People that chat sh1t....

[matt_vtr_15a]

We all know someone that chats utter bullshit whether they be workmates, friends or people we just tolerate...

Went up to my local golf course this weekend where I used to play to drop off the girl i'm ploughing and be paid in return with a full english.

Halfway thru enjoying my full english a guy I know through when i used to play golf decided to join me and tell me numerous stories about his Supercar destroying Corsa VXR (which is totally standard).

This guy is in his 50's and just makes story after story up, if he hasn't done it personally his best mates brothers cousin has done it and said it was shit which in turn has put him off.

I couldn't play along with his bullshit claims for any longer when he proceeded to tell me his VXR had a Yamaha R6's pants down despite him struggling to get traction from the traffic lights....

What do people get from chatting such shite? And what absolute Jack A Norys have you endured?

[Gabbastard]

Up here we just call bullshit tbh.

[chompy]

Up here we just call bullshit tbh.

there is also:
Talking pish
Talking shite
Havering shite
Havering pish

[Carlvtr88]

The studio in London I was at recently, put a status up saying " Why has someone else put a pic up of 'their studio' and saying it's where their mastering is carried out " ?

When in fact it isnt at all :D

[Prickle]

I switch off when people harp on like that. Just smile, agree and carry on with my day. Fella at work just like it work with.

[Gabbastard]

there is also:
Talking pish
Talking shite
Havering shite
Havering pish

"did ye aye"

[D4MJT]

there is also:
Talking pish
Talking shite
Havering shite
Havering pish

I thought you'd just call them English up there? ;)

[chompy]

"did ye aye"
Haha forgot about that! :clapping:
I thought you'd just call them English up there? ;)
No, we have a reserved term for the English up here :hug:

[qrty]

I take any car stories with a pinch of salt, you never get the full story when there are so many factors involved.

Most of the time the person bragging was giving it all but the other car wasn't...

"Yeh bruv murdered dis R8 wiv ma VTR dats got b8's n a str8 thru" :homme:

Some people obviously brag because they think they are making themselves sound better than others, when in fact they just sound like dicks. I think some people just have no idea and genuinely believe they have beat something. To people that have some idea they then simply sound retarded.

[Gandi699]

I just agree with them and try and end the conversation as quickly as possible. "Fuck off now please"

[Dany4494]

Cammed saxo vts faster than most cars never fails to make me laugh.

[Ross]

We call it "viper" on saxp.

[jbrady72]

We all know someone that chats utter bullshit whether they be workmates, friends or people we just tolerate...

Went up to my local golf course this weekend where I used to play to drop off the girl i'm ploughing and be paid in return with a full english.

Halfway thru enjoying my full english a guy I know through when i used to play golf decided to join me and tell me numerous stories about his Supercar destroying Corsa VXR (which is totally standard).

This guy is in his 50's and just makes story after story up, if he hasn't done it personally his best mates brothers cousin has done it and said it was shit which in turn has put him off.

I couldn't play along with his bullshit claims for any longer when he proceeded to tell me his VXR had a Yamaha R6's pants down despite him struggling to get traction from the traffic lights....

What do people get from chatting such shite? And what absolute Jack A Norys have you endured?

This could be a double bluff and this story could be a load of bull shit... ;)

[TomT]

Everyone talks shit tbh, but there's definitely some that can't say anything true.

Timid little fat guy at work always tells me stories about telling people to fuck off and slapping people, an how he used to be a pro gamer etc

[jimmyboy]

We have a sales manager at our spot who's referred to as 'one up'. No matter what you tell him, no matter how impressive it may be, he will 'one up' you. Like most the others on here, we just smile, nod and agree. Everybody moans but no-ones called his bluff yet. It's just too much fun guessing what he's going to come out with next.

[Jizanthapus]

We have a sales manager at our spot who's referred to as 'one up'. No matter what you tell him, no matter how impressive it may be, he will 'one up' you. Like most the others on here, we just smile, nod and agree. Everybody moans but no-ones called his bluff yet. It's just too much fun guessing what he's going to come out with next.

Ha thats spot on. I think every workplace has their own 'one up'!

And of course you can't call them out on it as 1) they wont have none of it and will fight their lie to the death and 2) it can be entertaining as you say

[chompy]

We have a sales manager at our spot who's referred to as 'one up'. No matter what you tell him, no matter how impressive it may be, he will 'one up' you. Like most the others on here, we just smile, nod and agree. Everybody moans but no-ones called his bluff yet. It's just too much fun guessing what he's going to come out with next.

What if he's telling the truth? All along you have been bitching about him and turns out he's done all these amazing things

[Mickswan]

Had a mate we used to call Billy Liar, what a bull shitter. You never knew if he was telling the truth or lying. When he used to bull shit even his mrs used to say 'No you didn't Lee' got funny but you just couldn't rely on him.

