Ever pooped yourself in public?

[9Freedman9]

Two people within the last year have shat themselves whilst being at work, one on a checkout, as I work in Sainsbury's, and the other being the security guard, well, the checkout person threw her shitty nickers in her locked upstairs, and somehow managed to smear shit all in the toilet cubicle, and the security guard just carried on as if nothing had happened.

What I want to know is, is there a moment where you just 'let go' so to speak, and can't control whether it comes or not? I have been caught short a few times but have always managed to find a toilet.

Anyone ever pooped themselves in public then?

[Ben]

No.


LOL

[chimpy_vts]

cant say i ever have lmao, oh dear this thread should be intresting lol

[Mochachino]

Fkin lol tbh.

[Sam]

i can say i have never shit myself in public. maybe the guard thought it was a fart but surprised him self

[djmartin]

W.......T...............F


I never have done but it must take some Guts (sorry for the Pun lol) to admit on an open forum you have Shat yah self in public LOLS

EDIT: I do recall a mate of mine though. when we was younger and you had mates sleep over kinda thing I made him laught so hard hit shit himself. the moment was kinda surreal!

was like
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA...(silence from my mate)..........I ask whats up...mate says Martin I think I have just shat myself!.................... my reply LMFAO! your kidding me right HAHAHAHAHA

[Saxomatic]

Haha what the hell?

Anyway, a friend of mine knew a guy who worked in M&S. Apparently the manager was giving him shit because he wasn't good at his job (he was a serious drug addict and as a result he messed up alot) and so he decided to give him shit back.. apparently he 'done the deed' in the middle of an isle shortly after closing time.

He got instant dismissal for that. I don't know if its true, but I have it on good authority that it is.

Why is this thread even on here? haha?!

[9Freedman9]

Haha, you'd be suprised to find out how many people have actually done it, I have stolen this thread from a CPFC forums and it was a major LOLS thread to be fair.


Come on people, open up!

[Viper]

shat myself in school once...

[djmartin]

Haha,

Come on people, open up!

Not the best term of wording there when the thread is about shitting yourself LOL

[9Freedman9]

shat myself in school once...



Tell us, let it all out...

[Krys_23]

shat myself in school once...

I got accused of it one time..

[Viper]

oh god, this thread is full of poo jokes :(

no explanation needed really... really needed a shit, sort of relaxed, and shat myself

LOL at being accused of it!

[Saxomatic]

I got accused of it one time..

HAHA!? I actually laughed out loud :cool:

[Mallyauto86]

one of my work collegues have he like farts litrally every 10 minutes i swear he has a problem . . never known anyone perform a constant smell of shit like that i can get one buit letting rip 50 times a day and they all smell like shit well its not normal . .

other than that urm had a mate that got shit on his balls after doin his mrs up the arse . . . other than that . . .

[Krys_23]

It's a funny story actually, Was at high school. Sitting in english.. Next get a very sore stomach think i had food poisoning so asked if i could go to the toilet as really needed a shit badly, So i went to the pan took the biggest skitter of my life, then realised there was no toilet roll.. So wiped my arse with some Calvin Kleins and left them in the toilet full of shit. Went home to get changed early. Next i get a phone call from my mate saying aww i heard you shat yourself everyone at school knows. Worst accusation of my life.. never live that one down!

[9Freedman9]

Hahaha, how the fuck can you just get accused like that? You must have let out a Shart in class. (Shit Fart)

[Mochachino]

It's a funny story actually, Was at high school. Sitting in english.. Next get a very sore stomach think i had food poisoning so asked if i could go to the toilet as really needed a shit badly, So i went to the pan took the biggest skitter of my life, then realised there was no toilet roll.. So wiped my arse with some Calvin Kleins and left them in the toilet full of shit. Went home to get changed early. Next i get a phone call from my mate saying aww i heard you shat yourself everyone at school knows. Worst accusation of my life.. never live that one down!

LMFAO i proper lolled at that haha

[Krys_23]

I know aye, Nah no farts in class involved, teacher wondered where i was because i went home to get a new pair of skants so she sent out a boy in my class to look for me and he found my shitty undies in the pan.. Not so good times, haha still find it funny even though probably people still think i done the dirty.

[9Freedman9]

Why didn't you just wear no undies man?

[Eldridge]

guy in my school shat himself during cross country running majour lols haha thenshat himself again in the changing rooms everywere, then tried wipping it all up with his gym kit but he just sortof smeaqrd it all over the floor, then the rest off us came in and 3 guys puked on the floor on top of the shit then the guy tried to put his gym kit (coverd in shit) bak in his bag and got shit all over his other school books lol

was known as tom turd for the rest of his 3 years in school!

