Caino
21st September 2010, 12:51
Just got an email, thought i'd share :D
A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the most
Embarrassing moments in listeners' lives.
The final four were:-
FOURTH PLACE
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some
Pent-up energy and started to run amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
Annoyance from other customers.
I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right now, she would
Be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
Threatening, "If you don't let me go, I'll tell Grandma I saw you kissing
Daddy's peepee last night."
After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the
Tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank, with my
Daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of
Laughter.
THIRD PLACE
"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
Parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a
Romantic night alone.
As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing
Downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride
Down to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have
Time to get dressed.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a
Whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!!".
My entire family - parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and all my
Friends, were standing there.
My girlfriend and I were rooted to the spot in a state of shock and
Embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
Since then, no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.
SECOND PLACE
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up
To the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out across
The store for everyone to hear: "Price check for Tampax supersize".
But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood
The word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks", and replied in a business-like tone,
His voice booming over the same public address system:
"Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you belt in
With a hammer?"
And the winner is . . .
FIRST PLACE
This happened during a biology lecture at a major Australian University.
A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly,
You are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar? "
The professor responded, "Yes, that's correct", adding some statistical
Data to his lecture.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing.
The poor girl turned bright red as she realised exactly what she had
Inadvertently said.
She picked up her books and, without another word, began to walk out.
However, as she was heading for the door, the professor's reply was a
Classic.
Totally straight-faced, he answered her question: "It doesn't taste sweet
Because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of our tongue and not
In the back of your throat."
A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the most
Embarrassing moments in listeners' lives.
The final four were:-
FOURTH PLACE
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some
Pent-up energy and started to run amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
Annoyance from other customers.
I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right now, she would
Be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
Threatening, "If you don't let me go, I'll tell Grandma I saw you kissing
Daddy's peepee last night."
After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the
Tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank, with my
Daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of
Laughter.
THIRD PLACE
"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
Parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a
Romantic night alone.
As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing
Downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride
Down to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have
Time to get dressed.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a
Whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!!".
My entire family - parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and all my
Friends, were standing there.
My girlfriend and I were rooted to the spot in a state of shock and
Embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
Since then, no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.
SECOND PLACE
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up
To the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out across
The store for everyone to hear: "Price check for Tampax supersize".
But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood
The word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks", and replied in a business-like tone,
His voice booming over the same public address system:
"Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you belt in
With a hammer?"
And the winner is . . .
FIRST PLACE
This happened during a biology lecture at a major Australian University.
A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly,
You are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar? "
The professor responded, "Yes, that's correct", adding some statistical
Data to his lecture.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing.
The poor girl turned bright red as she realised exactly what she had
Inadvertently said.
She picked up her books and, without another word, began to walk out.
However, as she was heading for the door, the professor's reply was a
Classic.
Totally straight-faced, he answered her question: "It doesn't taste sweet
Because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of our tongue and not
In the back of your throat."