What would you do?

[SAM-S44MDS-]

Basically wondering what you lads would do in this situation;

1 of my best mates is proposing to his GF tomorrow at midnight :homme:
Now dont get me wrong I am happy for him, he is a top lad and she is a nice girl. He is happy with her, but he is only 20, and she is only 19. They have only known each other 9months aswell and met through work.

I know she will say yes...however, as I said he is a top lad, my drinking partner and can always rely on him for a good laugh and once he has proposed it will be the start of all that drifting away from us :(

I do want him to be happy....but I feel after only knowing her 9months he is rushing it abit. I dont want to split them up, just think I should maybe talk to him about holding off with the proposal for a while but dont want to seem a cunt, just kinda want to protect him before he gets in too deep and maybe regrets rushing...or even getting hurt. Obviously I want to carry on with the fun lad times too :zainy:

What would you do?

Let him propose
Talk to him about it

(awaits the fuck his bird/pics of said bird posts :panic: by all means have some banter, but some serious replies would be appreciated) :y:

[C4_Lew]

propose to him first

[SAM-S44MDS-]

propose to him first

Expected nothing less tbh :zainy: Had crossed my mind tbh for shits & giggles lol, dont think it would work though

[Gary-VTR]

I'd say leave him to it and let him make his own mistakes. At 19-20, they can't realistically afford a wedding (or can they?) so they'll be purely doing it just to say they're engaged - not to actually get married.

They'll last just as long as they would in a relationship, engagement ring or not. The fact they're doing it without any real thought shows they're not all that secure in the relationship so need a label to make them feel closer.

In short, I give it 6 months til he's single again.

[Prickle]

if hes happy with her.. lol

serious note; pics? :homme:

[SAM-S44MDS-]

I'd say leave him to it and let him make his own mistakes. At 19-20, they can't realistically afford a wedding (or can they?) so they'll be purely doing it just to say they're engaged - not to actually get married.

They'll last just as long as they would in a relationship, engagement ring or not. The fact they're doing it without any real thought shows they're not all that secure in the relationship so need a label to make them feel closer.

In short, I give it 6 months til he's single again.

This is what im worried about tbh. I can see him getting hurt, and to cut a long story short this lad has been there for me through alot of shit and helped me alot in my life, just wanna keep an eye out for him. Sounds pretty gay but im sure it will make sense to some people.
In 1 way im thinking leave him he's happy, but in another im thinking he aint thought it through and hes rushing etc, and maybe I should wake him up so to speak.

Trouble is he gets attatched really quick....oh and as for the wedding, yes he can afford it, and his rents could afford a few lol :panic:

[wassy78]

ask dear deirdre sun news paper lol . end of day your looking out for your mate but its his time to move on. if he's a true mate he will still be there for you

[Rogue_Shadow]

Too Young IMO

[SAM-S44MDS-]

ask dear deirdre sun news paper lol . end of day your looking out for your mate but its his time to move on. if he's a true mate he will still be there for you

Move on...its not like we have been a couple :fcuk: lol. I get you though mate, its not him not being here etc, we will always be mates. Its more the fact its only been 9months since they met....not since they got together though :panic: and as I said he gets attatched really easy....but then as things progress he drifts away and arguments start etc. Ive seen it happen to him in his last relationship too.

Oh.....and the lass already has a kid, not his


Too Young IMO

Too young and too soon IMO....but I dont wanna rush in there and make it look like im being a cunt trying to split them up etc


Just feel as though its a case of hes fell for her dead quick (like he normally does) hes happy now, and wants the ring there to try and 'protect' the relationship. Which isnt the right way imo, and I can just see 6months down the line having massive arguments etc, and him getting more hurt because of a ring. If that makes sense

[Peter_D]

Let him get on with it, doubt anything you say to him will change his mind

It's sad but it happens with everyone, i've drifted apart from some of my mates that are shacked up and i've done it myself a few times as you get too involved with them and spend all your time with them

Haven't really got back as good mates with my best mate after splitting up with my last bird, never seen him barely when i was with her as i didn't really have the time for him, which i regret now cos i'm not fucking her anymore and not getting to see him anymore.. Still mates with him but rarely see him and i feel shitty about it and too embarassed to go running back to him

Let him get on with it and hopefully he keeps his head screwed on and makes time for you aswell as her

[SAM-S44MDS-]

Let him get on with it, doubt anything you say to him will change his mind

It's sad but it happens with everyone, i've drifted apart from some of my mates that are shacked up and i've done it myself a few times as you get too involved with them and spend all your time with them

Haven't really got back as good mates with my best mate after splitting up with my last bird, never seen him barely when i was with her as i didn't really have the time for him, which i regret now cos i'm not fucking her anymore and not getting to see him anymore.. Still mates with him but rarely see him and i feel shitty about it and too embarassed to go running back to him

Let him get on with it and hopefully he keeps his head screwed on and makes time for you aswell as her


We have both been in relationships before for a few years and ALWAYS had time for each other....I even lived with 1 lass for 8months and still went out with him on the piss etc.