[Krys_23]

guy in my school shat himself during cross country running majour lols haha thenshat himself again in the changing rooms everywere, then tried wipping it all up with his gym kit but he just sortof smeaqrd it all over the floor, then the rest off us came in and 3 guys puked on the floor on top of the shit then the guy tried to put his gym kit (coverd in shit) bak in his bag and got shit all over his other school books lol

was known as tom turd for the rest of his 3 years in school!

Aww man that is truly awful, Thought my story was bad LOL!

[Eldridge]

even managed to get shit on the wall fuck knows how

[Krys_23]

Well when i got that phonecall from my mate i was like ohh fuck never gonna live this down but i just laugh about it now. Just my luck there was no shit roll! Been waiting for this thread for years ;)

[Scattle]

Whilst at Seconday school we all knew this kid called dan and he was a bit special. One afternoon after school he was waiting for a bus but got caught short and next to the bus stop my friend sam lives, he went and asked to use the toilet, done what he needed to do and left to go back to the bus, next thing my friend same sees is shit Smeared up the wallpaper , bloody kid used his hand to wipe his arse as he had no toilet paper.

True story by the way haha. I've never laughed as much in my life.

[marc666]

always remember this one lad in school shit himself and it ran down is leg onto the floor. he was reminded about it for years and years after lol

[Saxomatic]

You must have let out a Shart in class. (Shit Fart)

Haha someone's been doing their homework on this !?

[kennysevenfold]

Oh course not :o

[Sophia_Bush]

guy in my school shat himself during cross country running majour lols haha thenshat himself again in the changing rooms everywere, then tried wipping it all up with his gym kit but he just sortof smeaqrd it all over the floor, then the rest off us came in and 3 guys puked on the floor on top of the shit then the guy tried to put his gym kit (coverd in shit) bak in his bag and got shit all over his other school books lol

was known as tom turd for the rest of his 3 years in school!
Whilst at Seconday school we all knew this kid called dan and he was a bit special. One afternoon after school he was waiting for a bus but got caught short and next to the bus stop my friend sam lives, he went and asked to use the toilet, done what he needed to do and left to go back to the bus, next thing my friend same sees is shit Smeared up the wallpaper , bloody kid used his hand to wipe his arse as he had no toilet paper.

True story by the way haha. I've never laughed as much in my life.

2 funniest things I have read today

[coleman258]

This is why i love sax-p the threads are so random, im laughing so much at this im crying, i cant believe some of this stuff actually happened.

[Krys_23]

A lot of shit goes on in the world ;)

[Eldridge]

shit happens

[Mochachino]

ive never shit myself, but i always feel like i need a shit real bad before sex. One day will be embarressing.

[Tontsy]

yes...
i necked a complete bottle of liquid laxative, one day for a laugh with my mates... driving around a few hours later, i let it rip in a public outdoor swimming pool, as it was...well in the street we were driving in at the time!

and again in severell places dotted around Plymouth that night!

[Krys_23]

ive never shit myself, but i always feel like i need a shit real bad before sex. One day will be embarressing.

Nervous and embarassed about a small weener? ;) haha.

[Mochachino]

Nervous and embarassed about a small weener? ;) haha.

Got it right now thinkin about it mate..

Worse thing is needing a shit when ur severly pissed, you think its actually coming out the emergency exit when it isnt. Last time i went in a skip :S

[Krys_23]

I heard from one of my mates that one of my other friends shat himself when he was drunk onetime. Quite a lot of people do piss or shit themselves when drunk.

[MARTYN19588]

ahahah serious lol's at this thread :clapping:

[Liamm]

i go in the woods if im out :y: couple of big leaves and im well away, done it a fair few times, cos if i need a shit, i NEED a shit, i cant keep it in or I'd probably die :L

[samfenna]

guy in my school shat himself during cross country running majour lols haha thenshat himself again in the changing rooms everywere, then tried wipping it all up with his gym kit but he just sortof smeaqrd it all over the floor, then the rest off us came in and 3 guys puked on the floor on top of the shit then the guy tried to put his gym kit (coverd in shit) bak in his bag and got shit all over his other school books lol

was known as tom turd for the rest of his 3 years in school!

oh my god, thats too funny, i cant stop laughing

[ad_77]

One of my old bosses (bout 6 - 7 years ago when I was a student) shit his pants in the drive through at KFC, he calmly collected his food, parked up, got out of the car went into the toilets there flushed his kegs down the loo and left.

He then came into the canteen at work, slammed down his bucket of chicken on the table, sat down and started tucking in to his food - after about 30 secs he says "Guess what lads, I shit my pants in the drive-thru" it didn't even phase him, then again he was a sick bastard!

