Shittin outside your house..

[Mochachino]

Seen this on another forum, thought it would be entertaining on here:

i refuse to poo ne where other than my house dnt care how bad my bum hurts i hold it in until i get home i have only ever pooed in other toilets on holiday is this normal?

do u man shit up no matter where u are or hold fire till u reach home?

n/h added even though man is a rasta n u man no wha gwarn couple funny man lurking who will change up what mans saying smh

looool so true, also this made me laugh, talking bout public toilets:

yeah but them 1s where the guy comes in thinks no one is around and makes bare noise fml



il wait til i hear the door go before leaving its not about looking man in the eye when uv been for a shit


so ye, i dont shit outside the house lol, ive got standards haha, my mate h can do it anywhere like up a tree in a bush in a car anywhere he wants lol

What are poeples opinions?

[SaintNick89]

My house mate sounds just like your mate H.

My house mate prides himself on the stench he creates when he has a shit. He loves going in the pub toilet having a shit and seeing peoples reactions when they come out. Its rank :ill:

Luckily im moving out in 6 days so wont have to put up with it much more! lol

[johnlambert]

haha!!
i can shit most anywhere...
shat on the beach last year....

we were all drinking for most of the day and i was pretty well gone at this stage...
so as nature calls i had to go. the beach toilets were a few mins away,so i began to sprint...not easy when drunk i may add...
one hand on my arse and the other hand on my beer...
finished the beer somehow and kept running...
almost shat myself..
jumped the wall and was about to go inside the bathroom and it was locked...
BOLLOX..
so using my quick witts i jumped the wall back onto the beach,dropped trou and let loose...

[jeffchiz]

i dont like doing it but i will go for a shit in other peoples/public toilets, i just try and be as quiet and fast as possible lol but im not that much of a freak ill only do it in my house lol ;)

[Tom_Crx]

LOL i thought from the title you were actually locked out or something and had a shit outside your house

[jeffchiz]

LOL i thought from the title you were actually locked out or something and had a shit outside your house

yea i thought that too lol

[LeeM]

ill shit anywhere. im the guy who rips out the loudest fart i can in public and waft the smell at my mates laughing like a mad man

[Aly]

This is just silly not trying to put anyone down who doesn't feel this way.
What else were public toilets created for lol.

Once went to a pub with my uncle had something to eat etc, took a shit to the point where a guy in loo went that was pretty impressive.

Guess I'm not sensitive to that kinda thing.

[rushy_23]

LOL! Reasons I can shit anywhere but home are:
- I cant style the "I've just had a shit walk" when returning from the bog
- worrying somebody will smell my poo and comment (something on the lines of "PPPPPPPPPPPPPPUFFFFFFFF" or "you smelly bastard" would litterally break my soul in two)
- fear that toilet paper will run out, no way Im getting off a toilet with chocolate spread still on my bumhole
- fear of the toilet flush not working, AKA somebody seeing your artwork once your done
- I need lubrication/water when I have a dump to soften the toilet paper, public toilets dont allow that!

The list is endless! No matter the odds, you hold it till your back in a safe location, "home"!

[Giraffe]

The fact that people generally piss all over the seats puts me off, but I agree with all of Rushy's comments, especially the first one, and minus the lubricating of the toilet roll, don't need to do that!

[sam2kk8]

My house
my girls house if im desperate
or if i definatley have to use a public 1 ill make sure theres toliet paper on the seat before i sit on it, fuck having another mans ass sweat touching yours.

[rushy_23]

I cant deal with rough toilet paper lol.

[Viper]

LOL! Reasons I can shit anywhere but home are:
- I cant style the "I've just had a shit walk" when returning from the bog
- worrying somebody will smell my poo and comment (something on the lines of "PPPPPPPPPPPPPPUFFFFFFFF" or "you smelly bastard" would litterally break my soul in two)
- fear that toilet paper will run out, no way Im getting off a toilet with chocolate spread still on my bumhole
- fear of the toilet flush not working, AKA somebody seeing your artwork once your done
- I need lubrication/water when I have a dump to soften the toilet paper, public toilets dont allow that!

The list is endless! No matter the odds, you hold it till your back in a safe location, "home"!

you lube up your loo roll? LOL strange lad rushy...

i dont mind having a shit out of home, just as long as the loos are decent.

Had to have a massive brown water style shit in a club once. Toilet door wouldnt lock and the loo didnt have a seat. was an experience to tell the grandkids...

[tweedie]

ill shit anywhere. im the guy who rips out the loudest fart i can in public and waft the smell at my mates laughing like a mad man

I can vouch for that. I've been on the recieving end of lees stenches many of times

[rushy_23]

you lube up your loo roll? LOL strange lad rushy...

i dont mind having a shit out of home, just as long as the loos are decent.

Had to have a massive brown water style shit in a club once. Toilet door wouldnt lock and the loo didnt have a seat. was an experience to tell the grandkids...

Maybe lube was the wrong word. "Soften" the tissue with water. I used to only shit at work after 5:30PM (worked shifts so always a late finish).

I used to buy a bottle of volvic or whatever just to take in with me to wet the toilet paper.


Obviously I didnt drink the left over :drink:


Everyone at work knew I'd been for a big dirty shit cause Id be doing "the walk". But it was cool as the managers/permy's had gone by then.

[nicole_]

Maybe lube was the wrong word. "Soften" the tissue with water. I used to only shit at work after 5:30PM (worked shifts so always a late finish).

I used to buy a bottle of volvic or whatever just to take in with me to wet the toilet paper.


Obviously I didnt drink the left over :drink:


Everyone at work knew I'd been for a big dirty shit cause Id be doing "the walk". But it was cool as the managers/permy's had gone by then.

how strange aha
cant you jusy buy baby wipes?
i thought toilet roll fell apart when it was wet lol

[Viper]

come on nicole, tell us all how you poo

[rushy_23]

There is an art to it lol.

Ahh I'm never ever ever using baby wipes again in my life. I clogged the plumbing up by flushing them in our new house.

Fatal mistake, which I have learned from the hard way.

[Caino]

how strange aha
cant you jusy buy baby wipes?
i thought toilet roll fell apart when it was wet lol

what i was thinking !! chocolate finger to go with your brew

has anyone seen I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell
Oh my lord one of the funniest scenes in a film ive seen !! you will know what im talking about if soo

[Viper]

There is an art to it lol.

Ahh I'm never ever ever using baby wipes again in my life. I clogged the plumbing up by flushing them in our new house.

Fatal mistake, which I have learned from the hard way.

a lass that came to our flat at uni went to wipe with a baby wipe. Joke was on her... it was a bathroom bleach wipe :D:D:D

[Mochachino]

LOL! Reasons I can shit anywhere but home are:
- I cant style the "I've just had a shit walk" when returning from the bog
- worrying somebody will smell my poo and comment (something on the lines of "PPPPPPPPPPPPPPUFFFFFFFF" or "you smelly bastard" would litterally break my soul in two)
- fear that toilet paper will run out, no way Im getting off a toilet with chocolate spread still on my bumhole
- fear of the toilet flush not working, AKA somebody seeing your artwork once your done
- I need lubrication/water when I have a dump to soften the toilet paper, public toilets dont allow that!

The list is endless! No matter the odds, you hold it till your back in a safe location, "home"!

Rushy knows the rules haha

My house
my girls house if im desperate
or if i definatley have to use a public 1 ill make sure theres toliet paper on the seat before i sit on it, fuck having another mans ass sweat touching yours.

lol few sheets in the water bit thing aswell, got to reduce the flop sound lol

I rmember at school once there was this chav boy, and he took his own toilet paper lol, but once he put too much in the toilet, and the toilet overflowed, shit spillin everywhere. He just stood back n watched with a cheaky grin like he did it for his own amusement lol

I was sick tho instead, im to swqueezy lol

[Finchowned]

Haha I'm the same. Will only crap at my own house/parents. Never in public toilets apart from once when we had a shit-off.

[rushy_23]

Bleach on your ring must give you much more than a bit of sting?!

[Viper]

wasnt on her ring. lol

was the front bottom

[jeffchiz]

wasnt on her ring. lol

was the front bottom

bless her.... lol

rushy-you made me laugh so hard, imagining someone moistening the toilet paper, i dont really get why but each to their own ha

public toilets a must is to cover the seat in paper and shove a few sheets down the loo as db said to reduce the "flop" sound lol i cringe in public toilets if ive just made a sound and someone has heard it lol some people dont give a shit in public toilets though they just let rip lol

[Krys_23]

Ideal thread for me, stayed at my birds from wednesday and still here now, had horrendeous diorrhea and have been giving her toilet some serious pain the last few days! Extreme skitter to say the least, one skid every 20 mins is not fun!

And i also weighed mysel 2 weeks ago at 10 stone 7lbs i am now 10 stone 4lbs! 3 pounds of fluid gone!

[Peter_D]

Ideal thread for me, stayed at my birds from wednesday and still here now, had horrendeous diorrhea and have been giving her toilet some serious pain the last few days! Extreme skitter to say the least, one skid every 20 mins is not fun!

And i also weighed mysel 2 weeks ago at 10 stone 7lbs i am now 10 stone 4lbs! 3 pounds of fluid gone!

Any pics of your runny stool?

[jeffchiz]

Any pics of your runny stool?

your a sick sick boy

[Krys_23]

It can be arranged Peter ..

[Peter_D]

I could just come up and see it in person :S

[Krys_23]

3lbs of skitter i'm nearly empty.. i'm like fiddy cent.

