The secret to a great relationship IMO

[sr666]

Hi folks I keep seeing on here a few people who have had a few issues with their girlfriends so I figured I'd hand out 5 simple bits of advice to a perfect relationship

1. Firstly it's VERY important to have a woman that helps at home, cooks cleans and has a job

2. It's important to have a woman that can always make you laugh when you're feeling bad or even just in general

3. It's also pretty important to have a woman that you can trust and would never lie to you

4. It's important also have a woman who is great in bed and loves being with you

5. The most important part is make sure that the 4 women don't know each other :P

Thought I'd share

Ryan

[Cammy]

phew, i thought i wasnt the only guy playing the dating game : )

[Rudpud]

You forgot...

5. Its extremely important she can make a sandwich

[L20VTS]

Hmm wonder if this theory works for lads as well :S

[sr666]

You forgot...

5. Its extremely important she can make a sandwich

That's in number 1 my learned colleague :P

[Rudpud]

That's in number 1 my learned colleague :P

My bad, see its that important that its all that was on my mind... Just the words, able to make sandwich

[deans2k8]

Hi folks I keep seeing on here a few people who have had a few issues with their girlfriends so I figured I'd hand out 5 simple bits of advice to a perfect relationship

1. Firstly it's VERY important to have a woman that helps at home, cooks cleans and has a job

2. It's important to have a woman that can always make you laugh when you're feeling bad or even just in general

3. It's also pretty important to have a woman that you can trust and would never lie to you

4. It's important also have a woman who is great in bed and loves being with you

5. The most important part is make sure that the 4 women don't know each other :P

Thought I'd share

Ryan

1. partially right for me although i am a bugger and fussy when it comes to cooking so i look to do all the cooking!

2. spot on :y:

3.:hug:

4.isnt that just obvious?

5. and i will quote 'little nicky' AND I SMELL AN EVIL SLUUT! you man whore lol

[Cammy]

what about the "If the sandwich hasnt got pickle on it, shes getting a black eye" method, its not in there.

[MAXSTARR]

Hmm wonder if this theory works for lads as well :S

women should be seen and not heard should be added........



and the best bit of advice i learnt was to treat them like a queen until they love you, then crush their self esteem, call them fat and ugly etc....

[Bound]

and the best bit of advice i learnt was to treat them like a queen until they love you, then crush their self esteem, call them fat and ugly etc....

You're my hero.

[sr666]

also be honest with them. if they say does my bum look big be prepared to say yes then run :P

[Dano]

You forgot...

5. Its extremely important she can make a SAMMICH*

fixed. :y:

[Bound]

if they say does my bum look big be prepared to say yes then run :P

...You fucking faggot, what you say is "Yeah it looks big you dumb whore, that's because you've been stuffing your fat ugly fucking whore mouth full of sandwhiches that were meant for me, so yes your arse looks fucking big".

Then punch her in the face.

[Cammy]

^^, LOL

[Rudpud]

...You fucking faggot, what you say is "Yeah it looks big you dumb whore, that's because you've been stuffing your fat ugly fucking whore mouth full of sandwhiches that were meant for me, so yes your arse looks fucking big".

Then punch her in the face.

Hitting women is neither big nor clever. Just amusing i joke, its very wrong.

[Bound]

Hitting women is neither big nor clever. Just amusing i joke, its very wrong.

Lol, I tell my girlfriend to shut her whore mouth all the time. No joke, she loves it...Probably.

[Rudpud]

Lol, I tell my girlfriend to shut her whore mouth all the time. No joke, she loves it...Probably.

LOL.
Thats different to hitting her tho. Verbal abuse is fine.

[MAXSTARR]

...You fucking faggot, what you say is "Yeah it looks big you dumb whore, that's because you've been stuffing your fat ugly fucking whore mouth full of sandwhiches that were meant for me, so yes your arse looks fucking big".

Then punch her in the face.