He's now a General Manager at a well known computer store

[MARTYN19588]

i go in the woods if im out :y: couple of big leaves and im well away, done it a fair few times, cos if i need a shit, i NEED a shit, i cant keep it in or I'd probably die :L

i herd you blow up if you keep it in for to long :panic:

[Mochachino]

i go in the woods if im out :y: couple of big leaves and im well away, done it a fair few times, cos if i need a shit, i NEED a shit, i cant keep it in or I'd probably die :L

LMAO at using leafs to whipe ya arse haha

[Krys_23]

One of my old bosses (bout 6 - 7 years ago when I was a student) shit his pants in the drive through at KFC, he calmly collected his food, parked up, got out of the car went into the toilets there flushed his kegs down the loo and left.

He then came into the canteen at work, slammed down his bucket of chicken on the table, sat down and started tucking in to his food - after about 30 secs he says "Guess what lads, I shit my pants in the drive-thru" it didn't even phase him, then again he was a sick bastard!

He's now a General Manager at a well known computer store

Hahaha, These stories just get better.

[djmartin]

One of my old bosses (bout 6 - 7 years ago when I was a student) shit his pants in the drive through at KFC, he calmly collected his food, parked up, got out of the car went into the toilets there flushed his kegs down the loo and left.

He then came into the canteen at work, slammed down his bucket of chicken on the table, sat down and started tucking in to his food - after about 30 secs he says "Guess what lads, I shit my pants in the drive-thru" it didn't even phase him, then again he was a sick bastard!

He's now a General Manager at a well known computer store



LOLS!!!!!

[Sean_VTS]

Went out clubbing last year for my GFs bday, loads of us stayed at her bros flat in real early hours i heard someone get up but didnt think anything of it so i went back to sleep. Woke up in the morning to a sickening smell from the hallway, walked around to see my mate passed out on the floor, piss alova the wall unit and pure diarrhea all over the floor, some peoples shoes and he was covered in it. He still swears to this day that it wasnt him that did it and someone set him up. Even though ive been out with him loads and he somethimes pisses himself when hes pissed up lol

[AlexR]

This is a regular occurance for me.

Fortunately i enjoy licking the remains from my pants afterwards also!

[Sophia_Bush]

This is a regular occurance for me.

Fortunately i enjoy licking the remains from my pants afterwards also!
;):homme::P:drink:

[1-1dicky]

cant say i have!! lol

[Steve_90]

Never shat myself but wet farts always give me a little scare.
I remember a kid shit himself in junior school, he wouldn't admit it til the teacher spotted shit running down his legs.

[Harv]

This is a regular occurance for me.

Fortunately i enjoy licking the remains from my pants afterwards also!

Ahaaaaaaaha. FUNNY shit!!


I work in M&S and we used to have a very frequent customer.. An old lady probably around 85 years old that used to shuffle everywhere with one of them trike zimmer frame things. Anyhow, she eventually got caught on CCTV shitting down her leg then shaking it out under a counter of clothes. Facilities always used to get called to clean it up with the 'janitor' and shit used to be found by people everywhere. It was possibly the worst poo i've ever seen too, proper green baby diarrhea shit. Honestly it was everywhere, under nearly every counter..errrrrr!!

Anyway, said lady got caught and banned from the shop. Although now we have a 'phantom shitter' who leaves 'presents' in the ladies fitting rooms the dirty bastard. Who said women are cleaner than men eh?

[Viper]

just remembered i had a shit on a verge on my way home once.

was literally touching cloth. i was about 500ft from my house, and like hell could i wait!

right in front of a row of houses. lol

[Saxomatic]

One of my old bosses (bout 6 - 7 years ago when I was a student) shit his pants in the drive through at KFC, he calmly collected his food, parked up, got out of the car went into the toilets there flushed his kegs down the loo and left.

He then came into the canteen at work, slammed down his bucket of chicken on the table, sat down and started tucking in to his food - after about 30 secs he says "Guess what lads, I shit my pants in the drive-thru" it didn't even phase him, then again he was a sick bastard!

He's now a General Manager at a well known computer store

Who said promotion was shit.

Haha

[Azrael]

oh god, this thread is full of poo jokes :(

no explanation needed really... really needed a shit, sort of relaxed, and shat myself

LOL at being accused of it!

EPIC Viper... Sig worthy ;)

[Viper]

EPIC Viper... Sig worthy ;)

oh arse, thats going to be mentioned for a while isnt it. lol

[Saxo-SX]

i go in the woods if im out :y: couple of big leaves and im well away, done it a fair few times, cos if i need a shit, i NEED a shit, i cant keep it in or I'd probably die :L

Watch out for nettle leaves ;)

[jakeybam]

tears are rollin down my face with this one pure belter !! cant say ive ever done it myself lol

[ne_jam]

i remeber hearing a story about one of the lads, they had all been out on the town he dissapeeared to a cash point and never came back. few weeks later he told everybody that he let a sneeky fart and and followed threw, got a taxi and then got charged extra £30 for soiling the taxi to lmfao

[adam_baker]

I don't know if this counts, but i stayed at a mates house a few years back, he ate a can of beans and was then farting like crazy, i mean all the time, big and loud, after one big fart he says "Mate, i think i have just followed through." he disappears into the toilet, comes back and shows me these boxers with just hole beans in the bottom, he was pushing his farts out so hard that the beans skipped his whole digestive system and came out hole, was possibly one of the funniest things i have ever seen, i new beans made you fart but fuck me!