Just trying to avoid him getting fucked over down the line cos he cant really know everythin about her after 9months......he only found out she had a kid when they actually got together :panic:

As for you....stop being a stubborn c*nt and go back to your mates, im sure they will take you back :hug:

[wassy78]

Move on...its not like we have been a couple :fcuk: lol. I get you though mate, its not him not being here etc, we will always be mates. Its more the fact its only been 9months since they met....not since they got together though :panic: and as I said he gets attatched really easy....but then as things progress he drifts away and arguments start etc. Ive seen it happen to him in his last relationship too.

Oh.....and the lass already has a kid, not his


dont really matter on how long ive been with mine 2 years got pregnant in 5 weeks married 9 months after ........ but shes mint and a stunner so im not letting her go lol

[auds]

Short answer as I am off to bed.....just let him get on with it.....people have to learn through their own mistakes....then again it could all be happy ever after :D just be happy for them and there to pick up the pieces if all fails :P

night all xx

[Prickle]

......he only found out she had a kid when they actually got together :panic:


Keen.

That is all.

:panic:

night all xx

Night. ;)

[Dave_P]

Too young, they got there whole lifes ahead of them. Have a word...

[SAM-S44MDS-]

dont really matter on how long ive been with mine 2 years got pregnant in 5 weeks married 9 months after ........ but shes mint and a stunner so im not letting her go lol

I know time doesnt always matter, but as I said in a post above too....they got together BEFORE she mentioned she had a kid. So what else could she still not be telling him :S also as I said I feel the ring is just to protect his relationship, cos his last few have all gone the same way.

He falls for them, few months later big arguments start, arguments last month or 2...then they split.

I just think he is thinking the ring will stop that :S


God knows....from the replies though it seems as though I would be being a cunt if I said anything....so I may just let him crack on and hope for the best for the lad

[M1VT]

slap him across the face and take him to a strip club

he'll soon see sense

[SAM-S44MDS-]

Short answer as I am off to bed.....just let him get on with it.....people have to learn through their own mistakes....then again it could all be happy ever after :D just be happy for them and there to pick up the pieces if all fails :P

night all xx

Auds has spoken....that must be the best way tbf ;) Ill always be there if it does go tits. I do hope it works out for him though...deserves it. Just have a gut feeling it wont after knowing him since 3.yo things dont seem right...and he dont even seem 100% himself about it :S

Too young, they got there whole lifes ahead of them. Have a word...


Ahhh mixed bloody opinions :panic:

[wassy78]

im glad your being there for him, only thing you can do is say how you feel least you have done your bit... then its up to him

[SAM-S44MDS-]

slap him across the face and take him to a strip club

he'll soon see sense

Slap him with my hand or my cock? :S

[SAM-S44MDS-]

im glad your being there for him, only thing you can do is say how you feel least you have done your bit... then its up to him

Least I could do for him tbh....hes done more than enough other way round.

I know what you mean...say my bit and explain its up to him, but it might come across cuntish no? :S

[wassy78]

no should be ok dont be to hard . just say mate been doing my tree in but.. i think its to soon and dont want you getting hurt .. but if its what you want ill be there for you ... least you have said whats on your mind

[wassy78]

god i need to change my job wonder if the sun has any jobs going

[Gary-VTR]

Rather than say outright to him "It's too soon!", try make him realise himself that he doesn't know the girl well enough just yet.

Ie, 'met her parents/family yet?', 'thought about moving in together first?', 'met the father of her kid yet?' etc.

[Pieface]

Let him do what he wants?

You're sounding a tad selfish. It seems you don't want him to get proposed because you will lose him as a drinking partner, and then using the short time they knew each other as an excuse to make you feel better. If he's been in relationships before, that have gone wrong, then surely he must know if this one feels different enough to propose.