+1 :hug:

hahahahahahaha.

its even better when she never ate the sandwiches, but because you've manipulated her so much, you make her believe she did.... which leads her to turning into an anorexic wreck, which leads to you finishing with her (by text)... ruining her life for the next few years until some sap takes her on and you tell him how you fucked the giblets out of her everynight and how you could have her back whenever you wanted, making him insecure about her and therefore ruining 2 lives with your actions. WIN.

[Bound]

+1 :hug:

hahahahahahaha.

its even better when she never ate the sandwiches, but because you've manipulated her so much, you make her believe she did.... which leads her to turning into an anorexic wreck, which leads to you finishing with her (by text)... ruining her life for the next few years until some sap takes her on and you tell him how you fucked the giblets out of her everynight and how you could have her back whenever you wanted, making him insecure about her and therefore ruining 2 lives with your actions. WIN.

You are an evil bastard, I mean literally, the most evil bastard ever. I would hire you if I was planning another lolocaust.

[MAXSTARR]

You are an evil bastard, I mean literally, the most evil bastard ever. I would hire you if I was planning another lolocaust.

the thing is........ i actually do this (not the sandwich bit)..... i couldn't just imagine this shizz haha, its the easiest and most cost effective way of having a relationship. id be up for leading the lolocaust aswell :A:

[smiith]

The thing i like doing, is letting them text you on a morning been nice, then dont text back all day, wait untill 5ish, and text em saying "aww that was a nice text" then when they ask where you have been, you say "oh it doesnt matter, you wont know them"

Then leave it untill the next day, makes them so insecure that they will not dare do anything to piss you off.. ever

[Lacey_106]

you boys are horrible. :shocked:

[Cammy]

you boys are horrible. :shocked:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/Dawalkr57/Posters/BSbag0001.jpg

[deans2k8]

you boys are horrible. :shocked:

thanks :( lol

[Lacey_106]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/Dawalkr57/Posters/BSbag0001.jpg

Ergh.... your avatar just made me throw up a little.... :n:

thanks :( lol

You seem nice. :y:

[Cammy]

Ergh.... your avatar just made me throw up a little.... :n:





haha

Main purpous of it, it comes up on google in the top 30 if you type in "animated avatar" or something like that, it made me LOL so i thought id disgust some people for an hour till i find a new one

[sr666]

we're not horrible Lacey. well not intentionally anyways :P

[Bound]

we're not horrible. well not intentionally anyway

I am. ____

[MAXSTARR]

I am. ____

and me...

[auds]

LOL funny....:P you men are useless lol.....you have one woman that has all those qualities and you throw it away in my experience :( no winning is there....I'm going lesbo :P

[auds]

The thing i like doing, is letting them text you on a morning been nice, then dont text back all day, wait untill 5ish, and text em saying "aww that was a nice text" then when they ask where you have been, you say "oh it doesnt matter, you wont know them"

Then leave it untill the next day, makes them so insecure that they will not dare do anything to piss you off.. ever

You single??? No actually I know the answer!! You're terrible for sure....that is just craziness....and one day you will get someone who does that to you lol......men!!!!

Fancy being my girlfriend Lacey :P I'll treat you good ;)

[DannoWilko]

You single??? No actually I know the answer!! You're terrible for sure....that is just craziness....and one day you will get someone who does that to you lol......men!!!!

Fancy being my girlfriend Lacey :P I'll treat you good ;)

No Lacey..... be mine, Ill treat you better.

+ I have a nice penis, Which does more use than Aud's man parts ;)

[auds]

No Lacey..... be mine, Ill treat you better.

+ I have a nice penis, Which does more use than Aud's man parts ;)

LMFARO you're a man lol you have no idea how to treat a woman lol :fcuk:

Plus I know what I'm doing in the bedroom department ;) hahahaha :A:

[Cammy]

LMFARO you're a man lol you have no idea how to treat a woman lol :fcuk:

Plus I know what I'm doing in the bedroom department ;) hahahaha :A:

Making my bed and sleeping on the couch?

Man... you are the PERFECT WOMAN :bored:

[DannoWilko]

LMFARO you're a man lol you have no idea how to treat a woman lol :fcuk:

Plus I know what I'm doing in the bedroom department ;) hahahaha :A:

HeHe, Not to sound big headed, like this :afro:........ but Iv'e NEVER had any complaints

[Bound]

HeHe, Not to sound big headed, like this :afro:........ but Iv'e NEVER had any complaints

How many birds have you slept with that roll over, spark up a fag and rate you out of ten?

Course they ain't gonna take the piss out of little wilko to your face.

How do you know?

The seeds of doubt have been sown.

[DannoWilko]

How many birds have you slept with that roll over, spark up a fag and rate you out of ten?

Course they ain't gonna take the piss out of little wilko to your face.

How do you know?

The seeds of doubt have been sown.

HAHAHA, you make a very intriguing point. However, Iv'e had a couple tell me they love me and 1 girl actually spray her love juice in my eyes, It hurt like fuckin hell aswell..

Bitch x

[auds]

HAHAHA, you make a very intriguing point. However, Iv'e had a couple tell me they love me and 1 girl actually spray her love juice in my eyes, It hurt like fuckin hell aswell..

Bitch x

You've just had easy to please girls lmao :P ;) hehe

[J222JRA]

I wonder if the OP has ever actually been in a relationship.....lol

[beckha]

It usually goes like this...

Man gets woman, woman is awesome, man doesn't appreciate woman, woman leaves for better man. Repeat cause they are all the same. Haha. :y:

x

[stevenet15]

Hi folks I keep seeing on here a few people who have had a few issues with their girlfriends so I figured I'd hand out 5 simple bits of advice to a perfect relationship

1. Firstly it's VERY important to have a woman that helps at home, cooks cleans and has a job When she dont stop moaning it eventually gets done

2. It's important to have a woman that can always make you laugh when you're feeling bad or even just in general yeah rite she makes me feel worse or gets on my case

3. It's also pretty important to have a woman that you can trust and would never lie to you Allready lied to me and i know it 100% seen it with my own eyes

4. It's important also have a woman who is great in bed and loves being with you shes pretty good when she actually puts out

Thought I'd share

Ryan

is my relationship doomed? lol

[jw1325]

Fancy being my girlfriend Lacey :P I'll treat you good ;)


eheh ... shes mine. ill rent her out for a pound and a mars bar an hour though....

2 pound and a twix for anal....

It usually goes like this...

Man gets woman, woman is awesome, man doesn't appreciate woman, woman leaves for better man. Repeat cause they are all the same. Haha. :y:

x


being one of the lads so much, i used to play lads at their own game, have 2 or 3 on the go at once, sell them all the same sob story about how no guy ever treated me right, and all i wanted was someone to appreciate me.... i shoulda got an oscar for some of my efforts.

all changed though when i met my match :) fell head over heels bbut was never gonna work as we couldnt trust eachother.

did me good though, never cheated / taken advantage of someone again since. well, iv only had one other short relationship since lol

[nicole_]

It usually goes like this...

Man gets woman, woman is awesome, man doesn't appreciate woman, woman leaves for better man. Repeat cause they are all the same. Haha. :y:

x

:hug:
when will men ever learn it is them that are the problem

[beckha]

:hug:
when will men ever learn it is them that are the problem

Never. It's in their genes to be idiots!

x

[nicole_]

Never. It's in their genes to be idiots!

x

i hope i have a boy, ill teach him how he should treat a girl properly :A:

[sr666]

I wonder if the OP has ever actually been in a relationship.....lol

Yep for 6 long years, I deserve a medal lol

[Tringaling]

Women were put on this earth to be bitches..

1) Bedroom = Kitchen
2) Kitchen = Bedroom

I prefer the terms:

"Where the FUCK is my dinner/lunch/breakfast"
"WHY is my washing still sat there"

You get the drift..

[Tringaling]

eheh ... shes mine. ill rent her out for a pound and a mars bar an hour though....

2 pound and a twix for anal....


Ill raise you a BOOST...

being one of the lads so much, i used to play lads at their own game, have 2 or 3 on the go at once, sell them all the same sob story about how no guy ever treated me right, and all i wanted was someone to appreciate me.... i shoulda got an oscar for some of my efforts.

all changed though when i met my match :) fell head over heels bbut was never gonna work as we couldnt trust eachother.

did me good though, never cheated / taken advantage of someone again since. well, iv only had one other short relationship since lol

Awww..

[beckha]

Women were put on this earth to be bitches..

1) Bedroom = Kitchen
2) Kitchen = Bedroom

I prefer the terms:

"Where the FUCK is my dinner/lunch/breakfast"
"WHY is my washing still sat there"

You get the drift..

Tring.... I love you. Your my hero.

xx

[Tringaling]

Tring.... I love you. Your my hero.

xx

If you love me put it in your sig ;) x

[Tringaling]

HAHAHA, you make a very intriguing point. However, Iv'e had a couple tell me they love me and 1 girl actually spray her love juice in my eyes, It hurt like fuckin hell aswell..

Bitch x

Your sister/immediate family doesnt count mate?

[beckha]

It won't fit. :(

x

[Tringaling]

It won't fit. :(

x

Take your other one out :P x

[beckha]

Haha.... it's okay you got it in yours now. ;)

x

[Cammy]

Haha.... it's okay you got it in yours now. ;)

x

Woah woah

Tring swings that way?

AHAHAHAHAHA ....... FAG :zainy:

[D--R--E--W]

Plus I know what I'm doing in the bedroom department ;) hahahaha :A:

Because you've had that much cock...... :S


being one of the lads so much, i used to play lads at their own game, have 2 or 3 on the go at once, sell them all the same sob story about how no guy ever treated me right, and all i wanted was someone to appreciate me.... i shoulda got an oscar for some of my efforts.


In the words of Dougie Daykin... SHHHLLLAAAGGGGGGGG!!!!!


i hope i have a boy, ill teach him how he should treat a girl properly :A:

By kicking her in the baby maker everytime she steps out of line?

[jw1325]

In the words of Dougie Daykin... SHHHLLLAAAGGGGGGGG!!!!!






you know me Drew ;) ha

[D--R--E--W]

you know me Drew ;) ha

Couldnt ever imagine you as a tramp tbh, you're too much of a bloke lol

[Tringaling]

Woah woah

Tring swings that way?

AHAHAHAHAHA ....... FAG :zainy:

GOD DAMMIT...

I detect Jealousy Cammy?

[Tringaling]

Haha.... it's okay you got it in yours now. ;)

x

Not good enough...:wink:

[Cammy]

GOD DAMMIT...

I detect Jealousy Cammy?


No :zainy:

Just a bit... :- (

[Tringaling]

Shame you woke up with surprise dribbling down your face YO!

[Cammy]

NSFW



She sat on me, and made me the happiest boy on earth.



NSFW
http://images.ebaumsworld.com/thumbs/avatars/toromaya/toromaya-1242166046.jpg

[Tringaling]

I am not a female, oops eye test time?

[Cammy]

I see ballsack.

[Tringaling]

Arabian Goggles! :D

[Cammy]

LOL

need6chartopost

[DannoWilko]

Your sister/immediate family doesnt count mate?

That sounds a little unfair Tring,

+ I'm not in love with someone anyway and it's not my mum, after last night, it's Maxtarr lol, he makes me giggle like a little girl on anphetamines

[auds]

eheh ... shes mine. ill rent her out for a pound and a mars bar an hour though....

2 pound and a twix for anal....

Lol cool....I can just about afford that ;)


Because you've had that much cock...... :S

Drewie :omg: I am shocked....but you're just jealous I have had more than you ;)

[Tringaling]

That sounds a little unfair Tring,

+ I'm not in love with someone anyway and it's not my mum, after last night, it's Maxtarr lol, he makes me giggle like a little girl on anphetamines

My bad YO :P

I have that effect on...schoolchildren

[DannoWilko]

My bad YO :P

I have that effect on...schoolchildren

Haha, it's a shame... I only have that effect on my dog!!! It's not really the same.:homme: