any dads out there?

[bootsey]

me and my girlfriend ave decided its time for a baby, but to be honest im a bi worried that i might not be good enough, that i couldnt afford to support he baby, and if my other half dosent survive the birth. so kinda need some words of wisdom and advice:y:

[Kev_Vtec]

ive been told its hard but its the best thing ever being a dad.
my girlfriend was saying she want one today aswell after we went to see her friends new born of 11hours old.

[Mr_X]

how old are you?

[stevie_m]

father of two here.... you'll be skint for the first two years until you get out of the nappy stage. Just make sure that you have time for each other aswell, seen a few relationships go down the shitter because of it. I won't lie its not a cake walk but if you put in the time i'm sure you'll be fine

I would be telling lies if i didn't say i felt the same way as you are now. Wondered how good a dad i would be ... but i don't worry about it now because i know i'm shit at it.

The missus had her appendix out when she was 12 weeks preggers and it was a very close call but she came through and 6 months later we had a beautiful baby boy.

Now that the two boys are 6 & 4 this year, we have finally enough money for a deposit for a house and getting married in october

[dazzle]

i'm a father n dont worry mate. you wont worry about money wen ur holding ur baby in ur arms

[stevie_m]

i'm a father n dont worry mate. you wont worry about money wen ur holding ur baby in ur arms

very true, but when you hold the baby for the first time you certain feel the weight of responsibility on your shoulders.

but don't worry its all worth it

[Danr]

If your having doubts you're not ready imo.

[manta3000]

wait till there 19+21
i want a vtr
i want a
i want a
44 and greyish now
go for it,no money for a while,but it does get better,and now i wonder where time went

[stevie_m]

i'd rather be skint now and have kids so when im 40 i can enjoy life while they are out at work or uni. Screw that being 40 and having 2 kids crawling about the house and the sleepless nights. Personal opinion

[fossie]

Im gonna be a dad for the first time in around 5 weeks...... looking forward to it

[stevie_m]

Im gonna be a dad for the first time in around 5 weeks...... looking forward to it

Good luck hows the missus fairing ? Mines had a few rants but took it back after about half an hour sobbing it was her hormones

[Add91289]

i got a 4 month old baby and me and the gf are very soon moving into our own house. its tiering and expensive but its the best thing ever when there here. i was worieing like hell but its all turned out fine. im only 19 to.

[hellovts]

good luck, ex bird / gf / complicated girl asked me how many kids i wanted in the future

my reply was - 10 kids you?

lol...

[dj_russell]

i look at how me and my old man are we are a great team and get on really well like mates and i think the younger you are the better so long as your prepared to make ends meat to support your kid nomatter what.

also make sure your not with a nut job i was going to be a dad and was over the moon then the cunt aborted it fucking me around.

[Mr_X]

I cant imagine having children, i have so much that i want to do and focus on that i simply wouldnt have the time or energy.

[dj_russell]

I cant imagine having children, i have so much that i want to do and focus on that i simply wouldnt have the time or energy.

im the same now its all about making money and doing what i want to do.:y:

[Mr_X]

im the same now its all about making money and doing what i want to do.:y:

yeah i mean, im free to do what i want, when i want.

no doubt one day i will feel different.

[dj_russell]

yeah i mean, im free to do what i want, when i want.

no doubt one day i will feel different.

i was of a settling down mind and forgetting about my hobbies which for me was a massive thing pluys thinking of renting our own house but when the cunt did that on me the nice settling down person died. and i decided im doing everything for myself fucked her off and im a free man to waste everything i have on cars or having nothing to show for it it seems the best way but at the same time it also seems sad and that you will loose out later in life for us choosing this type of path.:y:

[Mr_X]

i was of a settling down mind and forgetting about my hobbies which for me was a massive thing pluys thinking of renting our own house but when the cunt did that on me the nice settling down person died. and i decided im doing everything for myself fucked her off and im a free man to waste everything i have on cars or having nothing to show for it it seems the best way but at the same time it also seems sad and that you will loose out later in life for us choosing this type of path.:y:


only young once tho......

[Luke]

It's scary as you ain't a clue what to do, but it's the most rewarding thing ever in my eyes. In my opinion, the first year is the hardest as it's the time when you'll struggle with money as if mother is not breast feeding you have to pay for milk (£7 a tub), nappies as babies like to go through them VERY quickly, clothes as they grow so quick, plus all the other little stuff they need.

However, once that first year is past when the kid is on solids, on better routines etc it comes very easy, then every moment is a happy one - watching them grow up in their own little world at time is amazing!

I was 19 when I had Ruby, I didn't get my act together straight away as it was a massive shock but I'm a good Dad now.