[jbrady72]

Tbh I think it's standard we all have that mate who knows someone who has done anything. You'll say to your mate how you've got a saxo with 120bhp but then they'll explain how they have a mate who managed to get 750bhp from a saxo by putting in gold plated, water cooled, lazer spark plugs. And they'll have a story like that or anything you talk about


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[D4MJT]

Timid little fat guy at work...telling people to fuck off and slapping people...how he used to be a pro gamer


I can't quite work out what doesn't ring true here.

Oh no hang on.

[stevo67]

We call it "viper" on saxp.

Wish their was a thanks button.:y:

[Assenracing]

Without bullshitters the world would be a boring place ;)

[Ali123]

quickly ones i can remeber from the top of my head, all from the same person

. did his driving lessons in a astra , did his test in a lambo....
. was training to be an olypic skiier at the age of 5 till he did his knee in
. that all drug dealers in manchester are scared of him cos he beat them all up once so badly they give him all their weed whenever they see him about
. he once got kidnapped and dumped into a lorry trailer and had to break out of it
. he slept with over 80 lasses when he was 13
and the list goes on and on and on and on and on and i mean seriously on and on!
had to put up with bullshit like that for 2 years straight off him!

[jockyb]

Some years ago (when I was self employed on the building sites) a chap we worked with , told the most unbelievable stories of where in the world he'd travelled (all over I reckon) A mate said to me in the morning " At dinner time, start telling me yer going to Hawaii next year on holiday and we'll see what "cockinese" chips in with." (that's the BS'ers nickname) So when we're sat down eating our sarnies I tells me mate I'm thinking of booking for Hawaii next year.. True to form "Cockinese" chips in with ""Oh yeah lads, I went there once for the World Surfing Championships." :clapping::clapping::clapping: Well we could hardly keep a straight face, while he regaled us with tales of his surfing prowess. (although he clammed up when we asked where he came in the surfing competition) :p:p:p

[Randyransford91]

Just had a new lad at work who is alongside me, and there's just so much shit that comes out of his mouth I just don't listen to him anymore.

I am looking for mortgages at the moment, and funnily enough a week later he's doing the same! Something always happens every day on his estate, it's a shithole like so I could believe it but everything is blown out of proportion.

He's currently passed his test (again after been banned) and expecting to get cheap car insurance and moans because it's expensive. He's always making shit stories up on how he's done this and that and how he can have 20 Pints and be still standing.

Plus he always bangs on about his old job and how everyone wants him back! He's also one of these that makes a small problem a huge mountain, so i just make him look a dick with simple fix.

I have never heard so much shit in my life until I met this guy!

[VeiRoN]

I switch off when people harp on like that. Just smile, agree and carry on with my day. Fella at work just like it work with.

That's what i would do too. :y:

[jimmyboy]

Ha thats spot on. I think every workplace has their own 'one up'!

And of course you can't call them out on it as 1) they wont have none of it and will fight their lie to the death and 2) it can be entertaining as you say

Exactly! I said before that no one had ever called his bluff but someone did question the fact he told us he was personal friends with the red hot chili peppers. He was visually embarrassed and shouted I don't have to prove anything to you lot! He knew that we knew lol

[jimmyboy]

What if he's telling the truth? All along you have been bitching about him and turns out he's done all these amazing things

Then I would shake his hand, congratulate him and apologise! Then ask why he's a sales manager for a logistics company lol

[Gabbastard]

There used to be a guy who worked in my shop who claimed he managed a couple of bands. No big deal really, of all of us who worked there loads of us were in bands. However, the guy claimed to be manager of a band called Rhymes With Orange (hilariously "because nothing rhymes with orange" said he) who were bigger than Nickelback and apparently they couldnt go out because theyd get mobbed so badly it would be an incident, theyd need to close roads and stuff and theyd need police protection. He even insisted that theyd had 8 or so number 1 singles and two number 1 albums. We scoured the net for any trace of this band, with - unsurprisingly - no luck.

He came out with some other belters too, saying iirc that he went on holiday to egypt but the plane got hijacked, they were stuck on a runway for 10 hours. He told us they wouldnt let anyone move so he had to sit there and piss himself. They were rescued by some Egyptian special forces team who stormed the plane, but a flashbang went off next to him and thats why he sometimes couldnt hear properly.

[chompy]

Then I would shake his hand, congratulate him and apologise! Then ask why he's a sales manager for a logistics company lol

Fair play haha. The reason i say this is I'm usually branded as one of these kind of guys, then i whip out the evidence and BAM...total legend :afro:

[kizmo22]

i have a friend at college. aparently his standard vovlo c70 (not even a t5) beat an evo round castle combe. also, he reckons his bog standard automatic calibra outdrags scoobys......

[MuZiZZle]

i have a friend at college. aparently his standard vovlo c70 (not even a t5) beat an evo round castle combe. also, he reckons his bog standard automatic calibra outdrags scoobys......

Don't lie, you have no friends

[aldred309uk]

Aye you telling me that I'm the only one who's been to Elevenerife?

