Possesiveness With Other Half?...

[D1on]

Me And The GF have been happy together for over 2 years now :)
Given i'm 20 and shes just turned 18.. she's started to go out round the town the odd time...

Now in other relationships iv never ever been bothered about things like this and been layed back. But from the start my girlfriend has been possesive so iv stopped going out for nights out..

Over the past year say shes went out twice and lied about it but iv found out. Which i do understand cause she must of been feeling bad about my reaction, which isnt a nice way to be i dont suppose. anyway we sorted our problems out and months ago she gave me an ultimatum.
Either we Finish or we be together but also she can go out with her friends. I Picked the second option..

Since she has only been out twice and once was on a week night..

Her Works Christmas Do Is coming up on a Saturday Night round town and i hate having the feeling of worry...

Anyone Advice Me About This?
Their must be other people in similar positions...?

Thanks Guys :)

[gavswav_VTR]

Why do people bother especially at 20 and 18. When I was your age if I had to think too hard about something I'd just move on to the next thing until I found something or someone worth my time. It sounds like she's taking the piss IMO just end up in a fight if you can't trust each other. And it's the Christmas party, probably get too drunk and rub her boss off. Life's too short for moaning and fighting.
On to the next one!

[Prickle]

Why do people bother especially at 20 and 18. !

wot m8? y not...

Me and my gf met at 16 and we're both 22 near 23 and still going strong. 6yrs..

everyone different


Anyway if theres no trust then what is there? :wacko:

Ride the xmas party out, when she gets back chuck her on the bed and sniff her minj for semen.

[DAMSK11]

wot m8? y not...

Me and my gf met at 16 and we're both 22 near 23 and still going strong. 6yrs..

everyone different


Anyway if theres no trust then what is there? :wacko:

Ride the xmas party out, when she gets back chuck her on the bed and sniff her minj for semen.

New sig right there...

[mlawlan69]

30 posts...really..?

your asking a car forum for dear diedre advice mate.

sack it off, lifes too short for worrying about some bird out on the tiles.

[D1on]

Thing Is..
we are happy together hence the reason the other times shes been out shes came back to me and carried on normally and happy...

I think its more my problem than her...

[Kebabman]

At the end of the day you're both still young and want to go out. If she's going out and you can't trust her then that's your issue. If there's a reason not to trust her then fair enough, if not, you're just getting over jealous. However, if you've stopped going out because of her it's a bit different, she should either do the same or you should go out and get lashed as well!

Personally, I go out on the lash occasionally and the missus doesn't care. Most of the time she puts a clause on it that I don't come home (or sleep on the sofa), because I'm an ass after a load of beer, but she never stops me going out. At the end of the day it's all about trust. If you can't trust her to go out with her mates, you shouldn't be together. You can't live your whole lives stopping each other going out in case something happens. Either there is trust between you, or there isn't. End of. IMO.

[mlawlan69]

Thing Is..
we are happy together hence the reason the other times shes been out shes came back to me and carried on normally and happy...

I think its more my problem than her...

your happy she comes back after a night out?? where would she go?!

who is she florence nightingale?

its your age trust me, you will soon see its not worth worrying about, if you trusted her, you wouldnt give a shit.

imagine next year when shes off ibiza with her mates, youll be fucking awake for the whole duration of her holiday!

[D1on]

At the end of the day you're both still young and want to go out. If she's going out and you can't trust her then that's your issue. If there's a reason not to trust her then fair enough, if not, you're just getting over jealous. However, if you've stopped going out because of her it's a bit different, she should either do the same or you should go out and get lashed as well!

Personally, I go out on the lash occasionally and the missus doesn't care. Most of the time she puts a clause on it that I don't come home (or sleep on the sofa), because I'm an ass after a load of beer, but she never stops me going out. At the end of the day it's all about trust. If you can't trust her to go out with her mates, you shouldn't be together. You can't live your whole lives stopping each other going out in case something happens. Either there is trust between you, or there isn't. End of. IMO.

Shes not done anything for me not to trust her?...

I Guess what your saying is i should carry on...
Start Trusting her and Whatever Happens.. Happens? :)

[Kebabman]

Shes not done anything for me not to trust her?...

I Guess what your saying is i should carry on...
Start Trusting her and Whatever Happens.. Happens? :)

Too right. If you have any reason not to trust her then it would be a bit different. If not, let her do what the hell she wants. If she fucks up and screws the relationship over it's better she does it earlier rather than later (because you tried to stop her going out and she ended up resenting you for it etc). You can't hold each other down all the time. Get on with your lives. On the same note, you should go out whenever the hell you want as well!! (within reason obviously)

[Yamaha318]

If she shits on you then shit on her 10 times harder.

[robster247]

Getting cheated on is the worst feelings ever if it happens to you, happened to me a couple of years back now, my girlfriend knecked on with another bloke on a night out. I pretended it was all okay when she told me herself what she did.

I put it off for a week went out drinking on the weekend and slept with her best friend, I openly confronted her and told her what I did haha.

After that I walked out never to say a single word to her since, and that was after nearly 2 years of being in a relationship with her.

[D1on]

Yeah its a good point :)
Like i say i never used to be like this i just ended up like it.
Im going to start trusting her and get on with things. and im sure we'll be ok :)

If she was to mess the relationship up then thats her fault and would of happened anyway :)

[D1on]

Getting cheated on is the worst feelings ever if it happens to you, happened to me a couple of years back now, my girlfriend knecked on with another bloke on a night out. I pretended it was all okay when she told me herself what she did.

I put it off for a week went out drinking on the weekend and slept with her best friend, I openly confronted her and told her what I did haha.

After that I walked out never to say a single word to her since, and that was after nearly 2 years of being in a relationship with her.

I know thats why i initially done this thread..
Cause it is a Worrying Thought...
But at the same time i guess if she was going to do it. She'd do it...?
Its better than her sneaking out not telling me..

[Kebabman]

If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship!! If she does cheat on you, you'll find out, the relationship will end and you'll have learnt a lesson and you'll be glad to be rid of her. If not, then you've god a solid relationship. You can't try to hold your other half down, it never works and you'll end up hating each other for it long term.

[robster247]

I know thats why i initially done this thread..
Cause it is a Worrying Thought...
But at the same time i guess if she was going to do it. She'd do it...?
Its better than her sneaking out not telling me..

Yes its worrying, but if either of your are thinking about that thought then surely its not going to work ?

Trust is pretty much the key factor in a relationship (along with sex) you either have it or you don't. And from my perspective you don't trust your lass

[Prickle]

And from my perspective you don't trust your lass

Agreed...

[Jamie]

Yes its worrying, but if either of your are thinking about that thought then surely its not going to work ?

Trust is pretty much the key factor in a relationship (along with sex) you either have it or you don't. And from my perspective you don't trust your lass

Well fuck me here we have Jeremy Robster. :y:

[robster247]

Well fuck me here we have Jeremy Robster. :y:

Haha this made me giggle, and I try my best ;)

[D1on]

If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship!! If she does cheat on you, you'll find out, the relationship will end and you'll have learnt a lesson and you'll be glad to be rid of her. If not, then you've god a solid relationship. You can't try to hold your other half down, it never works and you'll end up hating each other for it long term.

Your one of a Few Who's Offered Decent Advice :)

And Thanks :)
I'v Realised its time to start trusting and be happy while we are together..
if Anything Happens It Happens :)

[Kebabman]

Your one of a Few Who's Offered Decent Advice :)

And Thanks :)
I'v Realised its time to start trusting and be happy while we are together..
if Anything Happens It Happens :)

No problem. Now go get on with your life, you only live once, don't bloody waste it being a jealous twat ;)

[D1on]

No problem. Now go get on with your life, you only live once, don't bloody waste it being a jealous twat ;)

:) ;) :)

[wicked-vtr]

So she stopped you going out? You just bent over and took it, but you try to stop her and she threatens to break up?

Fuck that, double standard ftl

[christoph]

We need a agony auntie section for this kinda crap :y:

[Davyy]

So she stopped you going out? You just bent over and took it, but you try to stop her and she threatens to break up?

Fuck that, double standard ftl

hahaha agreed, treated like the bitch big time!

[haz_pro]

So she stopped you going out? You just bent over and took it, but you try to stop her and she threatens to break up?

Fuck that, double standard ftl

I came to say this; either throw her to the curb or sort her out. Nothing I can't stand more than this, luckily I haven't had this issue in my relationship.

[devilsadvocate]

In this day an age, the chances of you being together in 5/10 years time is so slim that you would more likely win the lottery.

Once the lies start, its a slippery slope and you have to ask yourself if you or she should have to lie to each other....if the answer is yes then its only a matter of time.

[Brettles1986]

Doomed for failure unfortunately.

As devilsadvocate has said, as soon as the lies start, the trust and anything worth having in a relationship goes out the window.

Finish it and save the money of xmas presents :y:

[Carl-h]

I used to have big trust issues but for no real reason. The amount of stress I gave myself was stupid. It wasn't conscious but one day it all stopped and I was fine about stuff. I don't think you can make yourself trust someone, you either do or you don't.

I don't like town much so don't really bother with it nowadays but my missus does and as long as she texts me when she's home safe I don't mind at all. I usually get a text while I'm on the way to work as I start at stupid O'clock in the morning lol.

[matt_vtr_15a]

It personally didn't bother me when my ex went to her christmas work due...

So what all the guys want to shag the young girl that they work with in a predominately male environment...

With the additional beers that your girlfriend and the guys she works with will have had plus the festive feel good factor.. yeah she may give one of the guys smelly fingers or a cheeky blow in the cab home...

But what you dont know dont hurt you so just let her enjoy herself :y:

P.S your 18 & 20 and already have relationship issues, I give it another 6 months so don't get too worked up about her going out... you should also go out yourself!

Theres nothing worse than lads that fuck off all their mates for a bit of fanny!!

[MuZiZZle]

OP, please don't dirch her, I don't want her asking to move in!

[wicked-vtr]

Theres nothing worse than lads that fuck off all their mates for a bit of fanny!!

Amen brother

[LSOfreak]

sounds like such an immature relationship

whats the point of being together if you're acting like each others parents?

the second a bitch tries telling me when i can or cant see my friends, im out of there.

[devilsadvocate]

sounds like such an immature relationship

whats the point of being together if you're acting like each others parents?

the second a bitch tries telling me when i can or cant see my friends, im out of there.

There has to be some give and take in an adult relationship.

If your attitude is 'I will do what I like when I like' then you are either with a girl who is young and doesn't know any better or you are single.

Being possesive and saying your partner is never allowed to go out with his/her friends is going to lead to a break up eventually but when your partner asks you not to go out one evening because they want to spend some time with you or they have something else planned etc then you have to conceed sometimes.

I have given up nights out with mates before because Nat wanted to do something else, its what you do in an adult relationship. If you both won't compromise then you are wasting your time...

[MuZiZZle]

the simple solution is brutal anal, if that doesn't fix it, boot her out

[jay-vtr]

if you don't trust her then u'll end up pushing her away and the chances are she'll be banging loadsa blokes behind your back who are more laid back and have a bigger penis/more money. FACT

Life's too short.

If you don't trust her then fuck her off and find someone you do trust.

HOWEVER...

If she takes it in the shitter then she might be a keeper

[Nik_L]

This is the sort of relationships that don't last.

Go with a young lass, and as soon as they turn 18 they want to go out on the piss, to clubs etc. Start going out with there single friends, see what they are doing, having a good time being single, getting it on with randoms, and then think that's what they wan't too instead of being tied down in a relationship.

Its the immaturity that takes over. My advice would be to not expect it to have a happy ending. Go out and have fun and live a little.

Im 28, and have seen it umpteen times over the years with mates and what not, more so when i was your age. Its predictable.

[Gandi699]

This is the sort of relationships that don't last.

Go with a young lass, and as soon as they turn 18 they want to go out on the piss, to clubs etc. Start going out with there single friends, see what they are doing, having a good time being single, getting it on with randoms, and then think that's what they wan't too instead of being tied down in a relationship.

Its the immaturity that takes over. My advice would be to not expect it to have a happy ending. Go out and have fun and live a little.

Im 28, and have seen it umpteen times over the years with mates and what not, more so when i was your age. Its predictable.

I'm your age too and they still do that at 28

[Carlvtr88]

Me And The GF have been happy together for over 2 years now :)
Given i'm 20 and shes just turned 18.. she's started to go out round the town the odd time...

Now in other relationships iv never ever been bothered about things like this and been layed back. But from the start my girlfriend has been possesive so iv stopped going out for nights out..

Over the past year say shes went out twice and lied about it but iv found out. Which i do understand cause she must of been feeling bad about my reaction, which isnt a nice way to be i dont suppose. anyway we sorted our problems out and months ago she gave me an ultimatum.
Either we Finish or we be together but also she can go out with her friends. I Picked the second option..

Since she has only been out twice and once was on a week night..

Her Works Christmas Do Is coming up on a Saturday Night round town and i hate having the feeling of worry...

Anyone Advice Me About This?
Their must be other people in similar positions...?

Thanks Guys :)

What does she wear. If its a nice closed in dress and subtle make up...... worry not my friend.

On the other hand, if shes into leather, is a bit of a character and wears shit loads of make up you might aswell say goodbye.

[MuZiZZle]

What does she wear. If its a nice closed in dress and subtle make up...... worry not my friend.

On the other hand, if shes into leather, is a bit of a character and wears shit loads of make up you might aswell say goodbye.

wow, really?

really though?

[Jamie]

What does she wear. If its a nice closed in dress and subtle make up...... worry not my friend.

On the other hand, if shes into leather, is a bit of a character and wears shit loads of make up you might aswell say goodbye.

Special.

[rob_s]

Get shut

I was in same situation and same ages a few years back

She then went off to uni and the first freshers night took someone back to her room

We split,she got a right reputation whilst at uni!... And is now with my cousin... Who I don't speak to anyway lol



But yea looking back I cringe at how that relationship was,ie fucking stupid


Iv also seen it happen to others I know aswell

[Jay_T87]

What does she wear. If its a nice closed in dress and subtle make up...... worry not my friend.

On the other hand, if shes into leather, is a bit of a character and wears shit loads of make up you might aswell say goodbye.

Really?

[D1on]

Yeah shes not one to go out randomly though..
its only special occasions and such...
other than this we get on fine and are really happy together..

Just got to see what happens i guess..

[Ryan]

It amazes me how people venture outside at times with the trust issues they have.

[Prickle]

Special.

I was going to say 'bless you' but that looks better...

[Carlvtr88]

wow, really?

really though?

I don't know what you guys on about with " really " ? and " Special " .

But i'll spell it out for you if you didn't catch my drift.

My point is, if she's going dressed like a slag ( no offence OP ) but she's young, probably naive and she's gonna see other lads she thinks are fit. Likewise, they might think she looks easy.

Then add drink......... perfect setup for her to cheat on this dude. Especially if she's feeling vulnerable after an argument.



My point about the subtle clothes and make up is, if she's less on show, shes less likely to have the lads gorping over her, attracting the wrong attention.

Everyone's probably seen the club slag, tits almost out, arse hanging out ..... lagging hanging with a bunch of lads......... each hoping they are going the be the lucky one to fuck it. Then ditch it in the morning.

[b0t13]

carl has a point,

if shes already lieing then expect it to not end well eventually, even if you do get on together,

shes 18 and drunk = stupid and stuff will happen

[haz_pro]

In this day an age, the chances of you being together in 5/10 years time is so slim that you would more likely win the lottery.

Why do you say that lol?

[Oli_K]

OP smokes weed.

FACT. might not be but o well

[devilsadvocate]

Why do you say that lol?

Because is true, how many 25 year old are still with the person they dated when 20?

I'm certainly not.

[Oli_K]

Because is true, how many 25 year old are still with the person they dated when 20?

I'm certainly not.

Lol, comparing it to winning lottery though ?

1 in 116,531,800.

I know a fair few who got together 15/16 and still together 24-30.

Some even married/have kids.

Most don't i agree with you, but its by no means uncommon.

[LSOfreak]

There has to be some give and take in an adult relationship.

If your attitude is 'I will do what I like when I like' then you are either with a girl who is young and doesn't know any better or you are single.
Being possesive and saying your partner is never allowed to go out with his/her friends is going to lead to a break up eventually but when your partner asks you not to go out one evening because they want to spend some time with you or they have something else planned etc then you have to conceed sometimes.

I have given up nights out with mates before because Nat wanted to do something else, its what you do in an adult relationship. If you both won't compromise then you are wasting your time...

or both of you are mature enough to not control each others lives ;)

[stevo67]

Me And The GF have been happy together for over 2 years now :)
Given i'm 20 and shes just turned 18.. she's started to go out round the town the odd time...

Now in other relationships iv never ever been bothered about things like this and been layed back. But from the start my girlfriend has been possesive so iv stopped going out for nights out..

Over the past year say shes went out twice and lied about it but iv found out. Which i do understand cause she must of been feeling bad about my reaction, which isnt a nice way to be i dont suppose. anyway we sorted our problems out and months ago she gave me an ultimatum.
Either we Finish or we be together but also she can go out with her friends. I Picked the second option..

Since she has only been out twice and once was on a week night..

Her Works Christmas Do Is coming up on a Saturday Night round town and i hate having the feeling of worry...

Anyone Advice Me About This?
Their must be other people in similar positions...?

Thanks Guys :)

What worries you mate?Is it the thought of her talking too other blokes etc?Give her space otherwise it`ll ruin your relationship it all comes down to trust.If you can`t trust each other then go your seperate ways(not having a go)i`ve been in the same situation.:y:

[RobVT]

She's getting cock from all over, in and around her mouth.

[Carlvtr88]

Because is true, how many 25 year old are still with the person they dated when 20?

I'm certainly not.

I am..... 6 years and shes my best mate.

[bobertmate]

Tbh, possessive people fuck me off, as do lads who fuck their mates off for a bit of flange that won't last longer than six months. When it all goes tits up their end up fucked, no missus = no sexy time, no friends = no social life.

one day people will learn.

OP, she's 18 mate, she's gonna do what 18 year old girls do, get drunk and have fun.. Doesn't mean shes gonna fuck you over, if she does then at least you learn from it. But telling someone not to do something, makes them want to do it even more.
Try and be a bit more laid back with her and she should be okay, but by no means let her tell you that you can't go out cause thats just ridiculous. Your only young once so make the most of it, shit happens.

[clarkey1269]

A relationship is built up around trust, if you don't trust her then end it now and save your time, effort and the hassle.

Thank me later.

[devilsadvocate]

People need to stop taking things 'literally' on here...

[christoph]

People need to stop taking things 'literally' on here...

I tell my "agony aunt" section idea really is needed.

[iMystikz]

Ride the xmas party out, when she gets back chuck her on the bed and sniff her minj for semen.

That's fucking revolting.

[stevo67]

She's getting cock from all over, in and around her mouth.

Helpful post that.:homme::homme::homme::homme::homme:

[Saxologist]

Even questioning it makes it seem you don't trust her. People are right about her going on a girls holiday, as mine did who I didn't fully trust, all it took was my mate to say 'I bet she's with someone else' and I ended up sleeping with someone else. Bit like inception


Her lying about going out is a huge negative factor IMO, how do you know that's all she's lied about?

She was wrong to give you an ultimatum and seems a bit heartless that she's chuck you off for something so trivial as clubbing. I think she is mugging you off mate