[ash_sx125]

Me and my ex g/f had been thinking/planning this and decided we'd both like 2 (although i wouldn't get a say in the names)..

We're both young though and decided that once we were financially secure and had a roof over our heads then we'd try.

Then she dumped me a week ago :(

[Natalie]

I have 11 week old twin boys. It's the hardest thing I've ever done but by far the best and worth every minute. I was worried about coping and being a good mummy but you know more about looking after a baby than you think you do and most of it is just an instinct. The intial lay out of buying all the things you need for a baby is hard but remember that Ebay is your friend and half the stuff is worth getting second hand as it's not used an awful lot as babies grow out of things so quickly. I'd advise you just to get the essentials then buy stuff as and when you need it when the baby is born as half the stuff they say you need in the catalogues you don't really need. My two weren't planned and I was worried about being young and still wanting to do other things first but all that stuff fails in comparison to being a parent. I'm not as fussed about taking the TVR off the road this summer than I expected to be as I'd rather take the boys out with me then leave them with their grandparents and go out in the sports car all weekend. I miss them too much when they aren't with me. It'll be back on the road next summer though as I will be having withdrawal symptons. It's natural to have worries and everyone has them. Good luck

[Mr_X]

Then she dumped me a week ago :(

:) happy days mate, happy days.

[dj_russell]

Me and my ex g/f had been thinking/planning this and decided we'd both like 2 (although i wouldn't get a say in the names)..

We're both young though and decided that once we were financially secure and had a roof over our heads then we'd try.

Then she dumped me a week ago :(

you had a lucky escape mate.:y: at least you never got to the stage when she was pregnant then to have it aborted that would fuck you up.

[bootsey]

i'd rather be skint now and have kids so when im 40 i can enjoy life while they are out at work or uni. Screw that being 40 and having 2 kids crawling about the house and the sleepless nights. Personal opinion

very good point

and thanks everyone

looks like i can say goodbye to my eam of getting a vts and start buying baystuff

cheeres lads knew i could rely on yu lot for help:y:

[bootsey]

I have 11 week old twin boys. It's the hardest thing I've ever done but by far the best and worth every minute. I was worried about coping and being a good mummy but you know more about looking after a baby than you think you do and most of it is just an instinct. The intial lay out of buying all the things you need for a baby is hard but remember that Ebay is your friend and half the stuff is worth getting second hand as it's not used an awful lot as babies grow out of things so quickly. I'd advise you just to get the essentials then buy stuff as and when you need it when the baby is born as half the stuff they say you need in the catalogues you don't really need. My two weren't planned and I was worried about being young and still wanting to do other things first but all that stuff fails in comparison to being a parent. I'm not as fussed about taking the TVR off the road this summer than I expected to be as I'd rather take the boys out with me then leave them with their grandparents and go out in the sports car all weekend. I miss them too much when they aren't with me. It'll be back on the road next summer though as I will be having withdrawal symptons. It's natural to have worries and everyone has them. Good luck

thanks you so much, yeah weve alredy talked to some people and theywere mo than hapy tolet us buy/have some of ther stuff from there babys, and the gf been on ebay and found stuf dirt cheap. i was expecting bbarrels of abuse saying stuff like balls to a bab get a vtr and too young and stuff. but you lot are wha makes this form the best onthe web :P:y:

[djflipsaxo]

im a mum. my son is nearly2
his dad was the same as you mate, it does not matter how old you are there is nover a right time to do it! he worried untill the day he was born, he was the first to hold him and he had tears in his eyes. i didnt hold him untill i was more stable after birth but they had an instant bond and to see them now is incredible.

[Natalie]

thanks you so much, yeah weve alredy talked to some people and theywere mo than hapy tolet us buy/have some of ther stuff from there babys, and the gf been on ebay and found stuf dirt cheap. i was expecting bbarrels of abuse saying stuff like balls to a bab get a vtr and too young and stuff. but you lot are wha makes this form the best onthe web :P:y:

Yeah we've got some right bargains on Ebay. We got 2 maxi cosis car seats and 2 isofix bases which is £430 worth of kit for £123, 2 moses baskets for under £25, a Silver Cross single pram (I put them in one pram for the first few weeks) for £77 and a mamas and papas starlite swing for £12 which I've just sold on for £26.

Having a baby doesn't mean you have to sacrifice the car you drive. I couldn't drive the saxo everyday as it's not big enough so my OH is using it to commute in and this is my family car, a 2.5ltr V6 Mondeo ST200

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v648/Natalie_mc/ST200005.jpg

[flynnsvtr]

i was of a settling down mind and forgetting about my hobbies which for me was a massive thing pluys thinking of renting our own house but when the cunt did that on me the nice settling down person died. and i decided im doing everything for myself fucked her off and im a free man to waste everything i have on cars or having nothing to show for it it seems the best way but at the same time it also seems sad and that you will loose out later in life for us choosing this type of path.:y:

I don't think you lose out at all, not sure about you but before i get shacked up with wife and kids I want to travel the world and make the most of being young, whole life ahead of you for the settling down part, hence why most people have kids 25+

[MR_N]

Yeah we've got some right bargains on Ebay. We got 2 maxi cosis car seats and 2 isofix bases which is £430 worth of kit for £123, 2 moses baskets for under £25, a Silver Cross single pram (I put them in one pram for the first few weeks) for £77 and a mamas and papas starlite swing for £12 which I've just sold on for £26.

Having a baby doesn't mean you have to sacrifice the car you drive. I couldn't drive the saxo everyday as it's not big enough so my OH is using it to commute in and this is my family car, a 2.5ltr V6 Mondeo ST200

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v648/Natalie_mc/ST200005.jpg

And you let rich drive the saxo with the s conversion. i know what id rather.
Tvr looked fine to me yesterday but rich said it failed the mot. what it fail on
Sorry for the thread hijack

[craig180]

I have 2 boys, one 4 and the other almost 2.

Wouldn't change them for the world. It's not rocket science bringing up kids so long as you don't go by Jeremy Kyle style standards

[Bound]

Yeah we've got some right bargains on Ebay. We got 2 maxi cosis car seats and 2 isofix bases which is £430 worth of kit for £123, 2 moses baskets for under £25, a Silver Cross single pram (I put them in one pram for the first few weeks) for £77 and a mamas and papas starlite swing for £12 which I've just sold on for £26.

Having a baby doesn't mean you have to sacrifice the car you drive. I couldn't drive the saxo everyday as it's not big enough so my OH is using it to commute in and this is my family car, a 2.5ltr V6 Mondeo ST200

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v648/Natalie_mc/ST200005.jpg

Always liked these cars. Think they look damn nice, and much more practical than a saxo

[savo]

Having kids is by far the most rewarding thing you can do..period. My daughters 3 now and watching her growing up is amazing.

If you decide to have kids the child must come first before you and your other half but like someone else said, make sure you spend time with your partner..if you cant find the time make the time cause its important..for many reasons, one being a stable and happy environment for your child.

[Bickerton]

Make sure you got a strong enough relationship with the missus before you even consider kiddies

[vtrsarah]

personally i wouldnt do it but i am someone that never wants kids but if you do go ahead hope it all goes well

[savo]

Make sure you got a strong enough relationship with the missus before you even consider kiddies

Agreed. Also if your having any problems in your relationship, dont think that having a baby will be the solution to the problems..cause it wont.

[Bickerton]

Agreed. Also if your having any problems in your relationship, dont think that having a baby will be the solution to the problems..cause it wont.

It as a rule puts massive strains on a relationship, mainly cos baby gotta come 1st now, not you.

Alot of people have babies for the wrong reasons, make sure you are both having babies for the same and right reason as can be the most costly mistake of your life, especially if the relationship doesnt work out

[Natalie]

And you let rich drive the saxo with the s conversion. i know what id rather.
Tvr looked fine to me yesterday but rich said it failed the mot. what it fail on
Sorry for the thread hijack

Two babies and a double pushchair have no chance of fitting in a saxo so Rich drives that and I take it when I'm popping out without the boys. I've had it 6 years so it's staying. On the TVR both headlamps need adjusting, the seat belt anchor plates need renewing as they are rusty, the steering column union joint and rod are worn and the hazard switch falls through the dash. It could do with some new shocks too. A TVR dealership want £2700 to do the work which is extortionate so Rich is going to do it all ready for next summer.

[McGuire86]

Wouldnt even consider it until you were married and abit older

[dj_russell]

I don't think you lose out at all, not sure about you but before i get shacked up with wife and kids I want to travel the world and make the most of being young, whole life ahead of you for the settling down part, hence why most people have kids 25+

dunno i feel ive lost out tbh as much as i enjoy my life now i think about what i could of had thats always the thought even if really i had a lucky escape you cant but think what if etc...:y:

[bootsey]

and the main reasonwe want one so bad now is that she got pregnent whilst on the pill and misscarried, which broke both our hearts :(

[Bickerton]

and the main reasonwe want one so bad now is that she got pregnent whilst on the pill and misscarried, which broke both our hearts :(

How long ago? iirc need a good gap after a miscarriage as will msot likely happen again

[lakey_xs]

me and the mrs have got a little horror called lucie who is 2 next month love here to bits times have been hard no cash and so on but get by most of the time had my mum and dad to help out and here mum and dad so its not that bad best thing i can say is spend as much time with both your mrs and the baby while he/she is young then it just gets better :)