18 - Too Young?

[nazz1]

Hey guys

me and the missus have been talking lately about us

alot of the conversation has been about what cars we want and more recently about a baby

she's 20 and i'm 18

do you think we are too young?

also how much so you reckon we'll spend say in the 1st year on the baby?

cheers

Nath

[Jacko]

babys are expensive...

i wont have a kind willingly untill im 30...

[Jazz]

Quite young but look at all factors- financial, long-term commitment, only you both can really decide if you're ready to take such a massive step.

[Ryan]

personally id say its very young you have your whole life to lead ahead of you and with a baby its a commitment you cant just walk away from.

If you love each other and really want a family and dont want anything else in live (travelling etc...) then talk seriou8sly about it, if not id say get it out of your head for a few years

[nazz1]

the kid will only be say 19 years younger than me

that would be pretty cool not a bad age difference to go to track days, golfing, shooting etc etc

i'm just not sure whether im taking it serious enough atm

[MrHouston]

Age doesn't matter tbh

As long as you can afford to buy things for the baby, afford to have just one of you working while your gf is on maternaty, have space for the baby then go for it

[kev999_VTR]

Personally i would say your far too young. You have the rest of your life for kids. Settle down, save some money, and build proper foundations of your relationship. Kids are a life time commitment. And at your age its a LONG time.

[JC-Furio]

VTS > Baby

[Danhunt]

People manage it, well you will manage it if you try hard enough.
IMHO i wouldnt have a baby at 18.
How long you two been together, and do you really see the relationship lasting forever?

Even if you're not with each other in say 15 years, you're going to have to put up with each other for the sake of the kid.

And if you're not in a job earning enough cash, is it worth bringing a child into the world without knowing confidently that you can support it?

[Jacko]

i would like to have the money to spoil my kid aswelll...so that means i need to further my career and have a wife with some decent income also if possible...dont ever want to be short of cash when i have a family...

[Danhunt]

the kid will only be say 19 years younger than me

that would be pretty cool not a bad age difference to go to track days, golfing, shooting etc etc

i'm just not sure whether im taking it serious enough atm

If thats the reason you're thinking about having a baby now, then i would personally, save up the money you would spend in the 1st year of the babys life and buy a porsche ;)

[Danhunt]

Personally i would say your far too young. You have the rest of your life for kids. Settle down, save some money, and build proper foundations of your relationship. Kids are a life time commitment. And at your age its a LONG time.


Touch wood ;)

[nazz1]

part of me wants a kid, part of me says we should wait

like the other week we were talking about all the cars we wanted,

holidays we wanted to go on and that

and recently talking about the baby

I am confident I could support it financially its jus the tie?

do you think its bad talking about this on a net forum

[nazz1]

Touch wood ;)

and thats another thing

i'm in the army, could have a kid say the beginning of next year

get shot the middle of next year

atleast then I can go down knowing i did actually bring something into this world

[Jazz]

Different people are ready at different times. No such thing as a set age for anyone. My mum had me at 19 (1 month before her 20th), my dad was 24, both were married, still are today. Only you know when you're ready to keep such a commitment like that, it is a massive step :y:

True what you said above, worth considering. But don't rush it just to be on the safe side.

[Jacko]

having a dead dad is never a good thing for a baby....serious.

[saxodan]

ur lucky i eben singned in

anyway

dont cuking have a nany

u too young

dont fucking do it

dont

for fucks sake ur two young
dont

fuck of

night x

[Curran]

and thats another thing

i'm in the army, could have a kid say the beginning of next year

get shot the middle of next year

atleast then I can go down knowing i did actually bring something into this world

i dont think thats a good enough reason to have a kid. if anything its a reason not to have a kid as it would be left without a farther.

how much time do you spend away from home?

would you be there for the child?

to be honest i think 18 is far too young to have a child. even if you have enough money, i dont think many people are mature enough to take on the responsibility of a child at 18. you may be, i dont personally know you so i cant judge.

i wouldnt want to have kid in your position. personally i want to be in a strong financial position and own my own house before i think about having children. also i would want to have been in a steady relationship for a good few years. maybe 5 years.

personally i think mid 20's is a good age to have children. i'm 20, so i wont be having kids for 5 years or so.

[Jacko]

ur lucky i eben singned in

anyway

dont cuking have a nany

u too young

dont fucking do it

dont

for fucks sake ur two young
dont

fuck of

night x

night dan x

[saxodan]

night dan x

jacko msn me your mp

[nazz1]

i dont think thats a good enough reason to have a kid. if anything its a reason not to have a kid as it would be left without a farther.

how much time do you spend away from home?

would you be there for the child?

to be honest i think 18 is far too young to have a child. even if you have enough money, i dont think many people are mature enough to take on the responsibility of a child at 18. you may be, i dont personally know you so i cant judge.

i wouldnt want to have kid in your position. personally i want to be in a strong financial position and own my own house before i think about having children. also i would want to have been in a steady relationship for a good few years. maybe 5 years.

personally i think mid 20's is a good age to have children. i'm 20, so i wont be having kids for 5 years or so.