[Mochachino]

3lbs of skitter i'm nearly empty.. i'm like fiddy cent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0x_6oda8Po&feature=player_embedded

[Craddock]

I destroyed the gym toilets yesterday. Absolutely annihilated them.

[Peter_D]

3lbs of skitter i'm nearly empty.. i'm like fiddy cent.

You really want the Rallye to be rapid dont you...removing the interior, lightweight bucket seats, lightweight wheels, removing all the audio.....and then emptying half your bodyweight via your arse into your birds toilet before going out in the Rallye and trying to race everything :A:

[Tom_Crx]

http://www.poobreak.com/

For anyone that has a shit at work and would like a giggle, tells you how much money you got paid for taking a shit

[Barry123]

you lube up your loo roll? LOL strange lad rushy...

i dont mind having a shit out of home, just as long as the loos are decent.

Had to have a massive brown water style shit in a club once. Toilet door wouldnt lock and the loo didnt have a seat. was an experience to tell the grandkids...

baby wipes ftw.

and that last paragraph.... phahahahahaaaa!

[rushy_23]

Seriously I cant be the only one that wets toilet paper when wiping their ass?

Provides a smoother and more efficient approach.

[Viper]

how... it separates the fibres, and when you wipe the ol' ring, it rips.

Jesus rush, how can you not know how to wipe your arse!?

Do the arab thing and use your left hand :A:

[Peter_D]

Seriously I cant be the only one that wets toilet paper when wiping their ass?

Provides a smoother and more efficient approach.

I only dampen the toilet roll with cold water if ive got a serious case of the skits, and after about the 8th trip to the toilet my ringpiece is seriously burning, so i dampen the toilet roll with cold water and gently dab my ringer clean, the cold water soothes it a bit

[rushy_23]

Nah man the paper never rips. You just need to use the right amount. 3 sheets per wipe to ensure to finger/bumhole action!

Ahh dude seriously dont! Its bad enough them washing their feet/shins/knees/thighs in the fucking sinks. Water flicking all over the shop.


Peter_D knows. I just do it all the time, maybe I like the sensation?

[Viper]

I only dampen the toilet roll with cold water if ive got a serious case of the skits, and after about the 8th trip to the toilet my ringpiece is seriously burning, so i dampen the toilet roll with cold water and gently dab my ringer clean, the cold water soothes it a bit

aahhhhh, ive done that one before. Such a good soothing feeling :hug:

[Tom_Crx]

Talking of toilet paper, does yours hang over or under?

[Peter_D]

"Ahhhhhhh" is exactly the noise that i make when i do it too

[Barry123]

Seriously I cant be the only one that wets toilet paper when wiping their ass?

Provides a smoother and more efficient approach.

how... it separates the fibres, and when you wipe the ol' ring, it rips.

Jesus rush, how can you not know how to wipe your arse!?

Do the arab thing and use your left hand :A:

No one listening...

baby wipes.

[Krys_23]

Amen to baby wipes, i've gone through around 40 in 48 hrs.

[Viper]

nooo baby wipes leave you with a wet arse. you may as well just have a shit then wash your arse in the shower...

[Barry123]

ejit. baby wipes first... super clean, then a standard toilet paper to mop up and dampness.

[Mochachino]

nooo baby wipes leave you with a wet arse. you may as well just have a shit then wash your arse in the shower...

I aint gnna lie, i do this. I have to shower soon after a poodles, jus a habit :oops

[rushy_23]

No one listening...

baby wipes.

Flushables or expect your shitpipe to get filled to the brim!...

[Peter_D]

Next time i have the skids i might actually just go outside and release it in the river so i don't have to wipe

The thought of the cool water flowing over my arse is sounding immense

What actually gives you ring sting? Is it the fact that you've wiped it so much and so often, that it has chaffed your piece? Or is it that your shite is basically concentrated nuclear waste, and is burning your vulnerable, tender balloon knot on its way out?

[Barry123]

Next time i have the skids i might actually just go outside and release it in the river so i don't have to wipe

The thought of the cool water flowing over my arse is sounding immense

What actually gives you ring sting? Is it the fact that you've wiped it so much and so often, that it has chaffed your piece? Or is it that your shite is basically concentrated nuclear waste, and is burning your vulnerable, tender balloon knot on its way out?

I thought it was like a 3rd degree tear or something. I remember when I was 6 and did go for about 9 days and then sat on the toilet for an hour, 30mins pushing and screaming and 30mins moping up blood.

[tweedie]

I remember when I was 6 and did go for about 9 days and then sat on the toilet for an hour, 30mins pushing and screaming and 30mins moping up blood.

Pmsl ouch. I didn't go for about a week and it killed

[johnlambert]

i dont care for wet toiler paper!!

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