If you were the last person alive?

[wiggyk1]

So, if you were the last person alive, what would be the first thing you would do?

I would clearly get myself to a posh showroom, acquire the keys to something ridiculous Ferrari etc, and then go hell for leather all over the place. Driving from one showroom to another.

Clearly the novelty would wear off soon enough and i would eventually end up walking around with my trust companion (poodle named Steve) hunting for food etc :P

What about you?

Giggity!

[JamesR]

Aqquire buckingham palace, and a huge HGV, fill it with food from supermarkets, and go to the palace and live there :p and obviousley get my dream list of cars :)

[Peejous]

I'd take one look at the fact im the only person in the world left on Sax-P then quietly go chuck myself off a cliff.

[JamesR]

I'd take one look at the fact im the only person in the world left on Sax-P then quietly go chuck myself off a cliff.

LMFAO, would be gutted about not coming on here aswell, but the fact i could have anything would subdue it :p

[-Jason-]

Peej fancy doing that anyway ;)

And if your at work whos on your xbox?

[wiggyk1]

Peej fancy doing that anyway ;)

And if your at work whos on your xbox?

Haha, holy god, imagine a world without the xbox? Or sax-p?

I would get straight on here and do everything i was NOT TO DO!! And no mods could stop me! Muwahahahahaha!! :clapping:

[Danr]

I'd go to work for 3 weeks and wonder why no one has called.

Then just get bored quite quickly. Watch movies, listen to music.

[Peejous]

Peej fancy doing that anyway ;)

And if your at work whos on your xbox?

She on that fucking thing again!?

Send her a message telling her, I know what she's doing.

[Peejous]

I would get straight on here and do everything i was NOT TO DO!! And no mods could stop me! Muwahahahahaha!! :clapping:

Sounds like an average day on /b/ tbh :homme:

[Ste]

Before going to M.O.D building or calling into a few RAF/Army bases and getting some toys to play with. I suppose id find a fit bird before she went cold.

I know i wouldn't get bored. I might kill myself learning to fly a euro fighter but i wouldn't get bored.

[badasssaxo]

The first thing i'd do is realise im never gonna get a shag again then prob kill myself lol

[Saxo_Davey]

I'd go to work for 3 weeks and wonder why no one has called.

LOL!

I would just do everything i would of done as if i won the lottery.

Mansion, great car, get biggest tv in britain, get every game i ever wanted so couldnt get bored

Learn how to fly a plane then travel somehwere a bit warmer and do the same there!

Then fall into depression, feel lonely then draw a face on a white football who will become my friend!

:P

[Amiee]

Lol id go zorbing down the biggest hill i could find then if I rolled into the sea or got ate by lions I wouldnt care all that much :P

[wiggyk1]

LOL!

I would just do everything i would of done as if i won the lottery.

Mansion, great car, get biggest tv in britain, get every game i ever wanted so couldnt get bored

Learn how to fly a plane then travel somehwere a bit warmer and do the same there!

Then fall into depression, feel lonely then draw a face on a white football who will become my friend!

:P

Acquire a blow up doll from an empty anne summers? Have sex with it? Possibly introduce sex toys?

[Jamie]

Realisation that no girls were around would seriously fek me off, id drive a few cars i wanted to & then probably persue an immense suicide attempt..supercar in to side of volcano sort of thing..

[wiggyk1]

Realisation that no girls were around would seriously fek me off, id drive a few cars i wanted to & then probably persue an immense suicide attempt..supercar in to side of volcano sort of thing..

I like your style! Preferred car for said suicide attempt?

[Jamie]

tbh Z06, love the sound of the V8

[wiggyk1]

tbh Z06, love the sound of the V8

Good choice! I suppose thats the last thing you want to hear before you die! lol

Just thought, there would be no such thing as danger wanking!!

[Mitchell]

id find all the hot celebs dead bodys, throw them all in a jacuzzi n have a party

[Danr]

No woman... if there are no police Beastiality wouldn't be illegal.

[Jamie]

Good choice! I suppose thats the last thing you want to hear before you die! lol

Just thought, there would be no such thing as danger wanking!!

lol! true enough,

That would be an immense death, z06 180-200 mph, valcano pissing out moulton lava & having a wank knowing it'l be your last! Epic!

