Funny things parents say....

[trcygrdn]

Dunno why I thought of this but I did and it got me thinking. When my mom was young her friends' mom used to her her (Ma's friend) that if someone saw your belly button you became pregnant!! Parents say the funniest things! My folks used to say that if you ate apple pips an apple tree would grow in your belly! Lol! Bless em! Anyone got any parent porkies they were told as kids?
xx

[Viper]

i swallowed a cherry stone, and my mum said a tree would grow in me

i cried :(

[Cal]

Callum stop masturbating

[Hannah]

If the Ice Cream Van played music it meant it had sold out!

[JC-Furio]

If the Ice Cream Van played music it meant it had sold out!

Were you fat as a child?

Because i had a fat friend and his mum told him the same thing lollll.

[bullit]

dont watch to much porn on tv, your eyes will go square

[Bondie]

My mum just use to threaten me by saying she would let the man from the naughty school at the top of my road come and get me :(

[kezz]

If you sit to close to the tv, you'll get square eyes....

[Hannah]

Were you fat as a child?

Because i had a fat friend and his mum told him the same thing lollll.


Not that I know of lol.

Just mental torture! :fcuk:

[bullit]

If you sit to close to the tv, you'll get square eyes....

thats the one lol

[Hannah]

When you pull a funny face 'You'll stay like that if the weather changes'

Thats where I went wrong all those years ago lol. Bloody english weather.

[trcygrdn]

If the Ice Cream Van played music it meant it had sold out!

LMAO, I heard that too! I'd forgotten about that one! :y:
xx

[Viper]

lol, love it hannah!

never heard that one before!

[kezz]

Actually my mum didnt tell porkys....she'd say "do that again and you will no about it" so i did it again and i definatly did no about coz the cow kicked 10 shades of shit out of me!!!

[JC-Furio]

Not that I know of lol.

Just mental torture! :fcuk:

Mental torture beats being a porker though.

I got the "Your face will stay like that" when I hung it out the window on the way to bowling =]

And so it did :n:

[Amiee]

If I couldnt find something mum used to say a goblin ate it,and if I didnt do as I was told he would come take me away aswell..

I believed it...

Im still gullable lol

[JC-Furio]

If I couldnt find something mum used to say a goblin ate it,and if I didnt do as I was told he would come take me away aswell..

I believed it...

Im still gullable lol

Come clean my room, or i'll get your mum to give the goblin a call

x

[Saxotim]

'if you do that ill get the wooden spoon'


so i did it once more and got smacked in the arm with it. fuckin hurt

[Matt67]

eat your vegetables otherwise your hair wont curl..

i never wanted curly hair.. and till this day they still say that to me

[Amiee]

Come clean my room, or i'll get your mum to give the goblin a call

x

Hahahah NO

[Hannah]

I always got eating Veg would put hair on your chest... can't see how that would appeal to me?...

[frankie]

i got told, if you go underwater in a jacquzi, you wouldnt come back up....

and if you went into an old coal mine, loads of ghosts would get you....

[kezz]

'if you do that ill get the wooden spoon'


so i did it once more and got smacked in the arm with it. fuckin hurt

LOL, we darnt do that to our kids now coz they'd have us for child abuse!!!

[Cal]

Eat your crusts and you'll get curly hair...

Yeah fuck off Mum *chucks in bin*

[Prickle]

dad just says to me,"silly boy you are"

[Viper]

I always got eating Veg would put hair on your chest... can't see how that would appeal to me?...

how could you not want hairy boobs?!

[JC-Furio]

I always got eating Veg would put hair on your chest... can't see how that would appeal to me?...

http://s133702574.onlinehome.us/pictures/blog/lindsayhairchest.jpg

She pulls it off pretty well... she defo got her veg out

[Petey1991]

Eat your crusts and you'll get curly hair...

Y*

my mum said tht aswell lol

[Mochachino]

Me "i wanna go for a bike ride"
mum "il give u bike ride in a minute" :wall:

Me "im hungry"
Mum "il give you hungry in a minute"

Me "where you going"?
Mum "going to see a man about a dog"

Me "how does santa get through the gas fire?"
Mum "He dosent, he comes through the radiator"

[Cal]

Billy Connolly has done the bike one ^^

[Mochachino]

Billy Connolly has done the bike one ^^

ino, i changed it a wee bit

i used to get it all the time :( what a shitter

[Matt67]

I always got eating Veg would put hair on your chest... can't see how that would appeal to me?...

i'd consider it, hairy chests are very appealing on women and not disgusting!

