Lmao....1990 VW GOLF 1.6CL (Quite Rubbish)

[kristel10589]

:fcuk: This is the best ebay ad ever!! lmao hahahahahaha .......

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/1990-VW-GOLF-1-6CL-Quite-Rubbish_W0QQitemZ320231061269QQihZ011QQcategoryZ98 73QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

:err: don't think it's a repost, sorry if it is lol

[RyVTR]

lmao legend

[Keefo]

"The engine is present, and it makes a noise after you turn the key, so I guess it is working"

"When turning right on cold or damp days, due to a loose earth connection somewhere, you cannot both brake AND indicate at the same time, it's one or the other, so choose your turns carefully"

LMMFAO!! thats awsome!

[djmartin]

The engine is present, and it makes a noise after you turn the key

that is so the best sentance hahahahaha

[kristel10589]

the questions at the bottom of the page make a good read too :y:

i can't stop laughing at it lol

[Saxo-Will]

"It may look like the petrol filler cap has swung open as it has no retaining mechanism, but it is actually a cunning air-brake for keeping stability in corners."

classic lol

[J-Reid]

"Theres no reserve, and I really will let it go for £3.75 if that is what it finishes at, so make sure you bring the correct change."

ha legend !

[craftycarper]

this blokes a legend

[JC-Furio]

That bloke is mint, who needs an SLR with an airbrake when you got a petrol cap on a VW.

Made me laugh hard :) cheers for linking lol

[kristel10589]

:fcuk: LMAO hahahah the questions just get better and better lol:clapping::clapping::clapping:

Question & Answer Answered On
Q: Dear Mr Startacustard - My Name Is Dr Charles Alfonse Hertz Van Rental and I am the barrister for The Honerable James Jampot who sadly died in a car crash in Uganda. Will you take his ashes in return for the car and $25,000,000 paid into my account in Zug, Switzerland? 29-Mar-08
A: yes, absolutely. Please send me you name, age,sex,address, phone number, mobile number, account number, national insurance details, passport number and a recent photograph of yourself and we can proceed with this transaction.

Q: ah wot man dis car is sik man init! i hope i dont miss the end of the auction man, as i have always wantd a mk2 polo! i ave got me sum17" phat chromes init to go on and im gona make its ass sit on da tarmac! me homeboi dan sayz hell lend me his need for speed underground neons for the drive home, would you mind helping us install them if i wint the auction? peace man and lookforward to giving this car a good nailing on the way home! safe, from a hardcore maxpower fan init! 29-Mar-08
A: Fresh. Bring neons to pick up the car and the only thing I will do with them is attempt to beat you to death. Happy bidding!

Q: Hilariously funny!! Really brightened my rather dull day at work today so thanks for that :-) Afraid I'm in bonnie Scotland so no can buy but good luck with the sale. You selling anything else and what do you look like?! ;-) Rach 29-Mar-08
A: Hello again, I am still potentially selling anything and everything, but thanks for your continued interest. What do I look like? Maybe I should sell signed photos...

Q: Hilariously funny!! :-) Brightened my rather boring day at work today! Afraid I am up in bonnie Scotland so no can buy but good luck with the sale. You selling anything else? Rach 29-Mar-08
A: Thanks for the comments, being a poor person, I am always potentially selling everything I have, so tell me what you need and i'll have a look under my bed for one.

Q: Are you REALLY Spartacus? 29-Mar-08
A: no. don't be absurd. He was my grandad.

Q: Will you take my wife as a straight swop? She is 69 years old and drinks (to excess) anything with an alcohol content 28-Mar-08
A: In an attempt to avoid crossing the fine line between wit and insult, I refuse to answer this question.

Q: Thanks for cheering up my day, your description had me and everyone in the office in fits of laughter lol 28-Mar-08
A: That'll be £27.50 plus VAT please, this advert is intended for personal use only, business use of such will result in the stated charges. But thanks for the comment.

Q: as this ..........er .. motor is so uninspiring i've decided too become a nun. nice listing. 28-Mar-08
A: Well done you.