well i have my own house

but many hours will be spent thinking about it

[VTR-LEE]

Mate personally too young, my mate and my sister had kids at 17 and now been 23 there skint and a little depressed as they have just realised that they couldnt do any of the things everyone else did and try and rebel at the later age and this ends up puttin strain on the relationship and hey ho what do you know they split up, the woman blames the bloke for never been around coz he is always at work tryin to get the cash they need the list goes on dude, Theres alot to it,

I take it you have your own place and have adjusted to the morgtage payment every month and bills, and on top your missus not bringin any money in coz she is preggers kids are very expensive end of ,

Im not sayin dont do it just do it for the right reasons mate, not just because your worried you might not be here next year. Me and some mate while in Belize got turned over by some cartel boys with machine guns and machettes everyone could be gone tommoz or tghe next day thats life , my advise dont rush it if you both love each other you can wait a little longer if she gets to upset about it it would sett alarm bells ringin what does she really want me or just a kid no offence just covering all angles,

Hope this helps mate good luck

[Jacko]

jacko msn me your mp

wtf is my mp?

[nazz1]

mother phucker?

[Jacko]

perhaps...

[Danhunt]

Mate personally too young, my mate and my sister had kids at 17 and now been 23 there skint and a little depressed as they have just realised that they couldnt do any of the things everyone else did and try and rebel at the later age and this ends up puttin strain on the relationship and hey ho what do you know they split up, the woman blames the bloke for never been around coz he is always at work tryin to get the cash they need the list goes on dude, Theres alot to it,

I take it you have your own place and have adjusted to the morgtage payment every month and bills, and on top your missus not bringin any money in coz she is preggers kids are very expensive end of ,

Im not sayin dont do it just do it for the right reasons mate, not just because your worried you might not be here next year. Me and some mate while in Belize got turned over by some cartel boys with machine guns and machettes everyone could be gone tommoz or tghe next day thats life , my advise dont rush it if you both love each other you can wait a little longer if she gets to upset about it it would sett alarm bells ringin what does she really want me or just a kid no offence just covering all angles,

Hope this helps mate good luck

agreed, good points.

[VTR-LEE]

Cheers mate i thought so to ha

[Morgan_VTR]

part of me wants a kid, part of me says we should wait


If you are not 100% willing as there is some doubt in your mind, KEEP JONNY ON!

Unless you really want this kid, onething may go wrong and youll go back to thinking "we couldve had this and gone there by now"

Dont do it, especially in your situation.

[laura_g]

personally i would say it is too young my mate is 18 and is due a baby in june but she can never afford to come out or come on holiday with my mates, just think shes rushed into things way too quickly and can see her bein broke for a long time, saying that its different circumstances for different people, just do what you think is right :)

[goldenfurio]

Why not get a dog and if that works and u can manage that then go for a baby

[Mertin]

I would say its too young, alot of people I knoe aged 17 - 20 are having kids and some of them have started uni then left as theyve got a kid on the way and have no qualifications etc

Im waiting until im at least 25, il live my life first then start settling down

[RedB]

How long have you been with her? 18's very young. I know she's 20. But in a couple of years time you might look back and wish you'd of waited. You can't say a set amount. Like this baby will cost me 4k in the first year etc. What if they are born premature and have to be in hospital or are taken ill etc. Babies can vary in how much you spend on them.

You need to have a seriuos think. Baby's aren't something to be taken lightly. You've got your whole life ahead of you dude!!

(ffs, it's Hannah on Reds name...keep forgetting to log out:wall:)

[Clouds_mate]

ur lucky i eben singned in

anyway

dont cuking have a nany

u too young

dont fucking do it

dont

for fucks sake ur two young
dont

fuck of

night x

Remember last time you came on here drunk and got banned? mwhahaha

[Amiee]

In my opinion its down to the individuals to say whether or not they think they are old enough and mature enough to become parents.. and not what everyone elses opinion is.

My friend became a mum not long after her 18th.. and she is a fabulous mum and has done very well for herself and bobby ( my godson ) so it goes to show that having children young isnt such a bad thing.

Also I must add a few years ago (am sure alot of your parents will say the same) that having children between the ages 18-21 was the norm as alot of people where married by the age of 21 and were settled and stuff.

I know times have changed and societys opinion has changed.. but principle is still the same.. Its only deemed as having children young because there are so many people today who are irresponsable and having things such as careers and a good education which people think need to come first .

So id say if you honestly feel your ready for such a big commitment and you can financially provide well enough then go for it.. But only you will know when your ready.