[johnlambert]

almost did actually!!
me and all my mates were hammered on the beach one day and i got the urge!!
unlucky for me the public toilets were at the other end of the beach!! was the fastest i ever ran!!
was a close call!!

[Mochachino]

I don't know if this counts, but i stayed at a mates house a few years back, he ate a can of beans and was then farting like crazy, i mean all the time, big and loud, after one big fart he says "Mate, i think i have just followed through." he disappears into the toilet, comes back and shows me these boxers with just hole beans in the bottom, he was pushing his farts out so hard that the beans skipped his whole digestive system and came out hole, was possibly one of the funniest things i have ever seen, i new beans made you fart but fuck me!

http://i50.tinypic.com/rr7apt.jpg

[adam_baker]

http://i50.tinypic.com/rr7apt.jpg

haha quality film :D

[Azrael]

oh arse, thats going to be mentioned for a while isnt it. lol

Nah, nobody will ever remember this thread :geek: I'M NEVER CHANGING MY SIG EVER AGAIN!

[Viper]

I don't know if this counts, but i stayed at a mates house a few years back, he ate a can of beans and was then farting like crazy, i mean all the time, big and loud, after one big fart he says "Mate, i think i have just followed through." he disappears into the toilet, comes back and shows me these boxers with just hole beans in the bottom, he was pushing his farts out so hard that the beans skipped his whole digestive system and came out hole, was possibly one of the funniest things i have ever seen, i new beans made you fart but fuck me!

Oh wow, your level of education astounds me

Nah, nobody will ever remember this thread :geek: I'M NEVER CHANGING MY SIG EVER AGAIN!

ooh, subtle white text :D

[adam_baker]

[QUOTE=Viper;3991907]Oh wow, your level of education astounds me



whats that all about?

[djmartin]

this thread is epic lol's 5:23am and im crying trying Not to laught loud haha!

there is another one I know of.
a Mate Barry (rip :(..) used to eat brown sauce and potatoes all the time. and he was renound for his huge farts in assembly to the extent the banned him from them LOLS! one time in a science lesson he bent over (like you do) to do is usual fart about 4 of us saw him getting ready to pop and we was like oh dear here we go, he let it rip but it was like nothing I have ever heard on this planet and I have never heard anything since like it! a long PZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ sound then a P P P P P like( a tractor engine) then a wet fart sound and the actual sound of the shit coming out of his arse.

he knew he had shit himself but because he did the fart on an angle he did not want to move haha! was either stand up straight and expect some shit to roll down your leg onto the floor OR gingerly sit back on your seat crushing the shit against your ass!

no one said a word Not even the teacher (Mr car) Barry slowly walked out the class room on a strange sort of I shit myself angle LOOOLS!

funnily enought he never had No knick name of shitbarry or out as we all was expecting him to shit himself one day LOL!

hand on heart that is a true story aswell!

[enthrone]

this thread is epic lol's 5:23am and im crying trying Not to laught loud haha!

there is another one I know of.
a Mate Barry (rip :(..) used to eat brown sauce and potatoes all the time. and he was renound for his huge farts in assembly to the extent the banned him from them LOLS! one time in a science lesson he bent over (like you do) to do is usual fart about 4 of us saw him getting ready to pop and we was like oh dear here we go, he let it rip but it was like nothing I have ever heard on this planet and I have never heard anything since like it! a long PZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ sound then a P P P P P like( a tractor engine) then a wet fart sound and the actual sound of the shit coming out of his arse.

he knew he had shit himself but because he did the fart on an angle he did not want to move haha! was either stand up straight and expect some shit to roll down your leg onto the floor OR gingerly sit back on your seat crushing the shit against your ass!

no one said a word Not even the teacher (Mr car) Barry slowly walked out the class room on a strange sort of I shit myself angle LOOOLS!

funnily enought he never had No knick name of shitbarry or out as we all was expecting him to shit himself one day LOL!

hand on heart that is a true story aswell!

Fucking lol almost crying at that.


We had a kid in my year who was a tad bit special.

Poor fucker shit himself while playing rugby in PE, he then tried to blame someone else for taking a shit in his shorts before he got changed for PE.
poor fucker.

[Viper]

Oh wow, your level of education astounds me



whats that all about?

The fact you think it would be possible do bypass the whole digestive system just by pushing a fart :wall:

[scot-ish]

Fucking lol almost crying at that.


We had a kid in my year who was a tad bit special.