Q: my friend,your advert has had me in stitches this morning. What an EPIC advert. If i could drive,i would buy the car based on the advert alone. Well done sir 28-Mar-08
A: This car could be the turning point for you, if you owned this, how could you possibly NOT want to be able to drive?

Q: You are a Leg-End. I want you to write all of my eBay adverts for me, I'll even pay you 10p a time. Alas I'm not in the market for a quite rubbish car, me and the mrs each have our own quite rubbish cars thanks. 28-Mar-08
A: Deal, but I want 0.0001% of all sales. You know you dont have to use it as a car, I imagine it would make an interesting talking point as a sculpture, some kind of modernist statement on the futility of public transport versus the intermingling strands of automtive technology. possibly.

Q: Hello 'mate' - I see from the pictures only two wheels at a time are visible. Can you please confirm that the car has in fact got four wheels? I was concerned it has only two wheels and you have moved them to the side being photographed whilst the other side is on bricks. Can I also have about 200 pictures of all of the engine components too? Is the bonnet closed in the photos for a reason? Have you got a secret to hide? Is the oil in the back seat a red herring? Could you please also type all of the details of every scrap of service history into a really long email for me? Once I get all of this exhaustive and pointless information from you I will deliberate, and in true eBay tradition, probably not bid, and if I do win - probably not collect. Thanking you muchly in advance for your time which I intend to waste... Unless you will accept my offer of £11.62 in dirty Pompey money and half a cheese sandwich (Dairylea & Mustard of course) to end early? I await your reply... 28-Mar-08
A: Dear 'mate', 1. yes it only has two wheels, damn, you saw through my devious plan, i will purchase two more wheels before the sale. 2. no 3. yes, it is to stop engine components sporadically falling out of the engine bay. 4. Yes i do have a secret to hide, it has nothing to do with this car though... 5. yes, the oil is in fact high grade sipping whisky. once again, i will replace this with real oil before the sale. 6. no. 7. dairlea and mustard? you've got to be kidding.

Q: QUALITY listing mate we are watching with antisipation and and hoping to get years of lifeless and uninspiring driving out of it just as you have and will bid accordingly many thanks ross 25-Mar-08
A: Please don't bid accordingly, I'd much rather you bid way way over the odds, I'll never afford a ferrari if everyone were to bid accordingly. But thanks for the comment.

Q: Thank you for writing such a witty ebay listing. You have made my day. Good luck with the sale. 24-Mar-08
A: Thank you for thanking me for writing such a witty ebay listing. You can thank me even more by taking this, er, delightful example of a vehicle off my hands. Happy bidding.

Q: HI DO U HAVE A BUY IT NOW PRICE IN MIND? AND A PHONE NO TO CONTACT YOU ON IF SO I'M ONLY IN PORTSMOUTH. REGARDS 24-Mar-08
A: Yes, certainly, the buy it now price is one squillion bajillion pounds. I'd much rather let it run on the auction thanks.

Q: good ad mate made me giggle. cheers for the laugh. Daniel. 24-Mar-08
A: Thanks, I do my best. I always feel compliments have more wieght when given in the form of hard currency, so feel free to bid.

Q: will u take 35 pound today to take of your hands for banger racing plz let me know by text on 07809675791 thanks can collect same day 24-Mar-08
A: Banger Racing? BANGER RACING?! This car has got literally years of lifeless, uninspiring driving left in it, there is absolutely no way whatsoever that I will let you put this car on a banger racing circuit. No way at all, not ever. Unless you win the auction, in which case, smashy smashy!

[MJ_FURIO]

lol insane When cold it tends to idle incredibly high, the thoughtful technicians at VW decided I would be better off with a huge clock instead of a rev counter so I couldn't quantify how high exactly

[JC-Furio]

Q: Hilariously funny!! Really brightened my rather dull day at work today so thanks for that :-) Afraid I'm in bonnie Scotland so no can buy but good luck with the sale. You selling anything else and what do you look like?! ;-)

Think he's pulled as well :clapping::y:

[davew]

lmao quality read