If a Girl Your...

[Mochachino]

trying to get with or in a relationship with tells you she cant or dosent want kids at all...would it effect anything? Would you consider adoption aswell if she cant have kids.

For me, at the moment i wouldnt really mind if she didnt want to have kids. But i guess when am older i obviously will.

If they couldnt then, well science makes it possible for test tube babies right? So no need to worry, unless it costs fuck loads.

Either way it wouldnt effect anything, id still love her or want to be with her.

Whats your thoughts?

You dont have to have deep feelings and love for the girl, it could be one your wanting a relationship with, but not yet got love for her? If you get that.

[Matt]

If she's the one then I would carry on the relationship, maybe one day she will change her mind.

If she can't have kids, would you be up for adoption?

[ben_glen]

tbh, i dont want kids, but i like the idea of adopting and giving someone a second shot at life... just my 2 pence

[Mochachino]

If she's the one then I would carry on the relationship, maybe one day she will change her mind.

If she can't have kids, would you be up for adoption?

Im gonna add the later into the first post actually.

[Matt]

tbh, i dont want kids, but i like the idea of adopting and giving someone a second shot at life... just my 2 pence

Why don't you want kids? All you've got to do is jizz?

[thenice]

IVF is an option

[ben_glen]

lol after being 1, i know how much of a pain in the arse they are :p

[Mark51]

If my girlfriend couldn't have kids i would be gutted and she would be the same if it was me that couldn't have kids. I think if both people in a good relationship want kids and one or both of them can't have kids then this is devestating but there are other options as mentioned above.
However, the difference in not been able to and not wanting are quite big imo.
If your partner didn't want kids but you did how would you manage? would you just give in? split up?
I know a couple and the girl really want kids but her boyfriend doesnt, shes gutted when people talk about kids but she sees it that it would be alot of time wasted on building a relationship to end it because they have been together for 7 years. Hard decision imo.

[LeeM]

im 23, i dont think i want kids tbh. if i met a girl who i thought i was meant to be with id focus more on her than kids. if i changed my mind in future and it turned out one of us was unable to have kids id be more than happy adopt, but i think id be more inclined to foster

[Tommo87]

I can't wait to have kids and my mrs is the same, we're just waiting to be more financially stable then kids will be on the way.

If one of us couldn't have kids it'd be devastating but we'd work around it.

[Chr15]

kids?

gtfo.

[Bickerton]

Personal preference.

If you really really want your own kids it could be an issue, but if you aren't fussed about kids or could/would happily adopt some it's not an issue atall

[Mochachino]

Im not sure about adopting. This could sound harsh..

I dont know how it works either so i get you get like a trial with each kid?

I just feel like i couldnt adopt though and love a child that isnt mine sorta thing, same as being with a girl that already has kids imo. BUT i havnt been in that situation, so it could be different, thts what i pressume though.

[EwynSaxo]

personal i wouldnt mind im not to fussed on the young uns
but when im a bit older would probs bother me then :\

[Rach125]

i dont want kids, im too selfish, i enjoy just going out somewhere and buying something and not have to think, have i got enough money to feed the kids etc, maybe this will all change in future years but i doubt it

[Bowey]

i dont like kids, already told the mrs i dont want them but people change there minds when there older i suppose

[kevhoust]

I wouldnt mind kids when im a bit older but ive got to much nonsense in my head atm and struggle to look after myself sometimes.

[hellovts]

iv got a kid on the way with the ex at 20...

lovely...

[bullit]

im past the settling down period lol

[adamm]

tbh i wouldnt want a kid if it wasnt mine. so adoption and tht would be out the window but im 19 so who knows it cud change if i couldnt have a kid

[vtrsarah]

Well ive been with my fella 5 years and neither of us have any intrest in children and i have told him i dont want too have any ever but if he decided he wanted them my reply would be bog off i hate women being seen has baby making machines

[Bickerton]

i hate women being seen has baby making machines

Well, they kinda are? You do know babies aren't really found under the gooseberry bush?

[vtrsarah]

Well, they kinda are? You do know babies aren't really found under the gooseberry bush?

No were not ffs well i defo am. not fact!

[Viper]

Well ive been with my fella 5 years and neither of us have any intrest in children and i have told him i dont want too have any ever but if he decided he wanted them my reply would be bog off i hate women being seen has baby making machines

nice girlfriend..

dont care if your lad wants kids. lol

and women are baby making machines....

you have somewhere for them to grow, somewhere for them to come out of and somewhere for them to feed.

think about it....

