Bored in work... tell me a joke!

[RAFkev]

a good one!

[C4_Lew]

got some west ham wallpaper today but had to take it back cos it wouldnt stay up :)






sorry ill leave now :(

[Dave-B]

In three weeks time the last ever Celebrity Big Brother will be over.

It feels like the end of an error

[RAFkev]

got some west ham wallpaper today but had to take it back cos it wouldnt stay up :)






sorry ill leave now :(

lol, although stollen from allistar mcgowan i think?

[RAFkev]

In three weeks time the last ever Celebrity Big Brother will be over.

It feels like the end of an error

ha! "error"!!

good one

[AkuskaUK]

Did you hear about the short sighted circumciser?


He got the sack :D

[C4_Lew]

lol, although stollen from allistar mcgowan i think?

yeah :) just watched it

Reg D. Hunter is a legend

[J222JRA]

I wonder how long this jokes thread will last before someone over-steps the mark!

[RAFkev]

I wonder how long this jokes thread will last before someone over-steps the mark!

lol the "close to the line" ones are the best!

as long as we dont start the racist ones. Although some are good the mods dont like em!

[James106]

I wonder how long this jokes thread will last before someone over-steps the mark!

Haha never heard that one before :P:homme:

Sorry, couldn't resist :D

[CurtSD]

got some west ham wallpaper today but had to take it back cos it wouldnt stay up :)

In three weeks time the last ever Celebrity Big Brother will be over.

It feels like the end of an error

Been good so far ;)

[C4_Lew]

Been good so far ;)

its all downhill from here then

[RAFkev]

come on... there is 90 odd people viewing general chat there has to be a few more!!!

[Tontsy]

why dont you sit on my face, and ill eat my way to your heart.


chat up, rather than a joke. but when you say is to an armish, its funny all round.

[Dave-B]

This joke is like a rapist. It's going to score whether you like it or not.

[Rogue_Shadow]

I'll tip toe on the "Mark"

And Englishman, Irishman and Scottish man walks into a bar
The man at the bar says " IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE!"

:D

[AkuskaUK]

Three guys are comparing their drunkenness from the night before. The first guy says "I was so drunk i don't know how i even got home, i just woke up in a pool of sweat", "Oh Yeah?" says the second man, "i was so wasted i took home a strange woman and was having sex with her when my wife walked in.", "Thats nothing" says the third man, "i was so pissed i was blowing chunks all night". "Big Deal!" scoffs the other two men. The third guy replies "I dont think you two understand - chunks is the name of my dog"

:P

[Rogue_Shadow]

This joke is like a rapist. It's going to score whether you like it or not.
Someone visiting Sickapedia? :clapping:
Got told about it last night with some mates, messed up jokes on that site!

[RAFkev]

I'll tip toe on the "Mark"

And Englishman, Irishman and Scottish man walks into a bar
The man at the bar says " IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE!"

:D

I dont think Englishman, Irishman and Scottsman will ever be classed as "racist".

It will be a very sad day if they are!

[RAFkev]

Three guys are comparing their drunkenness from the night before. The first guy says "I was so drunk i don't know how i even got home, i just woke up in a pool of sweat", "Oh Yeah?" says the second man, "i was so wasted i took home a strange woman and was having sex with her when my wife walked in.", "Thats nothing" says the third man, "i was so pissed i was blowing chunks all night". "Big Deal!" scoffs the other two men. The third guy replies "I dont think you two understand - chunks is the name of my dog"

:P

haha i actually LOLed!

[AkuskaUK]

haha i actually LOLed!

yeahhhh!!! i got loads :D

[AkuskaUK]

How do you confused a dickhead?


42 :D

[mik]

I wonder how long this jokes thread will last before someone over-steps the mark!

tis why i'm not posting...

[digital]

tis why i'm not posting...

you just did?...

[RAFkev]

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"

[C4_Lew]

hahaha

[Tontsy]

woman comes home, from a night out.
as she goes up stairs she decides to treat her boyfriend to a blow job, to wake him up.

she climbes under the sheets, and starts sucking him off.
once hes finished, she goes to the bathroom to wipe off.

as she walks into the bathroom her boyfriend is there, she yells
"what the fuck are you doing here?"

he replies
"shh or you will wale up your father"

[AkuskaUK]

How do you stop a woman giving you a blow job? - Marry Her

Tommy ran home from school and couldnt wait to break his good news. "Mum Mum!' he yelled "i had sex with my geography teacher today!, Dad dad guess what!, i had sex with my geography teacher" The father replied "Im proud of you son!" much to his mothers disbelief, the dad replied "You are now old enough to ride your brothers bike", Tommys face dropped with disapointment, then softly replied...


"I can't, My arse hurts!"

[C4_Lew]

haha those last 2 are brilliant

Me and my wife lived happily for 23 years, then we met

[adam_baker]

what key unlocks every lock?
A pikey

[AkuskaUK]

1. Scientists have discovered that beer contains female hormones. To prove this they gave 3 men 12 pints, suddenly they talked shite, gained weight and couldn't drive.

2. Bloke wants his 70 year old wife dead. He asks a hitman how he would do it. He says "I would shoot her below the left nipple" Bloke says "I want her dead, not fucking knee capped!"

3. A family are driving behind a dustcart when a dildo flies out and hits their windscreen. Embarassed and to protect her young sons innocence, the woman says it was an insect, to which one of the boys replied "I'm supprised it can fly with a cock like that!"

4. What did one blondes leg say to the Other? - Between you and me, we could make a lot of money.

5. Whats a blondes favorite Nursery Ryme - Humpme Dumpme. :D :D

[marcusd]

johnny walks into his parents bedroom and sees his dadgiving his mum one, his dad just laughs, throws a pillow at him and shouts ''get out'' a little while later johnnys dad hears a commotion coming from little johnnys room, he rushes in and is horrified to see johnny shagging his granny- johnny just looks at him and says ''not so fucking funnywhen its your mum is it?

[adam_baker]

johnny walks into his parents bedroom and sees his dadgiving his mum one, his dad just laughs, throws a pillow at him and shouts ''get out'' a little while later johnnys dad hears a commotion coming from little johnnys room, he rushes in and is horrified to see johnny shagging his granny- johnny just looks at him and says ''not so fucking funnywhen its your mum is it?

heard this joke so many times and it's still funny :y:

[marcusd]

why did god invent orgasms?

so they can still have a good fucking moan even when they're enjoying themselves

[Shadowdemon]

A Jelly Baby goes to the doctors and says "I think i have aids"
The doctor Replies "you can't have aids your a jelly baby"
The jelly baby replies "Yeah i know, but i've been sleeping with allsorts"



A woman was watching the six o'clock news at home, when she heard on it that there was a car driving down the wrong side of the M25.

She realised that her husband would probably be driving home from work along the M25, so she rang him up on his mobile, and said "Be careful darling, some nutcase is driving along the M25 on the wrong side", to which he replied "tell me about it, there're hundreds of them at it."

[AkuskaUK]

aha :D

been told that before, scary thing was i was working in a preschool and the main supervisor said it to me :S

[mickyfinn]

Three guys are comparing their drunkenness from the night before. The first guy says "I was so drunk i don't know how i even got home, i just woke up in a pool of sweat", "Oh Yeah?" says the second man, "i was so wasted i took home a strange woman and was having sex with her when my wife walked in.", "Thats nothing" says the third man, "i was so pissed i was blowing chunks all night". "Big Deal!" scoffs the other two men. The third guy replies "I dont think you two understand - chunks is the name of my dog"

:P

thats awsome :y::clapping:

[TU-Tuning]

Why are pirates called pirates?



Because they ARRRRRRGGHH.......Told in the right way that ones quite funny lol. Only one that sticks with me