[wiggyk1]

No woman... if there are no police Beastiality wouldn't be illegal.

Nothing would be illegal!! Woohoo!!

[Danr]

Don't lie Jamie, you'd get in the z06, bottle it and get into a zs and not make it up the side.

[wiggyk1]

lol! true enough,

That would be an immense death, z06 180-200 mph, valcano pissing out moulton lava & having a wank knowing it'l be your last! Epic!

And how pissed off would you be if you didn't manage to shoot your sticky love goo before you hit the wall?

[Jamie]

Don't lie Jamie, you'd get in the z06, bottle it and get into a zs and not make it up the side.

Worrying how well you know me :P, ZS is quicker anyway.

And how pissed off would you be if you didn't manage to shoot your sticky love goo before you hit the wall?

LOL you just would mate, unless death scares your nob back up the hole haha

[Mitchell]

i'd find jamies ST and rag the tits off it

[Jamie]

i'd find jamies ST and rag the tits off it

LOL! bastard! owel thats what shes made for :P

[wiggyk1]

i'd find jamies ST and rag the tits off it

Haha, and when your done, set it on fire?

Sorry Jamie, but it seems like an Epic thing to do! lol

[Jamie]

Haha, and when your done, set it on fire?

Sorry Jamie, but it seems like an Epic thing to do! lol

GTFO! id come back from the grave and pull him down to hell mwhahahahah, tbh as a ghost id rip the wheel from his hand on a mountain and say bye byeeee lol

[THEWEBB]

I would go and find kate moss"es body.lol

[wiggyk1]

I would go and find kate moss"es body.lol

Epic fail on the spelling! lol

[westcoastwunda]

id develop a necropheliac tendency, then id get kelly brooks body and bite her left nipple!! (!)

[wiggyk1]

I already have that tendency!

[Ryyy]

I would jump around naked

Mmmmm.....

[smiith]

id go and abuse preds fleshlight, leaving it full of spunk.

then go and get some beastly cars, go and play in a tank and blow some of london up. then probs crash a jet fighter...

or maybe try and get concorde on the go again

[wiggyk1]

id go and abuse preds fleshlight, leaving it full of spunk.

then go and get some beastly cars, go and play in a tank and blow some of london up. then probs crash a jet fighter...

or maybe try and get concorde on the go again

I love the ambition! And i would def head straight for the Palace or number 10 with a big ass tank! :P

[Curran]

there are some good ideas in this thread.

i may just go do them anyway.

[wiggyk1]

there are some good ideas in this thread.

i may just go do them anyway.

Haha, ill go out now and buy a brand spanking new suit for your court case! Dont think the trial will last long!

they will probably just bring back hanging! Dont worry, ill save your ass, Robin Hood style!

Anyone got a Bow & Arrow i can borrow?

[JamesR]

there are some good ideas in this thread.

i may just go do them anyway.

I think your on about the fleshight one ;)

[JamesR]

Haha, ill go out now and buy a brand spanking new suit for your court case! Dont think the trial will last long!

they will probably just bring back hanging! Dont worry, ill save your ass, Robin Hood style!

Anyone got a Bow & Arrow i can borrow?

250ft lb compound bow fit your requirments? 200ft lb crossbow?

[pjm300]

upon realising there was no electricity/gas/method of getting petrol/way of harvesting food

id starve and die.

[ricksimmonds]

tbh read through this thread and thought...welcome to my world.

most of these antics are regular occurances in my daily life

[Mochachino]

i wouldnt see no point in living if the gf wernt around tbh.

[ricksimmonds]

i wouldnt see no point in living if the gf wernt around tbh.

That is SOOOO sweet! :homme:

[JamesR]

upon realising there was no electricity/gas/method of getting petrol/way of harvesting food

id starve and die.

