lonely hearts add

[nicole_]

if you were writing one, how would you describe yourself, and your seeking description aswell
seen it on another forum
no doubt itll get some wierd answers on here :homme:

[Moke]

Lonely young man looking for love.

I am short, but fun and wild!
I don't mind what the girl looks like as long as she is real and has a va jay jay. Can I poke your va jay jay?

Nicole is a shit name, so no Nicole's. I'm sorry.

Text me or heyyy, add me on Facebook!

[Matt67]

i am 6 ft tall black and have a 9 inch cock arounnnnnnnnnnddd

I also like walks in the parks

[Mochachino]

Hello looking for a 3sum on sundays in the back of my sierra. I have 2 legs and short black hair on my head. Usually feelin quite high. Slim athletic body, with a mexican skin complection.

I seeking for an old woman prefebly disabled as a result from extensive anal penetration. Eyesight, hearing and teeth dont matter as i can accomodate for these. Up for some fun with no strings attached.

PS you need a designer vigina

Whats yours nicole?

[holdawayt]

Tom
19
friendly chap, cant get enough of mashed potato. Seeks woman to do my washing, cooking, personal hygiene tasks and general womanly tasks as my girlfriend refuses.

Send replies to ihatemyselfandiwanttocutmywristsanddrinkthebloodun tilimemptybutiwontactuallybeemptybecauseiwillhaved rankitagain@hotmail,co,iraq

[Lacey_106]

Hello looking for a 3sum on sundays in the back of my sierra. I have 2 legs and short black hair on my head. Usually feelin quite high. Slim athletic body, with a mexican skin complection.

I seeking for an old woman prefebly disabled as a result from extensive anal penetration. Eyesight, hearing and teeth dont matter as i can accomodate for these. Up for some fun with no strings attached.

PS you need a designer vigina

Whats yours nicole?

^^^^ this won't be topped. AMAZING

[MAXSTARR]

Submissive male seeks dominant female with extensive knowledge of knots.

[Dom]

Complete Legend, Guaranteed a great night, or your Money Back.

Midgets need not apply, unless your sexy.

16+ Only.

[0rang3peel]

23 year old immature cunt, still laughs at willy jokes. Looking for no strings attached funsies, ages 16+ need not apply

[D--R--E--W]

Fat, balding 22 year old man

Likes: short walks but prefer driving as I'm fat and lazy
gym when I can be arsed
eating out ;)(let you make up your mind on that one)
sex now and then....

Seeking: something shaved and prefferably unabbused
legal?.........Meh!!

Any replies please call or text 0800 suck dix

[Pieface]

Young gentleman seeks younger Female. I believe that a female half the age of the male is the perfect combination, as long as she's a freak in the bed ;) My age is 19.

[Dom]

Fat, balding 22 year old man

Likes: short walks but prefer driving as I'm fat and lazy
gym when I can be arsed
eating out ;)(let you make up your mind on that one)
sex now and then....

Seeking: something shaved and prefferably unabbused
legal?.........Meh!!

Any replies please call or text 0800 suck dix


You had me at hello...:sweetheart:

May I apply? I look 15

[Beaniemoo]

Worlds strongest millionaire

[Tontsy]

"hi im tonto"

or

"under age? call now"

[Matt67]

Hi there,

20 year old compulsive masturbator seeks right or left hand from anything with a pulse. Preferably disabled so you can never run off, must be ok with dark rooms since you're never see light again, people from the north no need to apply since i don't agree with insest.

Lul

[D--R--E--W]

You had me at hello...:sweetheart:

May I apply? I look 15

Fire in .....Literally

[JamesR]

Young, Tall, Muscular stud like alpha male, (big penis) heavy chain smoker and career alcoholic, likes playing squash in speedos of a wednesday, seeking big breasted (none-saggy), over 60 female who likes take aways and lots of sexytime (must be fairly tight)

[GoonS_VTR]

i can touch my mouth with my penis

call me

[P90PTS]

Im a firey and have a 22meter long hose thats 70mm thick.

What's your stats?

[MikeVTS_GR]

i'm almost 23 not short i'm lowered(got koni 5's)
my girlfriend is 16 valve French 140ps name VTS and we make love every night uphills and downhills. perfect couple with high compression ratio.
hapiness seems to be lonelyness

[saxo-parts]

hi, i'm jason and 40 years old, youthful in my outlook on life, currently stationed in HMP Broadmoor, hobbies and pastimes include sodomy and murdering women who reply to lonely hearts ads, you sad lifeless skanks, i'm going to carve you all up. Hope to hear from you soon xxxx

[kc-saxo]

i'm almost 23 not short i'm lowered(got koni 5's)
my girlfriend is 16 valve French 140ps name VTS and we make love every night uphills and downhills. perfect couple with high compression ratio.
hapiness seems to be lonelyness

LMFAO I have no clue WTF any of that is meant to say

[LeeM]

male with low standards seeks female.

[K17NEY]

chris,24

If i dont where pants i get a smelly knee

txt me.1800 rim me

[123rspeed]

22 year old loner, socially inactive. personal hygeine questionable, not much of a looker. Interests include sex with small fruit or whatever it fits into, thimbles, key holes etc

Looking for anything with 4 legs, NO DOGS!!!

[K17NEY]

22 year old loner, socially inactive. personal hygeine questionable, not much of a looker. Interests include sex with small fruit or whatever it fits into, thimbles, key holes etc

Looking for anything with 4 legs, NO DOGS!!!

Fucking lol..:clapping:

[titchster]

Absolute cunt seeks female.

[piranhamatt]

old age rich pensioner with weak heart seeks young russian

[jw1325]

5 " 8 size 10 Blonde with 34" legs, and 34 D cup, seeks men for wild nights and cosy dates. must be rich and willing to pamper me.

Fixed rate of £100 and hour. email to book.

[Lewis1600]

young male 19 seeks MILF

kids must be older than me

GILF's are acceptable, Pics upon request.

[Jenson]

Demented hunchback seeks humble wench to empty drool cup.

[sparky771]

Some sick fuckers on this forum isnt there haha

[Juggyluggs]

haha quite disturbing at the responses on here lol

my ad

man needs women
that is all

[Pixie]

5 " 8 size 10 Blonde with 34" legs, and 34 D cup, seeks men for wild nights and cosy dates. must be rich and willing to pamper me.

Fixed rate of £100 and hour. email to book.

Pm'd ;)


Lolz jokes

[Peter_D]

5 " 8 size 10 Blonde with 34" legs, and 34 D cup, seeks men for wild nights and cosy dates. must be rich and willing to pamper me.

Fixed rate of £100 and hour. email to book.

Do you have paypal? :afro:

[seaNNN]

Do you have paypal? :afro:

If not I do :hug:

[Peter_D]

Whats ur address sean, i'll send you a fiver so you can get a couple drinks in the Camps and have a blast on the karaoke with Greg

[K17NEY]

Whats ur address sean, i'll send you a fiver so you can get a couple drinks in the Camps and have a blast on the karaoke with Greg

Ive been eagerly awaiting to see your add peter, c'mon!

[seaNNN]

17 Corner Crescent. Send me a Tenner with that Ill get blazin on a bottle of wkd and 3 pirnos and go up and do a duet with boy newlands singing the gambler. Ill even send you the video hows that sound?

[Peter_D]

LOL i meant your Paypal address not your house address!

But next time in wick i'll be looking for 17 corner crescent, might sit outside your house and watch you browse Saxp :y:

Kitney i'm too tired after work to even be bothered typing a lonely hearts ad, and i couldn't really be fucked with all the messages i'd be getting from birds on here.. They would be soaked right through from just reading my ad LOL

[Mr_X]

tall,dark,handsome self made millionaire seeks gullible women for fun

[seaNNN]

Corner crescent is a very dangerous place. Dont let the integra come to a stand still in corner crescent because if one of my neighbours dont steal it I will.

[K17NEY]

17 Corner Crescent. Send me a Tenner with that Ill get blazin on a bottle of wkd and 3 pirnos and go up and do a duet with boy newlands singing the gambler. Ill even send you the video hows that sound?

Wick as in bridgend?

LOL i meant your Paypal address not your house address!

But next time in wick i'll be looking for 17 corner crescent, might sit outside your house and watch you browse Saxp :y:

Kitney i'm too tired after work to even be bothered typing a lonely hearts ad, and i couldn't really be fucked with all the messages i'd be getting from birds on here.. They would be soaked right through from just reading my ad LOL

Dripping like a fucked fridge??

[VTR-GAZzA]

18 year old seeks m or f or other or animal or alien......basically anything with or without pulse

don't need to be picky ehh

[Pieface]

seaNNN has given away his address over the internet? Oh dear god

[seaNNN]

Feel free to deliver parcels of anthrax.

[Peter_D]

Wick as in bridgend?



Dripping like a fucked fridge??

No Wick as in near where i live! It's a lovely place.....:panic:

Had loadsa good nights out in Wick though :fcuk:

[seaNNN]

Haha that must of been a long time ago when wick was busy at weekends.

It is on the rise again though.

[Peter_D]

I just go to the Waterfront when there's DJ's playin there, Mad Dog plays there alot

Always go for a couple drinks in the Camps first though, such a strange place that is

[seaNNN]

Haha the camps its actually a rite laugh sometimes. Same people in it every hour of everyday of every week though.

[Peter_D]

Aye it's alrite, the karaoke is always on when we've been up, Greg is always the first one up singing the same song every time LOL, he's a good lad :y:

Do you go to the waterfront when DJ's are playin, like Cally & Juice, Anne Savage etc were you at them?

[seaNNN]

Greg as in Bo? Singing let it be? haha

No ive been too young for going when all the big names were on before but all definately be going if any Djs are on now. Quite fancy'd goin to Cally and juice in helmsdale a month or 2 ago but no one was fit for it. Not that I was that fussed because their not great anyway I was more interested in seeing that nicco from inverness hes pretty good and mad dogs decent aswell. I'd imagine you was at it?

