What do us.......

[AdamW]

Men have to get a day off work without any questions asked....


Lass phoned in sick today....been in all week...also has Monday and Tuesday next week off and was saying she really needed today off aswell to do some shopping.....

Rings in this morning..."Not coming in this morning having womens problems"

"Oh ok thats fine, see you wednesday"

Thats pure bullshit, but its ok and no questions asked....

Takes the piss.....Yes it sure does

[jennifer1987]

lol, true

[craig180]

I can't complain really. I've had 2 days off work ill this week.

I felt as though I was taking the piss though and felt guilty. Shouldn't have though as I was genuinely ill!

[Dan]

They always have 'women problems' as a back up lol

[Mark51]

I felt as though I was taking the piss though and felt guilty. Shouldn't have though as I was genuinely ill!

thats how i feel mate, its like ou letting other people down. ive text in sick for tonight but my boss hasnt text me back so im guessing hes kicking th fcuk out of his filing cabinate again

[Scattle]

Always the same, I need a few days off work......

[Dan]

I was off sick one day this week too, had a banging headache all week and felt really sick. Came into work and then went home. Felt guilty but cant be helped.

[Jacko]

try phoning in and telling them you have "guy" problems.

[stalkah66]

I just phone up and say yeah im ill again i'll look thru medical dictionary and think of something by the time i come back

[blythy]

try phoning in and telling them you have "guy" problems.

or just say you have women's problems too, tell them you wont be able to work properly because you're demanding, irrational, whinging, moaning, flushing...

[deanyman]

Tried the above last week and they said "what...you woke up this morning and realised you had to blow your nose, so you want the day off sick?"

[jaybiss]

Tits or Fanny?

Love Jimmy Carr

[Robb]

if i didnt work an hour from home id be giving an excuse right now to go home.

hangover ftg.

[Chris]

Phone in and tell them you feel an epaleptic (sp) fit coming on. They can't insist you come in to work, cause they would be liable if you had a fit in the office when you've pre-warned them......................... how are they to know you're not Epaleptic???

Chris :)

[Wayne]

when i'm ill i always ring up if i'm ok i go to work.

[xsmile_be_happyx]

I wouldnt say i had woman problems lol, id be too embarrased to go back in lol.

I only phone in sick, if i am generally unwell

[AdamW]

When I used to work in a supermarket when I was 16 (hahahahahaha)....

I used to go to the toilet like every 15mins.........nothing they could do about it.....just told them I had diarhorea

[xsmile_be_happyx]

When I used to work in a supermarket when I was 16 (hahahahahaha)....

I used to go to the toilet like every 15mins.........nothing they could do about it.....just told them I had diarhorea


Lol were you just skivy? I do that all the time at work, just go and hide so i can txt lol

[AdamW]

Yeh skiving all the time.......

Hear them over the tannoy...."Adam to the tills"

Run to toilet clutching arse

[craigy_87]

When I used to work in a supermarket when I was 16 (hahahahahaha)....

I used to go to the toilet like every 15mins.........nothing they could do about it.....just told them I had diarhorea

hahahahah ahh that works everytime

[xsmile_be_happyx]

lol haha thats shocking

I cant do that at hospital work, but i do skive at my part time job lol

[Robb]

Yeh skiving all the time.......

Hear them over the tannoy...."Adam to the tills"

Run to toilet clutching arse

hahahaha.

dont quiet make it.

"Clean up on aisle 5"

[AdamW]

Although it was fun working there.....as all my mates worked there aswell.....

There was this one lad who if you shouted in his ear loud enough he would have some sort of fit........mate used to scream in his ear in canteen on lunch and he would just faint.....hahahah

Looking back I could of been an accessorie to murder

[Peejous]

Im self employed therefore i have all the time off i want.

[Robb]

as much as i hated working there it was a laugh. had loads of mates there.

go out and do trolleys!
no
why not
i have bad shins
robb go do it
ok im going to get my trainers
here wear this hi-vis jacket
helll nooooo
you have to, its law
*picks up hi vis vest* *throws it in bin on way out*


20 minutes later they come out to check on me and im sat on one of the trolley bays speaking to a mate. needless to say i never did trolleys again. they also tried to get me to pay for the hi-vis vest i threw away. no chance.

[S70KES]

there is a women on are team at work who isalways late and blames it on womens issues and gets away with it all the time. i was late once last week and got a right bollocking. cant you tell my boss is female

[Peejous]

Say you have male issues.

Like the morning glory was stopping you from rolling out of bed, and had to spend 20 minutes thinking about loafs of bread and grass before you could eventually get out.

[stalkah66]

One of the blokes I work with has been off 3 weeks with women problems now :@

[Hanuman]

you can use womens problems, i used one you justh ave to have it relate to you.

1230

to me manager - "mate can i take a few hrs off right now i need to do something"

"errrrrrrr ok"

i get a txt about 4 hrs later saying, well where are you,
i turned up about 4 n half hours later
"my gf is pregnant and wasnt feeling well"
ooooo ok well thats fine you can have the time off paid under special circumstances
me- "really... well can i take a few hours off tomoro morning aswell that would help (me)"


result!

[josh1989]

she's sleeping with the boss..gutted mate

[stalkah66]

she's sleeping with the boss..gutted mate

lol classic

[Peejous]

What about:

Wifey needs some more jam rags can i jus go and get some for her?

*come back 4 hours later*

I got scared about going to the counter with them and had to travel to the big tesco and go on the self scanning machine. Then the lady was looking at me all funny so i ran off but forgot to pay. Thus been chased by police, but they agreed to let me stop for a subway and a quick play on the xbox before they took me down the station and let me go with a warning. :y:

Would that work?

[vidal]

One that is guaranteed to work, however don't over use it, and it does take some pre-planning.

Find out the name of your boss's daughter or wife - and where they regularly go to drink.

Phone up your boss on the morning that you wish to have off saying that you have a very embarrassing problem and will he keep it secret - catch him in a meeting if possible.

Tell him you picked up a right dirty whore last night, dropping the name into the conversation at regular intervals, such as "Oh, she was a pervy bitch, that Samantha, gagging for it - I had to give up after three times and let my mates carry on." - is always good enough to interest the boss.

Then tell him that you need the morning off to attend the clinic as you banged her up the wrong 'un, you have sweetcorn up your jap's eye, and you can't piss.

Works for me.

V.

[stalkah66]

One that is guaranteed to work, however don't over use it, and it does take some pre-planning.

Find out the name of your boss's daughter or wife - and where they regularly go to drink.

Phone up your boss on the morning that you wish to have off saying that you have a very embarrassing problem and will he keep it secret - catch him in a meeting if possible.

Tell him you picked up a right dirty whore last night, dropping the name into the conversation at regular intervals, such as "Oh, she was a pervy bitch, that Samantha, gagging for it - I had to give up after three times and let my mates carry on." - is always good enough to interest the boss.

Then tell him that you need the morning off to attend the clinic as you banged her up the wrong 'un, you have sweetcorn up your jap's eye, and you can't piss.

Works for me.

V.

That is worth a Rep Enjoy!!!

[Nick_T]

hahahahahahahahaa
use vidal's excuse... must work every time!

edit: cant rep you vidal but you know i would rep every post you make :P

[saxyVTRsaxo]

Tits or Fanny?

Love Jimmy Carr

Anything i can help with? want me to take a look.........?

[Jacko]

One that is guaranteed to work, however don't over use it, and it does take some pre-planning.

Find out the name of your boss's daughter or wife - and where they regularly go to drink.

Phone up your boss on the morning that you wish to have off saying that you have a very embarrassing problem and will he keep it secret - catch him in a meeting if possible.

Tell him you picked up a right dirty whore last night, dropping the name into the conversation at regular intervals, such as "Oh, she was a pervy bitch, that Samantha, gagging for it - I had to give up after three times and let my mates carry on." - is always good enough to interest the boss.

Then tell him that you need the morning off to attend the clinic as you banged her up the wrong 'un, you have sweetcorn up your jap's eye, and you can't piss.

Works for me.

V.


best post vidal has ever posted.

[josh1989]

i'd let him have the day off just to stop hearing about him abusing my daughter!

[Scattle]

Excellent Vidal.

[Japman]

i ring up and say i got daireara(SP) in other words i got shit sqirting out of my rear end

Result

Thats fine Gavin

Goodbye

[VTR_Nick]

I can't complain really. I've had 2 days off work ill this week.

I felt as though I was taking the piss though and felt guilty. Shouldn't have though as I was genuinely ill!

that how i feel mate, if i'm not there even guinly ill i feel like i'm letting people down yet people can take days ill when they arn't without a second thought

[chrichvtr]

we have the man flu excuse!!!!

[chrichvtr]

One that is guaranteed to work, however don't over use it, and it does take some pre-planning.

Find out the name of your boss's daughter or wife - and where they regularly go to drink.

Phone up your boss on the morning that you wish to have off saying that you have a very embarrassing problem and will he keep it secret - catch him in a meeting if possible.

Tell him you picked up a right dirty whore last night, dropping the name into the conversation at regular intervals, such as "Oh, she was a pervy bitch, that Samantha, gagging for it - I had to give up after three times and let my mates carry on." - is always good enough to interest the boss.

Then tell him that you need the morning off to attend the clinic as you banged her up the wrong 'un, you have sweetcorn up your jap's eye, and you can't piss.

Works for me.

V.


fukin hell i love sweetcorn im going to have to do some homemade stuff then does it tast as nice?

[Barry123]

working in a supermarket was awesome.

i had a 4.5 hour shift of which 4 hours was playing pool in the rest area.

awesome