[streakofpiss]

"Go to sleep or bobby dark will get you..."

[trcygrdn]

Me "i wanna go for a bike ride"
mum "il give u bike ride in a minute" :wall:

Me "im hungry"
Mum "il give you hungry in a minute"

Me "where you going"?
Mum "going to see a man about a dog"

Me "how does santa get through the gas fire?"
Mum "He dosent, he comes through the radiator"

LMAO! Like it! :y:

[streakofpiss]

Also putting salt on your face results in stubble.

And eating crust makes your hair curl!

[kezz]

Me "i wanna go for a bike ride"
mum "il give u bike ride in a minute" :wall:

Me "im hungry"
Mum "il give you hungry in a minute"

Me "where you going"?
Mum "going to see a man about a dog"

Me "how does santa get through the gas fire?"
Mum "He dosent, he comes through the radiator"

lol ha! ha! ha!
my daughter "im bored"
me " i'll give you bored in a minute"

my daughter " im hungry"
me " your always hungry you greedy little shit"

but then i get " i hate you! " so i reply, so wot find a new mum then coz im not that keen on you either!!
HEY report me, im a shit mum

[frankie]

was also told jack frost lived in our loft....

[Amiee]

I always used to ask where mum was, or what she was doing and my dad would always reply "Shes ran away with a black man" (not being racist)

Used to upset me to fuck lol

And if I asked where dad was or what dad was doing I used to get tole "hes gone to see a man abouta dog" wtf haha

[djrem]

Its always nice to know you're a "failed abortion"

Made me laugh when Jimo told me that. x

[Viper]

lol amiee, one i always got was

where's mummy?

she went mad and they shot her....

cheers :panic:

[Pat_Vts]

my mum used to say to me

whos the power?! i am!!!! now u go do (whatever she wanted me to do)

[vtrjay]

Callum stop masturbating

LMAO!!!!

[trcygrdn]

I used to have long hair which used to have in a platt (?sp). Used to chew hair and my mom always said i'd get hairballs...well I suppose cats do eh?

[kyle_0790]

I got the..

Me: "Im Hungry"
Mammy: "Nice 2 meet you Hungry, Im Rachel"

and got called "ninkenpoop" alot!

:n:

[Predator_R32]

dont pick ya nose and eat it youll get worms lmao

[Matty_Mills]

had the wooden spoon a few times! haha
i used to get...
"Matthew, behave yourself or i'l call the gypsies to come get you!"

had the "eat your crusts..... it makes your hair curly" I never once ate a fucking crust, and i still have the curliest fucking hair!

another common one way "Matthew...... whats this in the internets history......"
by now i'm out the door and half way up the street because i knew that spoon was looking for me!

[djrem]

Im constanly told im insured on the 911.

I constantly say "pffsh yeah right"

its got to the point now where they let me get in the drivers seat, start it up.

Then im laughed at to get out.

"bollocks you'll ever drive it"

Fall for it everytime.

I die inside a little

[Amiee]

lol amiee, one i always got was

where's mummy?

she went mad and they shot her....

cheers :panic:

Lol... Parents are soo mean!!!

Im constanly told im insured on the 911.

I constantly say "pffsh yeah right"

its got to the point now where they let me get in the drivers seat, start it up.

Then im laughed at to get out.

"bollocks you'll ever drive it"

Fall for it everytime.

I die inside a little


Haha , Fail!

[Matty_Mills]

Im constanly told im insured on the 911.

I constantly say "pffsh yeah right"

its got to the point now where they let me get in the drivers seat, start it up.

Then im laughed at to get out.

"bollocks you'll ever drive it"

Fall for it everytime.

I die inside a little

haha...thats brilliant!!

[Robb]

my mum and dad always used to say to me "speak when your spoken to you little fucking shit bag."