[Mark51]

imo yes you are too young. i have seen a few of my mates have kids young (17,18,19) and i has ruins their lives. however i have seen other people have them young and it is the best thing they have done.
the main thing you have to think about is the baby's wellfare, your relationship might be very strong now but could it cope with the stresses of the responsibility of a child?
can you afford to have a child?
do you have your own place?
can you offer the child everything it will want and need?

if your relationship is serious then that must mean that both of you spending the rest of your lifes together which imo means that you have plenty of time. you are both young so do what young people do and go enjoy yourselfs (holiday, get smashed, travel, etc...)

im 22 and have a decnt job. i bought a house with my girlfriend 9 months ago and sometimes have second thoughts about was it the right decision but then i think about what i have got and 100% know it was the right decision. i had and still have the option of "getting out" if i needed to but with a child you dont have that luxary.

seriously id think long and hard about it, discuss it with friends and parents but remember that thedecision if yours and no-one elses

[Ben19]

I had a kid with my ex when i was 19 (she was 16). The first few months where easy as he slept most of the time and didnt really need much to keep him happy. Me and my ex stayed together until new years eve when she fucked me off (Bitch tbh). The first few months didnt really cost much as everyone buys you presents...but once that stops it can be quite costly (but we coped alright and i get a crap wage). The little one is now 1year old and is incredible i only get to see him at weekends but i look forward to it all week. I never planned to have kids but i wouldnt swap my lad for anything. Forget the adrenaline rush of driving fast cars or seeing the world...nothing compares to seeing your own child growing up and doing things for the first time. Honestly mate if its what you both want then go for it.

[Barry123]

she's 20 and i'm 18

do you think we are too young?

fuck yes.

they cost a bomb and its pretty selfish to think about havign a baby if you can't afford to look after it properly and give it a decent standard of living early on

generalisation of course.

[Karl]

lolbaby.
@ 18....you must be mad.

[gozzy-vtr]

hey mate, well i wouldnt personnally advise it just yet, i was very happy with my girlfriend for 3 years, we talking about kids and the future- but as time went past it kind of all seemed to much! after gettin our hopes up so much and then deciding against the idea, we fell back to square one and we couldnt re-gain our love.. we split up 6 months ago, i am over her now but i am happy we didnt try for a kid, cos if we'd split up n she was pregnant it would of tore me to pieces. it not somethin u can decide on over night, honestly think of everything-
from
work-
money-
your relationship-
your family-
friends-
then the kids future and how your gonna raise it.

bringing a life into this world is the biggest thing you will ever do in your own life.

xx

[STU_412T]

me and my mrs had a baby when i was 16, she was 19. it wasn't planned and we panicked. he is 3 this year and i wudn't swap him for anything, not even simos vts ;)

if you can afford it and commit then go for it, it will be the best thing that ever happens to you. the first time i came home and he said daddy and gave me a hug i nearly cried.

unlike you we didn't have a choice but he is great. just say bye bye to a clean car lol.

[gozzy-vtr]

me and my mrs had a baby when i was 16, she was 19. it wasn't planned and we panicked. he is 3 this year and i wudn't swap him for anything, not even simos vts ;)

if you can afford it and commit then go for it, it will be the best thing that ever happens to you. the first time i came home and he said daddy and gave me a hug i nearly cried.

unlike you we didn't have a choice but he is great. just say bye bye to a clean car lol.

stud muffin 19 year old at 16!! luv it lol

[oadamo]

i had a kid when i was 18 money didnt really come into it as ive always been working but it was hard at times not being able to buy yourself things that i wanted. my gf was on her training corse for the hospital at the time. so we had no sleep and it put a big stain on us. make sure she is the one because things can fall apart fast. its a lot of hard work. my kids now 10 so i can use it to buy him (me lol) motorbikes and crap just bought 2 quads lol. i think it all depends on how you feel if your willing to put yourself out. and remember its long term lol. now ive my own company and looking at buying a new house so dont think that your lifes going to go down the drain if you have one.
good luck adam.

[STU_412T]

yeah man we are still together rocky patches but we are okay. all the best mate and remember do whats right for your circumstances. if you cant afford it then keep that pecker wrapped.

[kylie]

you've mentioned in previous posts that you're in two minds about this situation. 1 minute you like the idea of it, then the next you're thinkin of holidays and things you would like to do first. the fact that you have or are still having these doubts means you shouldnt go ahead with it in my opinion. not just yet anyway. not until you BOTH really want a child, and a child is what you want more than anything else at that moment in time. you will know when you are ready because you will look at holidays and see nice things for your car and then think :'id rather have a baby' and nothing else will seem important to you. you shouldnt really go on how much money have. as long as you have enough to get by then there should be no problem. And also age doesnt matter!

'age isnt important unless you're a cheese'

[Jules]

Take it from me - ITS HARD!!!!!
I wouldnt advise it at your age.

My daughter is 9 months old, im 23 and i struggle every day with it!! You have all these great thoughts and how enjoyable its going to be but trust me its really hard.
Your whole life has to change and basically be put on hold. You cant go out with your mates the way you could before you have them, you cant spend money on your car, and you can forget spending a sunday afternoon cleaning your car!!! Your every waking min HAS to be with the baby!
They are very demanding of your attention and also very very expensive!!! Just think about it all,

Can you afford it?
Can you provide for a baby?
Have you got a solid relationship? ( because a baby will really test you both)
Are you willing to change your life? - no more nights outs, car shows etc etc
How would you cope if your baby was born with a dissability??
( i only say this because my wee one had a bad start - she has a paralysed tounge so she couldnt feed)

Think about it - but i would enjoy a bit more of your life 1st