Poor fucker shit himself while playing rugby in PE, he then tried to blame someone else for taking a shit in his shorts before he got changed for PE.
poor fucker.


haha, that is quality,

[-GG-]

this thread is epic lol's 5:23am and im crying trying Not to laught loud haha!

there is another one I know of.
a Mate Barry (rip :(..) used to eat brown sauce and potatoes all the time. and he was renound for his huge farts in assembly to the extent the banned him from them LOLS! one time in a science lesson he bent over (like you do) to do is usual fart about 4 of us saw him getting ready to pop and we was like oh dear here we go, he let it rip but it was like nothing I have ever heard on this planet and I have never heard anything since like it! a long PZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ sound then a P P P P P like( a tractor engine) then a wet fart sound and the actual sound of the shit coming out of his arse.

he knew he had shit himself but because he did the fart on an angle he did not want to move haha! was either stand up straight and expect some shit to roll down your leg onto the floor OR gingerly sit back on your seat crushing the shit against your ass!

no one said a word Not even the teacher (Mr car) Barry slowly walked out the class room on a strange sort of I shit myself angle LOOOLS!

funnily enought he never had No knick name of shitbarry or out as we all was expecting him to shit himself one day LOL!

hand on heart that is a true story aswell!

Ha ha :clapping: Thats amazing :fcuk:

[endlesstimes]

Do farts have lumps? if not then i definately just shit myself

[ricksimmonds]

in all honesty, i have shat myself around 3 times in public

[Caino]

tears rollin down my face with laughing at this thread.. getting some funny looks in work! what a way to pass this morning !!

[AlexR]

This thread stinks of bullshit...

[Liam_]

Someone shat all over my mate's staircase on new years eve a couple of years back. We all woke up in the morning with stinking hangovers and the stuff was literally smeared all over the 3 flights of stairs.

We all jokingly blamed a lad we nocked around with - he totally denied the whole thing. Didn't find out until late last year who it actually was, laughed so hard when I found out. We all keep dropping hints that we know it was him, but he never catches on. :D

[Sophia_Bush]

Lad I knew at uni was going at it 69in with his at the time shag buddy with him on top farted badly and speckled her face with microbes of poo.

Not a poo in public thing but funny anyway

[Claireeyy]

eeewww that's bad.^^

[W20TOM]

Lad I knew at uni was going at it 69in with his at the time shag buddy with him on top farted badly and speckled her face with microbes of poo.

Not a poo in public thing but funny anyway


That's vile but hilarious :clapping:

[D8N_LL]

i did in school when i was about 13/14. was doing p.e and really needed a poopie. ran back to the changing rooms which had been locked, so i ran back into the main building, half way i felt it start coming out so i grabbed the legs of my shorts and pulled them tight around my leg so none escaped and kept running. by the time i got to the toilet, my pants were full of poop, then i find theres no toilet paper. so i used the only last clean parts of my shitty boxers to wipe my bottom, left the evidence in the cubicle and went back to the leason. end of the lesson, sat on the floor listening to the teacher and one of my mates pointed out that my bollocks were dangling out of my shorts.. bad times!

[Eldridge]

i did in school when i was about 13/14. was doing p.e and really needed a poopie. ran back to the changing rooms which had been locked, so i ran back into the main building, half way i felt it start coming out so i grabbed the legs of my shorts and pulled them tight around my leg so none escaped and kept running. by the time i got to the toilet, my pants were full of poop, then i find theres no toilet paper. so i used the only last clean parts of my shitty boxers to wipe my bottom, left the evidence in the cubicle and went back to the leason. end of the lesson, sat on the floor listening to the teacher and one of my mates pointed out that my bollocks were dangling out of my shorts.. bad times!

lol can see it happening now haha

[adam_baker]

The fact you think it would be possible do bypass the whole digestive system just by pushing a fart :wall:

ok smart arse, i don't really mean bypass but some how not get digested, i think it was because of how hard he was pushing. :A:

[Phsyco_Paff]

LOL'S @ this thread.....

Went fishing one NIGHT mate had to take a dump so scampered off in some bushes 5 mins later he returns......

5 mins after that all i could smell was shit as i walked past my mate my headtorch shone on something i will never forget A GIANT TURD IN HIS HOOD.

Im like lol'z wtf ...... then i ask him....... john how did that turd get in your hood lol.......

He then jumps up call's me a liar then takes his overalls off and just stares at it lol.

[K17NEY]

got so drunk one night tha when i got home i sat on the bog for drunken shit,but was so wasted i didnt take my boxers off.Bet youve never done that!!

[LeeM]

couple of years ago one of my mates was on his moped, goin a fair pace and a car pulled out on him so he anchored on the brakes and narrowly missed the car. somehwere in the middle of all this he shit himself lol

[9Freedman9]

Wow, one of my threads has developed five pages lol. Anywho, time for my own shit story.


As I support Crystal Palace and attend there games regulalry, it's a good half hour drive from where I live, anyway, a couple years back when I was about 13-14 we had a tuesday night game, watched the game in perfect harmony and left the ground, as we were walking out I got 'the urge' to shit, and when I get said 'urge' it generally means i've got about five minutes.

I somehow managed to keep it in untill we got to about ten minutes away from my house, I had all the common symptoms, cold sweats, hot flushes etc etc, anyway, ten minutes away from home I spot one of those public shit houses on the corner. We pulled over in my old mans van and to my delight he gave me a shiney 50p coin to do my buisness in, so I run to the loo, to my sheer horror and find it's out of service, I could have cried my fucking eyes out!

So in the back of the van I jump in, bog roll in one hand, Sainsbury's bag hanging round my arse, so I piss and shit pretty much what can only be described as potatoe water, god it felt so good, but it's started leaking all over the wooden floor of the van, the stench was in there for weeks!

Anyways, I finished my buisness and left the bag of 'evidence' at the side of the road, as we pull away I see a boy of my age run up and kick it. God only knows what happend to him.

[Sophia_Bush]

Wow, one of my threads has developed five pages lol. Anywho, time for my own shit story.


As I support Crystal Palace and attend there games regulalry, it's a good half hour drive from where I live, anyway, a couple years back when I was about 13-14 we had a tuesday night game, watched the game in perfect harmony and left the ground, as we were walking out I got 'the urge' to shit, and when I get said 'urge' it generally means i've got about five minutes.

I somehow managed to keep it in untill we got to about ten minutes away from my house, I had all the common symptoms, cold sweats, hot flushes etc etc, anyway, ten minutes away from home I spot one of those public shit houses on the corner. We pulled over in my old mans van and to my delight he gave me a shiney 50p coin to do my buisness in, so I run to the loo, to my sheer horror and find it's out of service, I could have cried my fucking eyes out!

So in the back of the van I jump in, bog roll in one hand, Sainsbury's bag hanging round my arse, so I piss and shit pretty much what can only be described as potatoe water, god it felt so good, but it's started leaking all over the wooden floor of the van, the stench was in there for weeks!

Anyways, I finished my buisness and left the bag of 'evidence' at the side of the road, as we pull away I see a boy of my age run up and kick it. God only knows what happend to him.


hahahaha potato water shit!!!!! my god I just spat my kfc at the person next to me

[KINGVTS]

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[MARTYN19588]

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shit post

[KINGVTS]

shit post


it was a joke, will the saxo clique be along to abuse me in a moment?

[Borat]

I like how people are saying "I've only ever done it once in public", is that opposed to shitting yourself every other day at home!?

Once when I was about 8 or 9 I was caught out whilst playing at this dyke near my house so I did my business into a rabbit hole and wiped my arse on a dock leaf!

In school people used to flush full bog rolls to flood the toilets so we never had rolls left in there we had to go to the office to ask for them. When feeling the offending nudge in I.T. I picked up a few of the prints and ran to the loo, when wiping I realised I was using pictures of The Rock and The Undertaker!!

[Jaytee]

Thread is win.

My own personal story is i went on a night out when i was about 17 or summat, got absoloutly battered smashing shots of whiskey and sambuca. Anyway apparently my sis picked me up and i vomed in the car, anyway i got home and got put in my bed. Next thing i know its 9 o clock in morning and my mums bollocking me to get up because i had, had a shit slap bang in middle of my bedroom. The smell was absoloutly hanging and it was a nice black shit. Was disgusting.

Cleaning up shit is not a hangover cure it will fuck you up. Only done it once and it will be the only time. I hope. Felt like a right fucking tramp hahahaha.

[enthrone]

got so drunk one night tha when i got home i sat on the bog for drunken shit,but was so wasted i didnt take my boxers off.Bet youve never done that!!

hahahaha

[Carlvtr88]

when we was younger we sent my mate over a wall to get our foot ball back, When he got up he was like arr i need a shit man.. i cant jump down ill shit myself... Now i thought he was joking but the guy jumped off the wall, Landed a bit sharply and cracked one off,,, needless to say the kid shat himself silly and ran off down the road., Tried to tell us his dinner was ready. Lmao funny times !

[VTomR]

Wow, one of my threads has developed five pages lol. Anywho, time for my own shit story.


As I support Crystal Palace and attend there games regulalry, it's a good half hour drive from where I live, anyway, a couple years back when I was about 13-14 we had a tuesday night game, watched the game in perfect harmony and left the ground, as we were walking out I got 'the urge' to shit, and when I get said 'urge' it generally means i've got about five minutes.

I somehow managed to keep it in untill we got to about ten minutes away from my house, I had all the common symptoms, cold sweats, hot flushes etc etc, anyway, ten minutes away from home I spot one of those public shit houses on the corner. We pulled over in my old mans van and to my delight he gave me a shiney 50p coin to do my buisness in, so I run to the loo, to my sheer horror and find it's out of service, I could have cried my fucking eyes out!

So in the back of the van I jump in, bog roll in one hand, Sainsbury's bag hanging round my arse, so I piss and shit pretty much what can only be described as potatoe water, god it felt so good, but it's started leaking all over the wooden floor of the van, the stench was in there for weeks!

Anyways, I finished my buisness and left the bag of 'evidence' at the side of the road, as we pull away I see a boy of my age run up and kick it. God only knows what happend to him.


hahaha this is too funny!

One of my mates once told me he saw a girl shit herself on a dancefloor in a club. Went to the toilet, to clean up then came back dancing!
Dont know how true that is, bit of a random thing to lie about though lol.

[furiomike]

A mate of mine was playing rugby and could smell shit. Others could smell it too so they were looking around for possible dog shit or whatever. He then realised what he thought was mud down his face and shirt was in fact shit, and that during the last scrum when he had his shoulder pressed against a team mates ass/thigh, said team mate had shat all over my mate and others in the back row.

[vtrmann]

think everyone must no someone thats followed through or has touched cloth or the odd turtles head poppin out haha. i no someone shat therself in a pub haha nearly pissed myself laughin

[Sparco_Tom]

The quality of threads on this site is shocking now. Its just full of silly threads made by 16/17 years olds thinking they are funny. Is it just me?

[Sean_VTS]

The quality of threads on this site is shocking now. Its just full of silly threads made by 16/17 years olds thinking they are funny. Is it just me?

Oh damn i though this 1 was quite amusing Tom, possibly because i had a story about a friend which i found amusing lol

[vtrmann]

sounds like you shit yaself aswell lol only jokin. i not been on site long thought it would be about cars not a random chatroom.

[de4n0]

hahaha no.

[vtrmann]

it was amusin had me laughin anyway

[Sparco_Tom]

I spend my time giving out advice to people who need it and other people make threads about shitting yourself and whats your favourite shoe lace or the best way to open your bedroom door when handcuffed or something stupid.
I waste my time and get told that my advice is wrong etc. Or im talking shit etc. Just winds me up

[Fastlad]

LOL'S @ this thread.....

Went fishing one NIGHT mate had to take a dump so scampered off in some bushes 5 mins later he returns......

5 mins after that all i could smell was shit as i walked past my mate my headtorch shone on something i will never forget A GIANT TURD IN HIS HOOD.

Im like lol'z wtf ...... then i ask him....... john how did that turd get in your hood lol.......

He then jumps up call's me a liar then takes his overalls off and just stares at it lol.

Quality!!! H HaHarrrrrr!!

[Fastlad]

it was a joke, will the saxo clique be along to abuse me in a moment?


The clique - No

Still a SHITE post???

[Azrael]

this thread is epic lol's 5:23am and im crying trying Not to laught loud haha!

there is another one I know of.
a Mate Barry (rip :(..) used to eat brown sauce and potatoes all the time. and he was renound for his huge farts in assembly to the extent the banned him from them LOLS! one time in a science lesson he bent over (like you do) to do is usual fart about 4 of us saw him getting ready to pop and we was like oh dear here we go, he let it rip but it was like nothing I have ever heard on this planet and I have never heard anything since like it! a long PZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ sound then a P P P P P like( a tractor engine) then a wet fart sound and the actual sound of the shit coming out of his arse.

he knew he had shit himself but because he did the fart on an angle he did not want to move haha! was either stand up straight and expect some shit to roll down your leg onto the floor OR gingerly sit back on your seat crushing the shit against your ass!

no one said a word Not even the teacher (Mr car) Barry slowly walked out the class room on a strange sort of I shit myself angle LOOOLS!

funnily enought he never had No knick name of shitbarry or out as we all was expecting him to shit himself one day LOL!

hand on heart that is a true story aswell!

Fucking lol almost crying at that.


We had a kid in my year who was a tad bit special.

Poor fucker shit himself while playing rugby in PE, he then tried to blame someone else for taking a shit in his shorts before he got changed for PE.
poor fucker.

These are two of the most epic stories I've ever heard -even got my mum & sis to have a read through. Thanks 4 sharing :y:

[jonc]

Ha great storys i actually have one from Monday night were my mate got caught short.

Me and two mates went out to this all you can eat curry place. So were half way into eating going up for 2nd plate full and my mates notices they have vindaloo and 'Hot curry Sauce' and fills his plate with it. Hes showing off to me and my other mate saying oh its not even fucking hot ect and eats 2/3s of it. anyway whilst were eating dessert my mate complains of his stomach and goes to the toilet.
5 Minutes later he comes back saying all he could do was fart so hes still denying it was the curry. So we pay the bill and shoot, we walk to the carpark(3minute walk) and he tells us to hurry up as he needs a shit. So 2mintues later im halfway to his house and hes fidgeting around in the back of my car and shouts to me to go up this country lane so he can shit in a bush.
So i'm driving quite fast as i don't want the fucker to shit all over my backseats thers nowhere to stop on this country lane so i pull up on the straight with the hazard lights on and he bolts it out whacks his jeans down and does the longest diarrheay shit ever like 2 footaway from my car. It's also fucking freezeing about to snow and i walk around the car to see if hes ok and im greeted by the most disgusting smell it instantly made me gag.
Me and my other mate were in fucking tears, cars were driving by slowly to see if i was alright to see my mate in a bush shittin his guts out ahahaah.

He wipes his ass on a load of leaves and shit around him and i drop him off he must of done it well as i didn't smell shit in my car after.

[grebidge]

nope i havnt

[Eldridge]

Ha great storys i actually have one from Monday night were my mate got caught short.

Me and two mates went out to this all you can eat curry place. So were half way into eating going up for 2nd plate full and my mates notices they have vindaloo and 'Hot curry Sauce' and fills his plate with it. Hes showing off to me and my other mate saying oh its not even fucking hot ect and eats 2/3s of it. anyway whilst were eating dessert my mate complains of his stomach and goes to the toilet.
5 Minutes later he comes back saying all he could do was fart so hes still denying it was the curry. So we pay the bill and shoot, we walk to the carpark(3minute walk) and he tells us to hurry up as he needs a shit. So 2mintues later im halfway to his house and hes fidgeting around in the back of my car and shouts to me to go up this country lane so he can shit in a bush.
So i'm driving quite fast as i don't want the fucker to shit all over my backseats thers nowhere to stop on this country lane so i pull up on the straight with the hazard lights on and he bolts it out whacks his jeans down and does the longest diarrheay shit ever like 2 footaway from my car. It's also fucking freezeing about to snow and i walk around the car to see if hes ok and im greeted by the most disgusting smell it instantly made me gag.
Me and my other mate were in fucking tears, cars were driving by slowly to see if i was alright to see my mate in a bush shittin his guts out ahahaah.

He wipes his ass on a load of leaves and shit around him and i drop him off he must of done it well as i didn't smell shit in my car after.

dont eat brown snow!!

[9Freedman9]

I spend my time giving out advice to people who need it and other people make threads about shitting yourself and whats your favourite shoe lace or the best way to open your bedroom door when handcuffed or something stupid.
I waste my time and get told that my advice is wrong etc. Or im talking shit etc. Just winds me up

:homme:

Sorry I forgot that there was a rule about what threads you can post. Jesus it's General chat? Why not get a Chit Chat GOLD thread up where you can chat other bilge?

[Sparco_Tom]

Its just like being back at school and listening to the year 7 kids when your just leaving

[9Freedman9]

Its just like being back at school and listening to the year 7 kids when your just leaving


Well what would you like to talk about Thomas?

[Sparco_Tom]

its ok, im going back to the how old are you thread

[bfc2dabone]

ive not, but a mate of mine took a right good kick in the nuts after a brentford game by some birmingham fans a few years back and his guts let go big time lol
we had the windows down in the cab on the way home and it still stunk, think the cab driver had a bit of cleaning up after we got out
think this is where the saying kick the shit outa sumone come from

[CaldzieVTR]

cant really think of a time i have luckly, but witnessed a lad fart while laughing and the laughing stopped he jilt stright and staired at me and i knew he knew i knew he'd poped out a few maltesers. dirty man

he wondered off like john wayne never seen him since tho lol

this was back in the day at jd sports haha

[joe333]

hahah WTF.....

[Borat]

A workmate told me he was in Greggs once stood behind two old gypsy women, one of them stood with her legs open and pissed on the floor whilst still talking to the girl who was serving her! Cheek of it, the same girl then went round with the mop and bucket when the old scrubbers left! HA!

[9Freedman9]

Fuck cleaning it up, then again some stupid boy at my work cleaned the bogs after someone shat everywhere. Must be something about Sainsburys that makes people need a pony.

[Sophia_Bush]

LOL @ the gypo one

to be fair only time I've been close i've always managed to get to a bog or at least a plant pot.

But also that lad who said mate shate in his hood thank you been laughing since :D

[TipTopTom]

Fkin lol tbh.

Priceless :D

[Carlvtr88]

Call it silly and immature but this has to be one of the Funniest threads lol.... Ive cryed with laughter at that story with the guy shitting himself... the way the guy described it " his fart sounded like a tractor engine P P P P " that made me loose it lmao I nearly shat myself laughing.... And also the one where they guy had to get out the car and shit in a bush after the Curry... proper funny stuff man. Made my day after work LMAO !

[megan94]

the first story is classic! no cant say i ever have!