Best Snatch Quote

[nath_vts]

The best line in the film snatch ?

:)

[C4_Lew]

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU LOSE GORGEOUS GEORGE? HES NOT EXACTLY A SET OF FUCKING CAR KEYS IS HE?

caps**

too many good quotes in this film

"thats not a shotgun, thats a fucking anti aircraft gun" or something like it

[Furio-92]

Why the fuck do I want a caravan that's got no fucking wheels?

[VTomR]

"your only suppose to blow the bloody doors off"

oh wait...

[MikeYost]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8XaVWAsT9A

[tinytim6666]

i need to see this film

[Bickerton]

"thats not a shotgun, thats a fucking anti aircraft gun" or something like it

Lock stock /fail

And i think the gorgeous george quote is completly wrong too?

[nath_vts]

If you havent seen it its a must see, along with any other guy ritchie film.

(thats not a quote from the film btw :P )

[MiniGibbo]

i need to see this film

You must be kidding me you havent seen snatch :wacko:

[Mochachino]

"thats not a shotgun, thats a fucking anti aircraft gun" or something like it

..."well i want to raise a pulse dont i".."youll raise bloody hell!!!!"

:y: lmao i love that one haha

"what the fuck are you lookin at"

"go n put the kettle on"

"pull your tongue outa my arsehole.."

lol i could go on forever.

[Bound]

You must be kidding me you havent seen snatch :wacko:

I haven't seen it either..

I've seen like three films in my life.

[Manu]

Snatch wars: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDKiQfBs9lo


Also, on the bonus DVD: the swearword compilation which goes like fuckfuckfuckshitasscuntfuckfuck

[Rogue_Shadow]

brilliant films!

Definitely put them on the list of films to see before you die :D

[TheDanBurgess]

I don't care if he's muhammod i'm hard Bruce lee.

[tom130691]

if i throw a dog a bone i dont want to know weather it tastes good

[dankzy]

was just watching this other night, i forgot how funny it was

"open him up"
"its not a F***king tin of bake beans,what you mean open him up"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPYFMIBKU10

[Peter_D]

Lock stock /fail


It's Snatch actually, fail! :hug:

Brick Top: Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog, are ya Gary?
Gary: No, no I'm not.
Brick Top: But you do have all the characteristics of a dog, Gary. All except loyalty.

[Tom]

"In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?"

"Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me"

[Tom_Crx]

Snatch wars: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDKiQfBs9lo


Also, on the bonus DVD: the swearword compilation which goes like fuckfuckfuckshitasscuntfuckfuck
Snatch wars ftw!

[GoonS_VTR]

I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from. LOL classic also, I don't care if he's Muhammad I'm hard Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters

[Mochachino]

"whats in that?"

"2 seats n a steering wheel...."

[23carragold]

Brick Top: "Put a lead on her Turkish before she gets bitten.."

[daveg1]

"guns for show, knifes for a pro"

[Dave89]

Post faiil

[23carragold]

Post faiil


You damn right it was a fail...

SNATCH quotes

Edit or GTFO

[Maxamus]

"Ja like Dags?"
"Dags?"
"Yeh dag's"
"OH Dogs, yeh I like dogs. But I like caravans more!"



Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?


Avi: You got a toothbrush? We're going to London. Do you hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London.
[Avi arrives in London]
Doug the Head: Avi!
Avi: Shut up and sit down, you big, bald fuck. I don't like leaving my own country, Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less then warm sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats.
Doug the Head: We've got sandy beaches...
Avi: So? Who the fuck wants to see 'em? I hope you appreciate the concern I have for my friend Franky, Doug. I'm gonna find him, and you're gonna help me find him, and we're gonna start at that fight.

Avi: Eighty-six carats.
Rosebud: Where?
Avi: London.
Rosebud: London?
Avi: London.
Avi's Colleague: London?
Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON.

[geordie_alex]

'quick tommy before zee germans get here' always makes me laugh, use that line at every opportunity.

[Maxamus]

HAHA cant forget...

Brick Top: I don't care if he's Muhammad I'm hard Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.

[jon748]

i fuckin hate pikeys

[Peter_D]

HAHA cant forget...

Brick Top: I don't care if he's Muhammad I'm hard Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.

Serious fail

[Maxamus]

Serious fail

How so?

[dav0506]

I haven't seen it either..

I've seen like three films in my life.

9/11: The conspiracy
1969: How Nasa deceived the world
1945: It wasn't Hitlers fault, the jews put him up to it

[citroen_saxo_vtr]

"Put a leash on her Turkish"
"Feed them to the pigs"
"i fuckin hate pikeys"
The famous one "micky"
"You could land a fucking anti aircraft plane"
"i thought he was a get away driver?"

[Peter_D]

You sad HAHA! CANT FORGET!...when it's already said twice in the thread, so clearly hasn't been forgotten?

[wingnuts]

Turkish: i need a caravan and your gunna buy it for me
Tommy: whats wrong with this one
Turkish pulls the door off- oh nothing tommy its tip top and just so sure about the colour

Tommy- whats coursing?
Turkish- they send 2 lurchers to chance after a big rabbit
Tommy- well what happens when the rabbit gets caught
Turkish- well i can imagine it gets fucked
Tommy-what proper fucked?

Tyron you silly fat bastard

Vinny- what the fucks this Tyron?
Tyron- its a guy with 4 fingers and a brief case Vinny

your supposed to be a big bad boy yardy
i make the bodies i dont erase the bodies

[Giraffe]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.




Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish: It was two minutes five minutes ago.



Vinny: Did he have four fingers?
Sol: I'm sorry, I couldn't get the bin-noc-u-lars out in time.

[wingnuts]

got another one lol

bullet tooth tony- Boris the Blade? as in Boris the Bullet Dodger?

avi- why do they call him the bullet dodger

bullet tooth tony- cause he dodges bullets avi

brick top listen you fucking fringe if i throw a dog a bone i dont want to know if it tastes good or not you stop me again while im walking and ill cut your fucking jacobs off

errol- fuck face whos speaking to you? he asked him didnt he?
Turkish- fuck face.....i like that one errol ill have to remember that one next time im climbing off your mum

[jw1325]

'Pull Your Socks Up!!'

[Morgzc]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDKiQfBs9lo

[Sparky26]

you have to watch the deleted scenes aswell some piss funny bits in it
Eroll: you turkish??
Turkish: well i aint fuckin greek am i??

[wingnuts]

you have to watch the deleted scenes aswell some piss funny bits in it
Eroll: you turkish??
Turkish: well i aint fuckin greek am i??

Rofl they make me laugh when bullet tooth tony pisses in errols pocket

Ah you dirty bastard boss he's just pissed in my pocket lol

[Caino]

what a film !
i need to watch this again !

[Sparky26]

Rofl they make me laugh when bullet tooth tony pisses in errols pocket

Ah you dirty bastard boss he's just pissed in my pocket lol

Haha cant understand why there not in the film!!

And before he goes into that the speech where he is on about openin him up lke a bag of crisps cant remember the whole bit tho lol

[thenice]

'If you ever stop me whilst i'm walking again, i'll cut your fucking Jacobs off!' (Brick Top) :panic:

[Carlvtr88]

SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN YOU BIG BALD FUCK !

and the one that makes me laugh....." Whats the matter with that space there ? "... "Its too tight".... "Too tight? "....." You could park a jumbo fucking jet in there ! "

Whats that.... This is a shotgun Sol..... Its a fucking Anti aircraft gun Vincent... Yeah well i wana raise some pulses dont i ! You'll raise hell, never mind pulses ! HAHAHA

[thenice]

Mike Reid playing the Jew, has a go at the Jewish kids at the jewellers, 'it's not a free shop, now FUCK OFF!'

[savo]

If you havent seen it its a must see, along with any other guy ritchie film.

Except Revolver...that was THE biggest load of shit i have ever wasted my time watching. One of those films that looks good but at the end just makes you think "what the fuck was that about?????"

[savo]

Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you?
Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

[Bickerton]

It's Snatch actually, fail! :hug:



Ah yeah, i'm thinking of the big gun in lock stock that the girl kills him with

[deans2k8]

who took the jam out of your donut...you did tommy..you did

[Robbie-Flat-Arch]

its a free country in it?
well it aint a free shop is it so FUCK OFF

[Robbie-Flat-Arch]

the main one is forgotten!!

Turkish: What happen with those sausages charlie?
Charlie: 2 Minutes Turkish
.....................
Turkish: Whats happening with those sausages charlie
Charlie: 5 Minutes Turkish
Turkish: It was 2 Minutes 5 Minutes ago

[Robbie-Flat-Arch]

goody gumdrops

what the fuck are you doing solaman

Almost Dead!!

Tyron you silly fat bastard

All bets are off so if all bets are off there cant be any money can there?
I aint fucking buying that
Well thats handy cus i aint fucking selling it, its a fact

you've got 5 fingers!!

gimmie back my money. ...... Wankers

its for me ma
for your what
His ma

so why didnt you bust a cap is his ass

i'll cut your fucking jacobs off

its a camp site, oooh you bastard i fuckng hate pikeys!!

you stay till the jobs done

get back down and fuckin stay down

soooo many more i can think of but i will be here hours

[mardiGRANT]

feed him to the pigs harrold

why would i want a caravan with no fucking wheels

awesome :D

[SaxoSam96]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8XaVWAsT9A

Scott welch At the beginning of that video, and who micky fights at the end of the film is my boxing trainer, top bloke!

[johny105]

mickey:its for mi maaah
tommy:who ?
caravan full of pikey:his maaaah (passes picture of mickeys maaah over)

bullet tooth tony : you can call me susan if you like



i have the why the fuck would i want a caravan with no fucking wheels as my msg tone


top top top film

[Matty]

Your a natural aren't you tyrone,

Course i ammm

Love this film :D

[McGuire86]

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.

Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two little mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns...
[Zoom in on the side of Sol's gun, which indeed has "REPLICA" etched on the side; zoom out, as they sneak peeks at the sides of their guns]

Bullet Tooth Tony: And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O"...
[Withdraws his gun and puts it on the table]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Written down the side of mine...

[They look, zoom in on the side of his gun, which indeed has "DESERT EAGLE .50" etched on the side]
Bullet Tooth Tony: Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!

[McGuire86]

Tommy: Who took the jam outta your doughnut?
Turkish: You took the fucking jam outta my doughnut, Tommy. You did.

[McGuire86]

Gorgeous George: It's a camp site, a pikey campsite...
Tommy: Ten points.
Gorgeous George: What we doing here?
Tommy: We're buying a caravan.
Gorgeous George: Off a pack of fuckin' pikeys? What's wrong with you? This will get messy.
Tommy: Well not if you're here.
Gorgeous George: Oh, you bastard! I fuckin' hate pikeys!

[Giraffe]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.




Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish: It was two minutes five minutes ago.



Vinny: Did he have four fingers?
Sol: I'm sorry, I couldn't get the bin-noc-u-lars out in time.

the main one is forgotten!!

Turkish: What happen with those sausages charlie?
Charlie: 2 Minutes Turkish
.....................
Turkish: Whats happening with those sausages charlie
Charlie: 5 Minutes Turkish
Turkish: It was 2 Minutes 5 Minutes ago

Hello.

[mikeysoft]

Do you know what "nemesis" means?
A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent.
Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt...
me.

[Bound]

Sol: What the fuck is that?
Vinny: Heh heh. This is a shotgun, Sol.
Sol: It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent.
Vinny: Well I wanna raise some pulses, don't I?
Sol: You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.

[Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van]
Tyrone: I didn't see it there.
Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as if it's a bag of fucking peanuts, is it?
Tyrone: It was a funny angle.
[All three turn and look back at the truck]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you.

ahahahahahhahahahahahhaahhahaha

I fucking LOVE that.

(seen it now obvs :D).. Seen all the guy ritchie films now... I'd go as far as to say Snatch is probably my all time favourite film :D.

[23carragold]

Snatch = All time favourite film of mine. Cannot be matched ever again.

[Bound]

Ah, also

"You're a natural, ain't ya Tyrone?"
"Course I am"
"You've done a rallying course ain't ya Tyrone?"
"Course I have"

Vinny: Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot?
Tyrone: It's too tight.
Vinny: Too tight? You could land a jumbo fucking jet in that.

Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from, eh?

9/11: The conspiracy
1969: How Nasa deceived the world
1945: It wasn't Hitlers fault, the jews put him up to it

P.s. - explain? :S.

[Bound]

I fucking love those :D.

[D--R--E--W]

Snatch and Lock Stock are awesome

[Manu]

Where ?

London.

London?

London.

London?

Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup ‘o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins… LONDON.

[carl300367]

i fuckin hate pikeys

[danzman1991]

I thought you said he a was a getaway driver? What the fuck can he get away from?"

[Manu]

click here for Youtube - Snatch Wars (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDKiQfBs9lo)

Some of you might have not seen this...

Go put the kettle on.

[char69lie]

i dont care if his names...muhammed.. im 'ard.. bruce lee


When all the pikeys say the same thing at once... HIS MAAAA


What ... proper fucked?

[char69lie]

whats wrong with this one?

oh no tommy.. its tip... top.. im not not so sure on the colour

whats that for? protection.. from what ze germans?