[stompin-sarah]

eat yr carrots they make you see in the dark was wat i used to get told lol

and my aunt used to say to me if i was doin her head in...."go and play on the motorway" :(

once i replied to that by asking if they would take me to it and when they said no i cried lol

[Matty_Mills]

eat yr carrots they make you see in the dark was wat i used to get told lol

and my aunt used to say to me if i was doin her head in...."go and play on the motorway" :(

once i replied to that by asking if they would take me to it and when they said no i cried lol



thats just fucking harsh haha....
must remember that for my niece/nephew

[stompin-sarah]

thats just fucking harsh haha....
must remember that for my niece/nephew


lol i know :(


do piss myslef laughin at it now tho!

[Matty_Mills]

do you get on with her now?

[stompin-sarah]

do you get on with her now?

oh god yeah she was my 2nd mum till she died :(

[Matty_Mills]

oh god yeah she was my 2nd mum till she died :(

*awkward silence*
Atleast she didn't mean the motorway thing then.
Speaking of motorways, lad i knew got hit trying to run across one for a dare.
Not really the same though is it

[djrem]

for a dare? Idiot.

[stompin-sarah]

*awkward silence*
Atleast she didn't mean the motorway thing then.
Speaking of motorways, lad i knew got hit trying to run across one for a dare.
Not really the same though is it

fuk me thats harsh innit :(

and no she never meant it lol if she did they probs wpould of took me there lol

[Matty_Mills]

was quite funny actually.
Not at the time though obviously.
he's ok now though.
had to shit into a bag for a while...

[stompin-sarah]

was quite funny actually.
Not at the time though obviously.
he's ok now though.
had to shit into a bag for a while...

ahh so hes not dead then??

i thought you meant he died lol!

[kc51]

i used to get "callum come here, till a slap yi"


always fell for it :(

eat your potatoes itl put hair on your chest, never eat a potato once and got it anyway:(

[Matty_Mills]

haha, nono he didn't die.
Out with him tonight infact.
did change him alot though!

[Agent-VIP]

Stop picking your nose.. your face will cave in

Eat this.. it puts hairs on your chest. om nom nom.

[Trice]

Sounds stupid, but when i was aloooot younger, and i'd want to walk along on a wall, either in Walton, or in France where my nans from(a wall at the harbour) my dad would always tell me to be careful, cause if i fell off the wall, i could break my head and they'd have to put a football on my shoulders instead! I musta been about 5 or so i think lol But i do remember it.

[trcygrdn]

Sounds stupid, but when i was aloooot younger, and i'd want to walk along on a wall, either in Walton, or in France where my nans from(a wall at the harbour) my dad would always tell me to be careful, cause if i fell off the wall, i could break my head and they'd have to put a football on my shoulders instead! I musta been about 5 or so i think lol But i do remember it.

LMAO! That's cracking! :D
xx

[darkslag72]

carrots make u see in the dark, broccli puts hairs on ya chest.

[kyle_0790]

"Stop crying... you'll get wrinkled skin"

I never cried as a kid as a result... and still dont!

i jus ddnt get why the wrinkle thing wud apply 2 me tho lol

[smiith]

my dad used to walk off from me in shopping centers, wait till i cry, then come back. wanker tbh

[JimoVTR]

My mum got a slipper out because i was naughty.
I smacked her for hours

[acemastr]

Dad: "Do as i say not as i do"

[matt_vtr_15]

My dad always says 'can't is not a word'

One day working for him down at his garage, he made me hold up an old exhaust whilst he was bolting it on....

Matt: Dad i can't hold this any longer its killing me...
Dad: Stop whinging, you can and will hold it
Matt: Dad i can'tttttt......
Matt:*drops exhaust which falls onto my dads head and gashes a huge chunk out of his head, blood pissing out etc...
Matt: I told you i couldn't
Dad*I can't see blood is in my eye....
Matt: No such word dad....

He has never said it to me since.....

[Prickle]

my dad would sometimes say : you have no idea and *laugh*, annoyed me tbh
which the majority of you would agree^^^ :)

[carlyvtr]

My mom has always said "eat your baby cabbages" - it worked till i was about 8 when I found out she had been conning me for years - and giving me sprouts :) lol

[trcygrdn]

My mom has always said "eat your baby cabbages" - it worked till i was about 8 when I found out she had been conning me for years - and giving me sprouts :) lol

LOL! Sprouts are eeeeeeevil!
xx