[vtrsarah]

I am a nice girlfriend and im not gonna pop 1 out just cos he wants one forget that

[Viper]

so you going to let him go to another lass for one? seems fair to me.

[vtrsarah]

Yes viper i would no point him being with someone who wants. Something completly differant out of life luckily i dont have this problem because he agree's with me :)

[Viper]

fair enough

still a baby making machine though ;)

[Giraffe]

Yeah I think there is a massive difference in wanting kids with your partner to start a family etc, and seeing lasses as baby-making machines...

On topic, I have a mate who I worked with, who told his wife that if she still didn't want kids by the age of 30, he was going to leave, because he really wanted kids and she didn't. Anyway, at 30, he left her, and a few months later was with someone else and she fell pregnant almost straight away, I thought it was a bit bang out, but I think kids is a massive issue in life, and if you don't share a common ground on what you want, then you need to get out. You seriously don't want to look back at life and regret not doing something as big as that if you have the chance.

Of course, if one of you can't have kids, then it might be something you can work through... I think there is a massive difference in not wanting and being unable to have.

[vtrsarah]

fair enough

still a baby making machine though ;)

:-o bugger off lol

[Viper]

never!

[Matt]

It's all personal preference at the end of the day. Either you do or don't.

But I think carrying a baby for one year, will give you 50+ years of good memories.

[vtrsarah]

It's all personal preference at the end of the day. Either you do or don't.

But I think carrying a baby for one year, will give you 50+ years of good memories.

1 year!

[Matt]

1 year!

Well like around a year, as soon as you drop Jimmy out you don't go back to normal straight away.

[amy-louise]

10months so yeah nearly a year hehe

[vtrsarah]

Well like around a year, as soon as you drop Jimmy out you don't go back to normal straight away.

Lol no you dont ;)

[vtcarl]

im 36 and never want kids, never been bothered by them. but never wanted to get married either, hence the reason me being single. oh well cant be all bad, got my own home and my saxo. oh and family and mates.

[vtrsarah]

im 36 and never want kids, never been bothered by them. but never wanted to get married either, hence the reason me being single. oh well cant be all bad, got my own home and my saxo. oh and family and mates.

Lol the male version of me :)

[vtcarl]

Lol the male version of me :)

lol. always wondered if my double was out there.;)

[Stu750]

Im 27 have my older mate settling down and having kids an fair play to them if thats what they want

if im honest then ive never thought about it , so much more i want to achieve in my life so not ready for all that commitment

as to being with a girl that didnt want them, then maybe right now itwouldnt bother me , as i got older who knows

if the girlie in question couldnt and i loved her of course id look into ever available option , surely thats the least that you could do?

[stevie_m]

I can understand if a woman can't have children, I understand the pain of that.

But a woman who doesn't want kids ... I'd walk away.

Why do you think we are born into the this world for ?

[vtrsarah]

I can understand if a woman can't have children, I understand the pain of that.

But a woman who doesn't want kids ... I'd walk away.

Why do you think we are born into the this world for ?

So what your saying is women should have kids regardless of how they feel i never want any so what i should just go jump of a roof

[Leigh83]

I can honestly say it wouldn't bother me at all. If i realy wanted to be with or love someone i would just accept it. You have to be grateful for what you have not what you havn't.

[sparky771]

I'm 18 i was going out with a 20 year old who had a lil lad only 14 months was always abit akward so i don't think id like to adopt cause it wouldn't me my skin n blood so to speak....... (only lasted a couple of weeks her Ex who was the dad was a right wanker and i found out she was still shacking up with him so we ended quite happy about it too too early to get involved with another mans kid!!)

but i would like one or two when im older like 35/40 and only if i can afford to give them a good life :)

[amy-louise]

If i realy wanted to be with or love someone i would just accept it. You have to be grateful for what you have not what you havn't.

this is very true!!

[kristel10589]

...............................................

[vtrsarah]

you get into a relationship to be with someone, not just to have kids.
If kids is more important then you shouldn't be in that relationship.

+1 too that

[canaryvtr]

+1 too that

+2 thats a really good point!

[amy-louise]

if you love someone it should not matter if they can or cant have kids or do or dont want them. end of day there is more to life than this, i no it wouldnt matter to me, you fall in love with the person not whether they can have kids or not. if life is about having kids then what about people who cant have kids?? are they to just kill themselfs because there is not point in them being alive? its not there fault they cant this doesnt make them less important.

[stevie_m]

So what your saying is women should have kids regardless of how they feel i never want any so what i should just go jump of a roof

it's your life and your choice,

But answer me this ... Are we brought into this world to slog our guts out then die ? Everything in this world is meant to reproduce.

[amy-louise]

it's your life and your choice,

But answer me this ... Are we brought into this world to slog our guts out then die ? Everything in this world is meant to reproduce.

thats a load of bull!!!! if people dont want kids thats there choice, and people who cant have kids aint there fault. there is more to life than kids

[vtrsarah]

[QUOTE=stevie_m;4136853]it's your life and your choice,

But answer me this ... Are we brought into this world to slog our guts out then die ? Everything in this world is meant to reproduce.

No were here too live our lives the way WE want too so if you dont pop ome out does that mean your a failure because you havent done what your meant too?

[canaryvtr]

Yes there are saxos and men :P lol yeah get what your both saying its a tough one!

[stevie_m]

thats a load of bull!!!! if people dont want kids thats there choice, and people who cant have kids aint there fault. there is more to life than kids

Read my statement again... I said it was her life and her choice

I really feel for women who can't have children and then you see social services take them off junkies and alcoholics (most of them breed like rabbits)

More to life than kids ... Yes but this isn't the debate.

[amy-louise]

so if everything in the world is meant to reproduce what you going to say to lads and lasses that want kids but cant have them?

[stevie_m]

Have you got a screw loose or something, or do you not read posts..:

before you get on your soapbox read my posts !

I have family members and close friends who have tried every way possible to conceive a child. I know the hurt pain and torture it can be for them to see their sister, brother, friends to have children yet they have to hide the torment which happens inside.

Oh and I also know the pain and suffering of your own partner having a misscarriage ... Twice. So don't even go there. We found out that she had misscarried on Tuesday after a three week wait.

[vtrsarah]

Well stevie m we may have gone off topic but if you make a statement like you did you gotta. Expect a reply

[stevie_m]

It wasn't to you Sarah. It was to Amy-louise. She clearly hasn't read my posts and has jumped in feet first.

I haven't changed or edited my posts apart from the one above because if someone even tried to talk about misscarriage or abortions.

[vtrsarah]

It wasn't to you Sarah. It was to Amy-louise. She clearly hasn't read my posts and has jumped in feet first.

I haven't changed or edited my posts apart from the one above because if someone even tried to talk about misscarriage or abortions.

Oh right my apologies :) and no one had better talk about misscariage i agree with you on that

[amy-louise]

who is talking about misscariages like? i have said nothing about that and wasnt going to never even entered my head

[Gabbastard]

No kids is the way forward

[stevie_m]

Anyway...

I knew I loved my wife from about the fifth date. But when I watched her carry our son for those 9 month and then give birth to a beautiful baby boy. I knew from that very minute I would devote the rest of my life to make her happy.

Having a child is the biggest responsibility anyone can have in their life and it should t be taken lightly.

[Meto]

Anyway...

I knew I loved my wife from about the fifth date. But when I watched her carry our son for those 9 month and then give birth to a beautiful baby boy. I knew from that very minute I would devote the rest of my life to make her happy.

Having a child is the biggest responsibility anyone can have in their life and it should t be taken lightly.

I can see where you are coming from about being meant to reproduce. Thats why men and women have different things between thier legs in all honesty lol.

Personally I want kids later in life with the right girl, brings you closer together because you have produced another life. And you can see you and your partners features/ characteristics in your kids etc.

Woah, this is way too deep for a Saturday night!:zainy:

[auds]

Anyway...

I knew I loved my wife from about the fifth date. But when I watched her carry our son for those 9 month and then give birth to a beautiful baby boy. I knew from that very minute I would devote the rest of my life to make her happy.

Having a child is the biggest responsibility anyone can have in their life and it should t be taken lightly.


Totally agree with you there mate, and am really pleased for you, sounds like you've found your Mrs Right :y: bless, sweet :)
And sorry to hear about your recent losses, I understand exactly how she and you must feel...

[vtrsarah]

Lol it sure is meto

[stevie_m]

Yeah I snapped her up as soon as I could.

Life has it's ups and downs, just gotta be there for each other when they happen.

[auds]

Yeah I snapped her up as soon as I could.

Life has it's ups and downs, just gotta be there for each other when they happen.

This is very true, well I hope there's more ups than downs for you both mate :y:

[willo-1]

id be gutted

[Cammy]

Me personally want a baby girl but only once i'm over 22-25

my gf's mum want her to have kids within the next 4 years "before mum passes" lol mini-me's running about :O

her mum had problems getting pregnant, but hopefully she won't , took her parents 15 years to have 2 kids

if not test tube baby, or the insertion thing , or adoption :)