Apartment sex...

[Oli_K]

Ok, so who lives in an apartment block or a block of flats and have overly loud neighbors?

I do. Three times a day.

It's literally as if they are in the same room as me, wouldn't be too bad if it was just her I could hear but he is actually comically loud :(

Anyone had the problem, or have suggestions on how to get even?

Discuss.

[Peter_D]

Sound clips or GTFO

[Rudpud]

Shag their missus, let him hear it :)

[-shuggles-]

have sex twice as loud?

[WheresMeNuts]

Tell the truth OP you Spank the Monkey 3 times a day now ?

[Gary-VTR]

YES. My neighbour at my last flat was some fat manly bitch that lived alone and was on benefits (so home all day everyday). Could hear her strumming herself off 2-3 times a day. Was fucking horrific. :|

[Prickle]

Knock on their door and join in? :homme:

[LeeM]

a "friend" of mine nearly got an asbo for making too much noise during sex. shes very loud though

[Oli_K]

Shag their missus, let him hear it :)

She's a munter mate, no ta.

have sex twice as loud?

I was thinking this but shouting and roaring doesn't do it for her

Tell the truth OP you Spank the Monkey 3 times a day now ?

Haha

[Rudpud]

Haha

No denial.

[Peter_D]

I would just pretend i'm wanking to the noises they make, and make noises myself so they hear me

Like "oh yeah, yeah you like that dont ya bitch, come on, come for me baby, oh...wait...wait...wait...AND boom goes the dynamite"

Then collapse on the floor

Will probably disturb them into being quieter, either that or they might be exhibitionists and get turned on knowing you can hear, so will get even louder, in which case the noises will be even more audible for you to pull your plumbs to whilst daydreaming of doing the dirty deed yourself one day you saddo

chortle

[Bound]

Everyone knows you get a broom and jab the ceiling to get them to shut up, this is a standard cranky old granny procedure.

[Bound]

Here is a visual demonstration;

http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1606/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1606-39200.jpg

[WheresMeNuts]

Or this one...........

http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w88/tigerplank/monkey__75759_zoom.jpg

[Oli_K]

I would just pretend i'm wanking to the noises they make, and make noises myself so they hear me

Like "oh yeah, yeah you like that dont ya bitch, come on, come for me baby, oh...wait...wait...wait...AND boom goes the dynamite"

Then collapse on the floor

Will probably disturb them into being quieter, either that or they might be exhibitionists and get turned on knowing you can hear, so will get even louder, in which case the noises will be even more audible for you to pull your plumbs to whilst daydreaming of doing the dirty deed yourself one day you saddo

chortle

Lol funny guy! Not sure about knocking one out while daydreaming though...

[jeffo10]

YES. My neighbour at my last flat was some fat manly bitch that lived alone and was on benefits (so home all day everyday). Could hear her strumming herself off 2-3 times a day. Was fucking horrific. :|

lmao thats unlucky mate haha fuck that

[The_Doctor]

Don't F*** around and film it.. make some moneys!!

[wassy78]

beat them at there own game if you carnt put a porn on full blast and on the front of you door put a hotel hanger on saying do not desturb :)

[Tringaling]

I would knock at their door and stand there bashing one out..

[wassy78]

i was going to say that but knowing my luck i would be over and out by the time they open the door ...............tissue please :)

[Tringaling]

I am just sick enough to do something like this though?

[Abass123]

ide knock and ask to join in :D

[WheresMeNuts]

It's probably 2 lesbians & you are just hear the male one going at it.

[hellonpluto]

wank to the rhythm of the groovy beat

you can get court orders, i've read about this before.

[devilsadvocate]

I have upstairs neighbours who are loud as fuck, more so when having sex
I have twice knocked on the door and asked them to keep the noise down but they continue to do it later on.

Next step is to strap my subwoofer to the roof (their floor), stick on some bass music and go to work :)