[Peter_D]

Aye Bo haha, and yes thats the song! Then he whips out the harmonica and does a little solo hahaha, same thing every time! He is quality crack i first met him about 3 year ago and took him back down the road with us for a party what a shape he was in LOL he said never again

Nah i couldn't go i was skint, only just started back to work, and i couldn't actually be fucked

My partyin days are done, i've burnt the candle at both ends and im burnt out now, needed to stop anyway

[seaNNN]

Haha hes in the camps EVERY weekend without fail usually recked too. Hes pretty good at singing that tune aswell dont think ive seen the harmonica solo yet.

Surely the partying days will start again now that your back at work.

[Peter_D]

Can't believe you haven't seen the harmonica solo, he just whips it out his pocket in the middle of the tune and does a solo LOL

Nah i've gotten used to the quiet life now and i don't mind it, i needed to calm down anyway and i did after something that happened almost a year ago now, i'm an angel now though and just wanna make some money and save it :y:

[seaNNN]

I probably have but was too fucked to remember it.

I hate stayin in rite now every weekends just class until I damaged my tendons 2 weekends ago and am living the quiet life through choice or else Id probably get the sack. Doubt you would save much money runnin your monster haha.

[Peter_D]

Well through the week i'll only be doing 90 miles total, so it's only the weekend i'd be driving so wont be that bad, beats spending it on drugs anyway

[jw1325]

Do you have paypal? :afro:

? thought you were my pimp?? people pay you?

[D--R--E--W]

Could Petey and his new bird take it to Pm's and stom spamming this interesting, but dying thread...

[Peter_D]

Could Petey and his new bird take it to Pm's and stom spamming this interesting, but dying thread...

This thread was thriving til you showed up...look at it now, about as alive as Michael Jackson

Might aswell /thread now, Drew has ruined it

[Pixie]

tall,dark,handsome self made millionaire seeks gullible women for fun

:clapping: Ahahahaha Very funny :D

[Peter_D]

? thought you were my pimp?? people pay you?

Aye but since you've been such a good hoe i'm gonna paypal ya a bonus :A:

[W103_A5H]

21yo short fat cunt who walks on his knees for the fun, seeks the good housewife type that will fill all my needs such as lots of boring sex (aslong as im satisfied, who gives a fuck?) and will do what I tell her such as "OI! get me another beer bitch!" or "Im hungry, go make me some fucking food... if i wanted to starve I wouldn't buy any fucking food would I..? " Call me on 0800-perfect-wife :y:

[ryanmt]

-edit wrong end of stick!

Mine would probably be like the topgear ones :D

[jonesy9]

young male seeking female for penetration, size 12 or smaller, i aint bumming a fat fuck!

[Liam]

Hello

(Usually thats enough to reel them in)

[Mike-VTR]

5 " 8 size 10 Blonde with 34" legs, and 34 D cup, seeks men for wild nights and cosy dates. must be rich and willing to pamper me.

Fixed rate of £100 and hour. email to book.

5'8 with 34" legs? haha wtf theres gotta be a fettish for that somewhere.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[sparky771]

5'8 with 34" legs? haha wtf theres gotta be a fettish for that somewhere.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Shes just sayin she has long legs. I personally am a lover of long legs! :y:

but cant beat shortish girls. 5'2 to 5'6 = perfect height for me

[MikeVTS_GR]

don't do drugs

[Peter_D]

don't do drugs

Sorry i don't speak Greek, could you repeat that in English?

[Ryyy]

19, needs a shag like a Jew needs a beard, short but sexy, huge penish but my balls look like peanuts smothered in a carpet, GSOH lololololol, 19 bai x.

x.

[stinkycheese]

20/M/London w/smelly helmet seeks female. Hugs & kisses x

[Ryyy]

'Fuck would want a smegma-dick?


:/

[stinkycheese]

'Fuck would want a smegma-dick?


:/

Chr15, Peter_D, Bullit, Lacey_106, Jojobunbun, you?

[Peter_D]

The question should be who WOULDN'T want one, they are awesome

Mother nature at it's very best

[Ryyy]

The question should be who WOULDN'T want one, they are awesome

Mother nature at it's very best

Wouldn't mind abit of wartiness on the end of the bell, but no smegma, even the name smegma reminds me of "Egg-Nog" for some twisted reason..think it's cos they sound alike...(Off I go on a random warble)..

Anyone for a glass of sour smegma?Stinky?

[Peter_D]

Melted smegma on toast with some lea & perrins drizzled on top

Apparantly it's a fine cuisine dish in southern France

Just had the most sickening but amazing thought ever...you know those tubes of cheese you get that you squeeze the tube and cheese comes out...well refilling it with knob cheese, and sticking it in your mates fridge, take him to the pub then go back to his fucked and get him to make some grub when you get back to his

Ahhh

[Ryyy]

Salty ground-down Smegma along with blind-man's cum paste.


Apparent delicacy in Western Ecuador.