[M1VT]

Slap him with my hand or my cock? :S
either tbh mate

[SAM-S44MDS-]

Rather than say outright to him "It's too soon!", try make him realise himself that he doesn't know the girl well enough just yet.

Ie, 'met her parents/family yet?', 'thought about moving in together first?', 'met the father of her kid yet?' etc.

Good shout mate :y: he has met the rents etc though cos they both still live at home....but I could always ask him have you thought about moving in together...how much it will cost etc. Get him thinking :A: I dont want to influence his decision...but I do want him to be 100% certain before he does...and I can tell hes unsure himself

Let him do what he wants?

You're sounding a tad selfish. It seems you don't want him to get proposed because you will lose him as a drinking partner, and then using the short time they knew each other as an excuse to make you feel better. If he's been in relationships before, that have gone wrong, then surely he must know if this one feels different enough to propose.

Read the whole thread please mate before you post. As I said in a later post its not about me losing him as a mate because we will always go out etc....that was just to give an insight into the type of lad he is.
Whats worrying me is ive known him 17years...and I can tell he doesnt feel 100% about his decision....but seems to think it will solve his issues. He was even unsure when telling me if it was a good idea or not because he asked my opinion and I just shrugged cos didnt know if to say anything or not...thats what got me thinking, and why I made the thread.
Like I said in another post...I do want him to be happy, he deserves it....I dont want to split them up, just dont know if its right for him yet to be proposing...

I know it sounds selfish..hence I said it sounds cuntish myself, and hence asking for advice at what to .

[wassy78]

and i dont mean to sound funny by saying this.... but if you was my mate knowing you have put this on the net i would flip :( i know your only asking but like i said its up to him really m8

[SAM-S44MDS-]

and i dont mean to sound funny by saying this.... but if you was my mate knowing you have put this on the net i would flip :( i know your only asking but like i said its up to him really m8

No names are mentioned blahdy blah nobody know him....and tbf he wouldnt give a shit anyway :A:

I know its his choice in the end.....im not saying im gonna try and influence his decision etc. Like I said I just want to know if people would talk to him or not if it was them. Im not gonna go upto him and say mate dont do it...or mate I dont want you to etc. Cos in all honesty....I do want him to :S I just want to make sure he has thought it all through...but I know he hasnt.
Just I think that if I was him...and he was me....I would want him to say something to me...I think lol

[wassy78]

i know well good luck to you and your friend and his gf

[Prickle]

just cos' hes getting ingaged..doesnt mean to say hes getting married a week later. he could be ingaged for years.

Ask him how long hes going to wait till he ties the knot. :homme:

[SAM-S44MDS-]

just cos' hes getting ingaged..doesnt mean to say hes getting married a week later. he could be ingaged for years.

Ask him how long hes going to wait till he ties the knot. :homme:

I've decided im just gonna bum him and try and turn him gay :y:

[ollsaxogti]

ive been throught the exact same thing with one of my best mates beginning of this year , the girl hes seeing was a bit mental like she wouldnt let him come out on the piss and stuff like that , and they had only been together like a year when he told me he wanted to propose to her , and we all thought is would have been over sooner TBH , anyhow i spoke to him and said is this what you want and he said yes , i wasnt gonna stand in the way of that TBH , all i can do is be happy for him and always be there for him, like he is me , anyway they have turned out ok they havnt got married yet but they are really happy together engaged and she is really sound now if im honest .

all you can do is be there for him mate as im sure you always have been before , they could end up spending the rest of their lives together

anyhow hope this helps

[loudandproud205]

Shouldnt worry about it I've been engaged about 11 times 4 times to the same lass.

It's a passing thing as he think's it's what she want's to hear.

There is no set time when or for how long you need to be engaged for so I'd worry not my first engagement was at around 18 as I wanted anal and I knew if I said the word's it would be game set and match :D

Now am more mature thou and try mean stuff but nearly 15 years of being the cunt does leave a bad rep :(

[myk1992]

Pics or she dont exist :)

[SAM-S44MDS-]

Shouldnt worry about it I've been engaged about 11 times 4 times to the same lass.

It's a passing thing as he think's it's what she want's to hear.

the is no set time when or for how long you need to be engaged for so I'd worry not my first engagement was at around 18 as I wanted anal and I knew if I said the word's it would be game set and match :D

Now am more mature thou and try mean stuff but over 10 years of being the cunt does leave a bad rep :(

Fucking lol. 11 times? Id give up :panic: credits to you for sticking at it though.....or should I be smackin you round the head tryin to knock some sense into you? :S lol.

I think it is a passing thing.....she wants to hear it, he wants to do it cos he thinks it will keep them together.

Just dont want him getting really attatched to her then it going wrong, a ring will make it worse. And believe me, he gets in some states when hes fallen for them it actually makes me feel upset :homme:

[Prickle]

I've decided im just gonna bum him and try and turn him gay :y:

worst comes to worst i suppose.. :cool:

[SAM-S44MDS-]

ive been throught the exact same thing with one of my best mates beginning of this year , the girl hes seeing was a bit mental like she wouldnt let him come out on the piss and stuff like that , and they had only been together like a year when he told me he wanted to propose to her , and we all thought is would have been over sooner TBH , anyhow i spoke to him and said is this what you want and he said yes , i wasnt gonna stand in the way of that TBH , all i can do is be happy for him and always be there for him, like he is me , anyway they have turned out ok they havnt got married yet but they are really happy together engaged and she is really sound now if im honest .

all you can do is be there for him mate as im sure you always have been before , they could end up spending the rest of their lives together

anyhow hope this helps


Cheers fella....helps alot from someone who has been there :y: In all honesty his lass is a top girl. I dont have any issues with her....just being protective over a mate thats all :homme:

Reading what you said then...you actually spoke to him about it yea? You actually asked if he was sure etc?

[SAM-S44MDS-]

worst comes to worst i suppose.. :cool:

Gotta be worth a shot, no? :zainy:

[Gary-VTR]

shouldnt worry about it i've been engaged about 11 times 4 times to the same lass.

It's a passing thing as he think's it's what she want's to hear.

There is no set time when or for how long you need to be engaged for so i'd worry not my first engagement was at around 18 as i wanted anal and i knew if i said the word's it would be game set and match :d

now am more mature thou and try mean stuff but nearly 15 years of being the cunt does leave a bad rep :(

LOOOLLLLL!!
Bet it worked eh?

[ollsaxogti]

Shouldnt worry about it I've been engaged about 11 times 4 times to the same lass.

It's a passing thing as he think's it's what she want's to hear.

There is no set time when or for how long you need to be engaged for so I'd worry not my first engagement was at around 18 as I wanted anal and I knew if I said the word's it would be game set and match :D

Now am more mature thou and try mean stuff but nearly 15 years of being the cunt does leave a bad rep :(

did you get ya brown wings is what we wanna know ? ! ;)

[SAM-S44MDS-]

did you get ya brown wings is what we wanna know ? ! ;)

I think this needs answering tbh

[loudandproud205]

Already had them but she vowed she wouldn't do anal, and there was no way I was having that, I saw it as a goal that needed to be achieved.

But yes the lady in question did exactly as I planned she would.

Yeah I'd go with 11 possibly more as I say what need's to be said, 'caught cheating? now's the time to explain and its because you need more commitment and if she does feel the same would now be the wrong time to suggest..........'

You get the picture ;)

[ollsaxogti]

Cheers fella....helps alot from someone who has been there :y: In all honesty his lass is a top girl. I dont have any issues with her....just being protective over a mate thats all :homme:

Reading what you said then...you actually spoke to him about it yea? You actually asked if he was sure etc?

I just sat down with him when he told me and i asked him if its what he wanted and if it would make him happy and he told me she was the one , to be honest i didnt see them lasting , but to my surprise its totally changed their relationship , she cuts him alot more slack and i see him alot more .

we (me and all my mates) are all pretty close ,like brothers, which im sure you are , as long as my mates are ok ,and i count on them as they count on me , il stand by whatever decision they make in life .

[ollsaxogti]

Already had them but she vowed she wouldn't do anal, and there was no way I was having that, I saw it as a goal that needed to be achieved.

But yes the lady in question did exactly as I planned she would

anal blitzkrieg !!!!!!

[SAM-S44MDS-]

Already had them but she vowed she wouldn't do anal, and there was no way I was having that, I saw it as a goal that needed to be achieved.

But yes the lady in question did exactly as I planned she would

Result :y:

I just sat down with him when he told me and i asked him if its what he wanted and if it would make him happy and he told me she was the one , to be honest i didnt see them lasting , but to my surprise its totally changed their relationship , she cuts him alot more slack and i see him alot more .

we (me and all my mates) are all pretty close ,like brothers, which im sure you are , as long as my mates are ok ,and i count on them as they count on me , il stand by whatever decision they make in life .

Spot on fella thanks for that. We are, by the sounds of it exactly like your mates. All gone seperate ways after school (IE some work, some college then to UNI) but all stayed close mates. She doesnt mind him going out etc so all is good in that bit :y: Was just unsure if checking he was certain was being a bit patronising etc. Im pretty sure my mate would understand and take no offence though, just wanted more opinions :A:

Just gonna have a chat to him tomorrow before he goes to pick her up...makes sure he has thought it through and is 100% certain. If hes happy, then im happy for him :A: Ill respect what he decides. Im not gonna mention I feel its too soon etc, thats up to him to decide. Just purely gonna make sure its what he 100% wants.

Problem solved
/thread

[ollsaxogti]

Result :y:



Spot on fella thanks for that. We are, by the sounds of it exactly like your mates. All gone seperate ways after school (IE some work, some college then to UNI) but all stayed close mates. She doesnt mind him going out etc so all is good in that bit :y: Was just unsure.

Just gonna have a chat to him tomorrow before he goes to pick her up...makes sure he has thought it through and is 100% certain. If hes happy, then im happy for him :A: Ill respect what he decides.

Problem solved
/thread

good luck to your mate too seriously

[SAM-S44MDS-]

good luck to your mate too seriously

If he does it I know for a fact she will say yes :A: If its what he really wants I really do hope it works for him too :homme:
Cheers pal

[CEdwards]

well mate what i would do is sit him down and talk about it, make sure he does what he wants, either do that or he MIGHT make a mistake and go ahead with it, but then youre gonna have to see him in distress few months down the line IF it hasnt gone well, etc. Up to you though mate, he seems too loved up to notice what hes getting himself into.

[SAM-S44MDS-]

well mate what i would do is sit him down and talk about it, make sure he does what he wants, either do that or he MIGHT make a mistake and go ahead with it, but then youre gonna have to see him in distress few months down the line IF it hasnt gone well, etc. Up to you though mate, he seems too loved up to notice what hes getting himself into.


I know what your saying. Decided just gonna go see him tomorrow before he goes and picks her up and have a quick chat. Nothing deep as I dont want to influence him. Just gonna make sure he has thought it through etc, and that he is 100% certain its what he wants.
If it is....then let it be. Just want him to realise it is quite a big step he is taking.
Thanks :y:

[Moke]

Mate, you're trying to tell me, in disguise, that you're gonna propose to me? :fcuk:

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

;)

[SAM-S44MDS-]

Mate, you're trying to tell me, in disguise, that you're gonna propose to me? :fcuk:

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

;)

Ye :oops: im also trying to tell everyone its a big mistake :panic:

Bed time now..night faggot :hug:

[Moke]

Ye :oops: im also trying to tell everyone its a big mistake :panic:

Bed time now..night faggot :hug:

:sweetheart:

You'll have to let us know what happens :y:

[Si-Gore]

Pffft bet he hasn't even gotten you a ring :S

[Paul]

Kidnap him on the day.

[auds]

Pffft bet he hasn't even gotten you a ring :S

Not the diamond kind :fcuk:

[SAM-S44MDS-]

Kidnap him on the day.

Best plan yet Paul :y:

Not the diamond kind :fcuk:

Auds im shocked at you.........oh wait, :p

[auds]

Best plan yet Paul :y:



Auds im shocked at you.........oh wait, :p

hehe:innocent: :A:

[Kai]

I say talk to him as at least you're showing that you care about him and have his best interests at heart. As you've said its not like you're going to split them up, just advise him that he always gets attached quickly and that if he wants this relationship to last and be better than his previous ones then he needs to slow it down and really think it through?
Worst case scenario he moans at you for trying to stop him and does it anyway, you're still mates and you tried.
Best case scenario he listens to you, postpones it and then your friendship is increased even further! :)

[SAM-S44MDS-]

I say talk to him as at least you're showing that you care about him and have his best interests at heart. As you've said its not like you're going to split them up, just advise him that he always gets attached quickly and that if he wants this relationship to last and be better than his previous ones then he needs to slow it down and really think it through?
Worst case scenario he moans at you for trying to stop him and does it anyway, you're still mates and you tried.
Best case scenario he listens to you, postpones it and then your friendship is increased even further! :)


Cheers fella :y: As I said further up...gonna have a quick chat with him and make sure he realises what he is doing. He wont moan, he will understand...I think :S lol