I think there would be enough fuel still in petrol stations over the world to last the rest of your life. I would just grow vegetables and hunt animals :)

[smiith]

upon realising there was no electricity/gas/method of getting petrol/way of harvesting food

id starve and die.

oldskool hand pump for fuel, just open the massive containers at garages.. or just take it straight from the tankers...

and harvesting food, you can just steal from supermarkets, use bbq's, or little gas canisters, or cookers that use gas tanks and not the mains gas..

and cars make there own electric ;)

really didnt think through your thread spoiling post.

think id get abit spooked out going into massive places on my own

[pjm300]

I think there would be enough fuel still in petrol stations over the world to last the rest of your life. I would just grow vegetables and hunt animals :)

but how would you extract it with no power to get it? i sure as hell aint gonna dig through the concrete slab to get to the petrol tank

[smiith]

but how would you extract it with no power to get it? i sure as hell aint gonna dig through the concrete slab to get to the petrol tank

theres the man holes that go down to the tanks... big hose down there.. old hand pump, fuel comes out

[danzman1991]

I would probably be near home when everyone else died, so I'd be in the middle of no where with not much hope of getting somewhere very exciting for at least a few days =(

[wiggyk1]

i wouldnt see no point in living if the gf wernt around tbh.

Was she over your shoulder when you wrote that? :homme:

[wiggyk1]

250ft lb compound bow fit your requirments? 200ft lb crossbow?

Why that would suffice nicely! Robin Hood meets the new age! :y:

[Mochachino]

That is SOOOO sweet! :homme:

loool :oops:

Was she over your shoulder when you wrote that? :homme:

n nahhh, shes a thousand miles away!

[HayleyVts]

i wouldnt see no point in living if the gf wernt around tbh.

ah how sweet is that

[djawesome123]

Tbh i would find all the top secret government locations and clone myself. might take me a while to read the user manual but im sure it could be done, then i would tweak the settings and grow me a female or 2, followed by a small workforce/private army. After that i would cruise round the world doing whatever the feck i wanted to

[Curran]

thanks wiggy.

i reckon i could make a good day of it.

probably start at the local ford garage (less than half a mile away) grab a RS and drive to the aston martin garage. take a vanquish drive around for a bit then maybe swap to a lambo or ferrari. then when i get board, move on to a tank and blow some shit up. then look for a eurofighter to fly to america to have sex with some celebs.

i would need to find christina and britney. they would be first.

then finish the day with a danger wank in the back of a police car.

sounds good to me.

maybe get back to the uk first so i get less time in prison.

then i can work on my escape plan and my next adventure.


I think your on about the fleshight one ;)

i had to google 'fleshlight' i didnt know what it was lol

i dont need that shit. celebs and danger wanking ftw.

[craig180]

I'd drive around the new roundabout by the Showcase, Leeds knowing I'm not going to get sideswiped by some retard in the wrong, clearly signed lane

I'd then drive to croft for a full track day in the S then get home and polish it

[JamesR]

Area 51 ftw :)

Would you all nail dead celebreties though? you would have to find them before they decompose. :p

[Curran]

Area 51 ftw :)

Would you all nail dead celebreties though? you would have to find them before they decompose. :p

they wont be dead.

i'm thinking about doing this tomorrow

[JamesR]

they wont be dead.

i'm thinking about doing this tomorrow

Al be watching it from on the news from the sky news helicopter :)

[Mitchell]

i prefer them decomposed

[JamesR]

i prefer them decomposed

New there would be one. :p

[Mochachino]

are animals still alive?

[JamesR]

are animals still alive?

I like to think so, if there wasnt i would be fooked with my hunting idea.


MOD ration packs ftw never go off :)

[Saxo-Will]

I'd sleep.

[JamesR]

I'd sleep.

Hibernation for you win then lol

After all my fun, cryogenicly freeze myself, until bacteria evolves into intelligent like who can unfreee me :)

[Krys_23]

I would recall this thread and think about how much weed you were smoking when you made it.

[Mochachino]

I like to think so, if there wasnt i would be fooked with my hunting idea.


MOD ration packs ftw never go off :)

was thinking for another use tbh :panic:

[flynnsvtr]

i wouldnt see no point in living if the gf wernt around tbh.

1 word. Tissue.

I would probably live off a diet of oreos, jaffa cakes and jager/red bull, and then find Steven Gerrard and teabag his annoying rotted scouse face

[Mikey]

wank in the middle of the oval office

[Jazz]

wank in the middle of the oval office

wank in the house of commons..

[Mikey]

wank top of eithel tower

[JamesR]

1 word. Tissue.

I would probably live off a diet of oreos, jaffa cakes and jager/red bull, and then find Steven Gerrard and teabag his annoying rotted scouse face

where not all twats like him

[Jazz]

wank off the top of the empire state building, before heading off to the white house lol...

[Mikey]

wank at the top of the twin towers...hold up?

[wiggyk1]

thanks wiggy.

i reckon i could make a good day of it.

probably start at the local ford garage (less than half a mile away) grab a RS and drive to the aston martin garage. take a vanquish drive around for a bit then maybe swap to a lambo or ferrari. then when i get board, move on to a tank and blow some shit up. then look for a eurofighter to fly to america to have sex with some celebs.

i would need to find christina and britney. they would be first.

then finish the day with a danger wank in the back of a police car.

sounds good to me.

maybe get back to the uk first so i get less time in prison.

then i can work on my escape plan and my next adventure.




i had to google 'fleshlight' i didnt know what it was lol

i dont need that shit. celebs and danger wanking ftw.

Me and my trusty crossbow (borrowed :y:) have got that covered.

[wiggyk1]

was thinking for another use tbh :panic:

Why not? I mean its acceptable for the Welsh! :p

[wiggyk1]

wank off the top of the empire state building, before heading off to the white house lol...

I wonder how long it would take your love goo to hit the ground if you did that?

[V5J]

id probably go insane tbh !





but on a childish note id wank on Gordon browns eye

[wiggyk1]

id probably go insane tbh !





but on a childish note id wank on Gordon browns eye

Possibly his mrs too?

[hellonpluto]

I'd shag all the dead women

[wiggyk1]

I'd shag all the dead women

Use protection! Dont want to get dead person AID's.

[ricksimmonds]

I'd shag all the dead women

be sure to put a few in the fridge at the local supermarket, wont be long until your scavaging small parts of skull to stuff your cock into otherwise

[wiggyk1]

be sure to put a few in the fridge at the local supermarket, wont be long until your scavaging small parts of skull to stuff your cock into otherwise

Good thinking dude! Get some on lay away! lol

I would get myself straight out to some top clothes shops and get kitted out in the best gear!! Dont know why, no c*nt would see it lol.

Would be nice to be dressed up for the dead girl sex lol

[Bickerton]

I'd find Alex just to see if he has actually stopped talkin! ;)

[0rang3peel]

It would be good for about a week, then I would realize I would never have sex.

oh wait that sounds just like now. Ye I would love it.

[Mr_P]

Be boring as fuck in work on my own :(

[Bickerton]

It would be good for about a week, then I would realize I would never have sex.



How you work that out, title clearly states "If you were the last person alive

[0rang3peel]

Yes exactly....? im talking about sex with a human....

[wiggyk1]

Yes exactly....? im talking about sex with a human....

Boring! What about a nice goat?

[0rang3peel]

Could always try the pushback cliff method, I have always wondered about that

[wiggyk1]

Could always try the pushback cliff method, I have always wondered about that

whats that?

[Bickerton]

It's where you stand behind an animal at the cliff edge and gentely push it forwards, if it feels it wants to push back onto you rather than fall off the cliff tis the same as consenting no?

[wiggyk1]

It's where you stand behind an animal at the cliff edge and gentely push it forwards, if it feels it wants to push back onto you rather than fall off the cliff tis the same as consenting no?

Simply genius! Same apply to women? :p

[Bickerton]

Simply genius! Same apply to women? :p

Yes it does "and that your honour is the case for the defense"

[wiggyk1]

Yes it does "and that your honour is the case for the defense"

Thank god someone has my back! Restepca to you Bickerton! lol

Edit: Spelt it wrong on purpose!

[0rang3peel]

Yeah another good one, I havn't tried it yet but in an end of world sorta scenario I might be obliged to..., fuck a chicken and then snap its neck its ment to make all the muscles tense perfect for them spunky moments

[Bickerton]

Anyone who said they ain't gonna shag animals is a liar!
It's not like there's anyone about to frown down on you for it no? ;)

[wiggyk1]

Yeah another good one, I havn't tried it yet but in an end of world sorta scenario I might be obliged to..., fuck a chicken and then snap its neck its ment to make all the muscles tense perfect for them spunky moments

you want Donkey Punch a chicken? Legend!! :P

[Mr_X]

It's where you stand behind an animal at the cliff edge and gentely push it forwards, if it feels it wants to push back onto you rather than fall off the cliff tis the same as consenting no?

lmao, :clapping:

thats good. must remember

[Bickerton]

you want Donkey Punch a chicken? Legend!! :P
Say my name bitch!

[Ferg]

I'd find all your bodies and proceed to teabag you ...

Especially ~
Saxo180
Jamie
Luke
Cal
Leckie
Tupps
Leeroy
Rush
Mikey

http://www.drunkuniversity.com/images/photos/d/Drunk-girl-gets-OWNED-with-a-teabag.jpg

But not MeoW ...
Karl
Jason
Peej ~ They are safe ...

[Bickerton]

I'd find all your bodies and proceed to teabag you ...

Especially ~
Saxo180
Jamie
Luke
Cal
Leckie
Tupps
Leeroy
Rush
Mikey


Peej ~ They are safe ...

Lemme get this straight, you are the last person alive, you can do anything you ever wanted........
You then spend your time dipping your balls on dead mens faces?
Each to their own i guess ;)

[Ferg]

That is correct ... I'll do it to you as well if you want?

[Bickerton]

That is correct ... I'll do it to you as well if you want?

Wouldnt mind, dying will totally kill my sex life nearly as much as my marriage did ;)

[ricksimmonds]

It's where you stand behind an animal at the cliff edge and gentely push it forwards, if it feels it wants to push back onto you rather than fall off the cliff tis the same as consenting no?

lmao :hug:

i felt some blood rush to my dick reading that

[weeguyno7]

The first thing i'd do is realise im never gonna get a shag again then prob kill myself lol

it does only say the last person ALIVE........u could still shag technically.... but.... thats dark :(

[Bickerton]

it does only say the last person ALIVE........u could still shag technically.... but.... thats dark :(

Dark bollocks, no one there to judge you but the cows and we all like steak don't we?

[Karl]

Steal the nextdoor neighbours Hayabusa Turbo'd Min Bin.

then go out and scare myself to death with acceleration / bin it into a wall.

[wiggyk1]

I am so glad someone changed the subject, this was starting to turn into some sort of an animal rape thread lol :P

[Bickerton]

I am so glad someone changed the subject, this was starting to turn into some sort of an animal rape thread lol :P

Is it rape if you buy the livestock?
Surely it's just prostitution?

[Prickle]

If i was the only person alive, id go cow tipping (or whatever its called) lol at them falling over haha. You didnt say that animals were dead haha.

[Bickerton]

If i was the only person alive, id go cow tipping (or whatever its called) lol at them falling over haha. You didnt say that animals were dead haha.

We need to get you a hobby

[Prickle]

We need to get you a hobby

Lol, i thought of it off the top of my head. i wouldnt no what to do tbh. the world would be my oyster.

[wiggyk1]

We need to get you a hobby

Says us who are well up for prostituting/ raping/ cliffing them!! :P

[Bickerton]

Says us who are well up for prostituting/ raping/ cliffing them!! :P

Sexual preference > hobby

[0rang3peel]

cow tipping, you can do that now! cow fucking is what you wana do mate

[Prickle]

cow tipping, you can do that now! cow fucking is what you wana do mate

Lol, go have fun. :P

[Bickerton]

Cow tipping usually kills the cow btw people don't do it

[0rang3peel]

im balls deep as im typing, wait what?

[Prickle]

Cow tipping usually kills the cow btw people don't do it

Like who didnt no that lol ? :homme:

I bet people do it for lol factor ?

Anyways that what i may do.

[Mr_X]

wtf s cow dippin? like chickin dippers?

[wiggyk1]

Cow Tipping!!

[Mr_X]

Cow Tipping!!

oh sorry dyslexic :oops:

[wiggyk1]

Cow tipping is the purported activity of sneaking up on a sleeping, upright cow and pushing it over for fun. In reality, though, cows do not sleep standing up.[1] Some[who?] consider the attempt to practice it an act of animal abuse.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Koe_in_weiland_bij_Gorssel.JPG
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tipped_cow_2008-07-05_14-29-2.jpghttp://www.cowfoo.com/w/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/cow_tipping.jpg

[Mr_X]

Cow tipping is the purported activity of sneaking up on a sleeping, upright cow and pushing it over for fun. In reality, though, cows do not sleep standing up.[1] Some[who?] consider the attempt to practice it an act of animal abuse.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Koe_in_weiland_bij_Gorssel.JPG
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tipped_cow_2008-07-05_14-29-2.jpg

oh that clears that up

+1

[Bickerton]

Cow tipping is the purported activity of sneaking up on a sleeping, upright cow and pushing it over for fun. In reality, though, cows do not sleep standing up.[1] Some[who?] consider the attempt to practice it an act of animal abuse.


Also a good chance the farmer will shoot you and bury you somewhere on the farm

[stevie_m]

would be one hell of a lonely place tbh,

but you'd def need a dog for some sort of companion or you'd go crazy,

It would be fun to have any car you want or anything you want ...period.

[Bickerton]

would be one hell of a lonely place tbh,

but you'd def need a dog for some sort of companion or you'd go crazy,

It would be fun to have any car you want or anything you want ...period.

Bout a volleyball called Wilson?

Can have anything you like now, just depends on how good you are at avoiding the law

[stevie_m]

i was always a Mitre man.....


sounds alot more butch !

who here remembers getting a mitre mouldmaster tattoo at school.... lmao those f*cking hurt

[JamesR]

Get a massive PA system and plast me Ipod through it :D

[Bickerton]

Get a massive PA system and plast me Ipod through it :D

Wouldnt it just be liek you had your headphones in ;)

[JamesR]

Wouldnt it just be liek you had your headphones in ;)

Yes and no, i expect the ground would shake, and it would be like an open sound and i could hear it miles away.

[phillyh]

Yes and no, i expect the ground would shake, and it would be like an open sound and i could hear it miles away.

There wouldnt be anyone around to hear it miles away though :p
Except for you, but thatd be pointless, might aswell get subs in your car!

:D

[stupac50pence]

Also a good chance the farmer will shoot you and bury you somewhere on the farm

it ok their your cows now as you the last person on earth, no farmer to shoot you.

[craig180]

Cow tipping? That's boring. I want to go tractor tipping. kachow!

[stupac50pence]

in all fairness it would be a novelty for a while but you would go insane. you would get proper bored after a while.

What would be good, would be if you could choose someone to stay alive with you!

Would it be a nice bird or someone who's off there head? Ie; jessica alba - fit as? or someone like johnny knoxville just for entertainment value? Note: you would probebly be dead after a week with knoxville.

[Curran]

surely then you would choose your partner/family member/best mate?

someone who you know well and get along with.

you dont want to choose a celeb then find out their a complete twat.

[wiggyk1]

in all fairness it would be a novelty for a while but you would go insane. you would get proper bored after a while.

What would be good, would be if you could choose someone to stay alive with you!

Would it be a nice bird or someone who's off there head? Ie; jessica alba - fit as? or someone like johnny knoxville just for entertainment value? Note: you would probebly be dead after a week with knoxville.

Only problem is after a few months, Knoxville would start looking pretty damn sexy!

[THEWEBB]

It would be great to be last person on earth? I hate people.lol

[wiggyk1]

It would be great to be last person on earth? I hate people.lol

You clearly have issues my good man! lol :P

[JamesR]

feck cow tipping, i would find interesting ways to shoot/blow them up :D

And i would pick an insane mate, would have the best laugh ever lol

[Prickle]

It would be great to be last person on earth? I hate people.lol

Web, its like no doubts song, walking in the spider web....

[THEWEBB]

Web, its like no doubts song, walking in the spider web....

Lol cheers.:drink: