dumbest statements..

[R4T]

curious to what the dumbest statements are people have heard in there life


When I was about 15, I was helping my dad build a garage. When we were carrying in the lenghts of cladding I couldn't control the 20ft lengths and they were wrapping around me like a boomerang. My dad told me to use my forearms.
I replied.
"I only have two."

oooops lol

wot other silly things you all heard?

[TU-Tuning]

'Me 1.1 does 60 in second i swearz it'

[craig180]

Wash your finger for the minger

From a black dude in the toilets at a nightclub in Birmingham

[Hughey]

2 of my mates are called Dave. Ones last name is Broomfield and the other is Stafford. Once day a few of us were driving along (neither Daves were with us at the time) and we drove past a sign that read 'BROOMFIELD' and a mate says "Did you know Dave's last name is Broomfield?" And another mate replied "Which one, Stafford?"

Numpy :D

[TU-Tuning]

Wash your finger for the minger

From a black dude in the toilets at a nightclub in Birmingham

*expects shitty 7k post ASW thread to appear*

[craig180]

*expects shitty 7k post ASW thread to appear*

Too late. Missed a blinding opportunity there. Must be the lack of sleep!

[R4T]

lol nothing changes

[jablitt]

"your hands should be at 10 to and 10 past on the steering wheel" (Mr. BSM)

screw that, you've got to have one hand at the top of the wheel, slouch down in the seat and give it your gangstar lean!! thats the only way to look cool. (joke)

[TU-Tuning]

'We've stopped you because you were doing slightly under the speed limit'


Local constabulary

[R4T]

I saw a guy being interviewed by a cop on america,s dumbest criminals
He was asked his date of birth to which he replied 20th march. The cop said, what year ,The crook said every year.

[jablitt]

I saw a guy being interviewed by a cop on america,s dumbest criminals
He was asked his date of birth to which he replied 20th march. The cop said, what year ,The crook said every year.

lol, thats like 'my watch is broken but it is still right twice a day'

[R4T]

lol, thats like 'my watch is broken but it is still right twice a day'

lmfao!!!!!

[Hughey]

60% of the time it works everytime!

[Jagztorious]

'can you cut the orange into 4 equal halfs? '....

[R4T]

At college, heard one ask lol what date is christmas again lol never laughed so much

[Hughey]

'can you cut the orange into 4 equal halfs? '....

Haha thats a good one :D


Quote:
Originally Posted by jablitt View Post
lol, thats like 'my watch is broken but it is still right twice a day'
lmfao!!!!!

This took me ages to figure out! Oh dear...

[TU-Tuning]

60% of the time it works everytime!

Sex Panther Cologne baby

[Wayne]

my dad sometimes ask me what's the time, i say time you got yourself a watch.

[mattchewone]

Dont get the - 'my watch is broken but it is still right twice a day'
Confused.COM

[TU-Tuning]

Dont get the - 'my watch is broken but it is still right twice a day'
Confused.COM

Say it got stuck on 11 o clock, its 11 o clock twice a day aint it

[djrem]

my dad sometimes ask me what's the time, i say time you got yourself a watch.

never heard it before. might use it on a kid with downes..

[mattchewone]

Hahaha now i get it! Man im stupid at times. Its because im tired :s :y:

[Hughey]

I did the same mate haha, was sat here thinkin "wtf are they on about" haha

[Wayne]

never heard it before. might use it on a kid with downes..

i say it most weeks if someone asks me the time, makes most people laugh.

[saxo1510]

that 'get yourself s a watch' malrky, ive been saying it for years!

i come out with dumb quotes all the time as i have no common sense im dead smart but no common sense

[Paul]

lol remember my mate telling me about his sister..

His sister was taking a few of her mates around to her place, when they got near, her mates were being noisey, and as it was late, my mates sister said..

"Shh, be quiet my neighbours are deaf".

Numpty lol.

[Barry123]

One dickhead went to me....

'are you a f**king rocket scientist?'

'ermmm well technically yeah'

on here its usually something along the lines of
'myn iz slammd dwn 6 billion mm n it handlez lyk itz on railz y0'
bristol

;)

[claret-vtr]

2 of my mates are called Dave. Ones last name is Broomfield and the other is Stafford. Once day a few of us were driving along (neither Daves were with us at the time) and we drove past a sign that read 'BROOMFIELD' and a mate says "Did you know Dave's last name is Broomfield?" And another mate replied "Which one, Stafford?"

Numpy :D

I am the Dave Broomfield they were talkin about how dumb can you get lol.

[Mystic]

One dickhead went to me....

'are you a f**king rocket scientist?'

'ermmm well technically yeah'

on here its usually something along the lines of
'myn iz slammd dwn 6 billion mm n it handlez lyk itz on railz y0'
bristol

;)

Real men talk feet, and rails are often confused with "behind bars"

[josh1989]

school bus packed to the rafters, dumb sister:

"this bus will never take off the ground"

well i guess she was right i suppose

[josh1989]

or:

"powdered water? that's a really good idea!"

[mrolinc]

http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/462/image1xo2.jpg

http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=36827&page=2

;)

[vidal]

http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/462/image1xo2.jpg

http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=36827&page=2

;)

Kapow. Left hook from nowhere.

V.

[djrem]

http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/462/image1xo2.jpg

http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=36827&page=2

;)

owned . nice find

[David]

Pwned!!

[josh1989]

love how he didn't even say anything, just posted the quote haha

[laura_g]

Mine was at a party playin cranium i was asked do you have gravy in a boat or in a plane i sed both and everyone laughed i justified myself by saying i had it when i was in a plane once... then i got told it was a gravy boat which you serve it in oops

[Hughey]

Haha ownage right there!
Where did you find that mrolinc?

[The_STIG]

60% of the time it works everytime!


anchorman, love it :y:

[2Fast]

"how much are those penny sweets?"

[Jacko]

hahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaa.

tbh i told that story in another forum 5 days ago...they both copied me.

[The_STIG]

the pound shops that always say "everything £1" but in the window theres stuff for like £15 lol

[grim12984]

Driving up the M1 last night and the fiancee, pointing to a micra comes out with:

"Ohh, that car's posh, it's got lights to illuminate the numberplate"

Tried not to piss myself laughing as i pointed out that all cars have them.

Also coming down the A1 towards Doncaster and my lady sees the brown sign with a jockey on horseback for the racecourse and goes:
"Ooh! There must be a public bridleway round here somewhere..."
"No love, that'll be the racecourse..."

And she wonders why it took 7 attempts to pass....

[Jaytee]

We were round my mates once havin a few bevvies when a mate kicked a ball over next door, so shaun goes round an asks for ball back its about 3 in afternoon, so this woman answers door in her dressing gown an says can you keep it down im sleepin because im on nights. Anyway shaun comes back looking concerened and says, and i quote "Ey lads we'll have be quiet tonight, her next doors working nights" Never pissed so much in my entire life.