[MuZiZZle]

There used to be a guy who worked in my shop who claimed he managed a couple of bands. No big deal really, of all of us who worked there loads of us were in bands. However, the guy claimed to be manager of a band called Rhymes With Orange (hilariously "because nothing rhymes with orange" said he) who were bigger than Nickelback and apparently they couldnt go out because theyd get mobbed so badly it would be an incident, theyd need to close roads and stuff and theyd need police protection. He even insisted that theyd had 8 or so number 1 singles and two number 1 albums. We scoured the net for any trace of this band, with - unsurprisingly - no luck.

He came out with some other belters too, saying iirc that he went on holiday to egypt but the plane got hijacked, they were stuck on a runway for 10 hours. He told us they wouldnt let anyone move so he had to sit there and piss himself. They were rescued by some Egyptian special forces team who stormed the plane, but a flashbang went off next to him and thats why he sometimes couldnt hear properly.



Orange rhymes with Blorenge (a mountain in Wales)

[Exousia]

Tbh I think it's standard we all have that mate who knows someone who has done anything. You'll say to your mate how you've got a saxo with 120bhp but then they'll explain how they have a mate who managed to get 750bhp from a saxo by putting in gold plated, water cooled, lazer spark plugs. And they'll have a story like that or anything you talk about


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Yer you can buy those plugs from halfords but they don't
Put them on the shelfs as they are a special item .
Just go to the parts desk and ask but tell them
You have a maxed up saxo and they will sell them
£2.99 each or £0.34 each if you have a trade card .
Easy to fit then call your local dyno remapping garage
And ask for a power run , get your print out and post it
On here .

[jbrady72]

Naa you can't get em from halfords, me mate said you can only get them from his dad's best mates, dogs old owners, cousins, sister who was married to bill gates who knew a guy who's dad owned mclaren f1 team.
That's how her got them. Legit.


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[MuZiZZle]

Naa you can't get em from halfords, me mate said you can only get them from his dad's best mates, dogs old owners, cousins, sister who was married to bill gates who knew a guy who's dad owned mclaren f1 team.
That's how her got them. Legit.


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So Melinda Gates?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ec/Melinda_Gates_-_World_Economic_Forum_Annual_Meeting_2011.jpg

[Jizanthapus]

She is hotttttttt

[jbrady72]

Naa Melissa gates knew someone, and that someone's dad could get them!


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[MuZiZZle]

One of the richest men in the world, she must be fucking filth

[MuZiZZle]

Naa Melissa gates knew someone, and that someone's dad could get them!


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according to what you said it was a woman Married to bill gates, and bill gates knew other people

I call bullshit

[jbrady72]

according to what you said it was a woman Married to bill gates, and bill gates knew other people



I call bullshit


Naa mate it's truth. Honest


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[Yates]

youve been to tenerife, hes been to elevenerife

sure ive done a thread before about people bullshitting, always get them at work, one guy claims to of been fishing and got a baby otter caught in his line, so he untangled it and let it go, ten mins later mother otter walks out water, fish in her mouth and drops it by his feet then goes back into water and swims off

[iVTR]

I've been amazed by the amount of bullshit I've heard over the past couple of years.

What it's taught me is that there will always be a bullshitter.

I ignore every word that comes out their mouth and carry on with my own life.. (y)

[marcusd]

i like to play them at their own game, knobhead at work is the one upper, also a filthy grass and cronic brown noser. so once people have answered the usual what you done at weekend questions, he has to one up em with the usual bagged a model, flew to moon in his personal rocket with buzz blah blah, so recently ive been approved a mortgage so when I let him go first about his house he fucked up and didn't quite go high enough, so bullshitted him in believing my dad paid 220k off my mortgage so I only had to pay 100k, his face was rather pissed, till he came back an hour later to tell me his 22k house just got valued today and is now worth 150k so hes gonna sell it make the profit and then rent a apartment.

[Viper]

We call it "viper" on saxp.

Wish their was a thanks button.:y:

Here's your bite.

I'm intrigued to hear the elaboration on this one.

[stevo67]

Here's your bite.

I'm intrigued to hear the elaboration on this one.

Nah i`ll let anyone of the 50k members on here that can`t stand you reply.:fcuk:

[Viper]

Nah i`ll let anyone of the 50k members on here that can`t stand you reply.:fcuk:

Ahh but they weren't the ones making a point of it so you clearly had something to say. Now's your chance.

[stevo67]

Ahh but they weren't the ones making a point of it so you clearly had something to say. Now's your chance.

The point being I don`t like your sarcastic arrogant attitude on here,you talk down to people end of.

[Giraffe]

The point being I don`t like your sarcastic arrogant attitude on here,you talk down to people end of.

Doesn't make him a bullshitter though?

[Viper]

The point being I don`t like your sarcastic arrogant attitude on here,you talk down to people end of.

I don't see how that has any relevance to this thread?

Wish their was a thanks button.:y:

*there

[stevo67]

Doesn't make him a bullshitter though?

I`m not getting into an argument on here,I don`t like people who like viper who come on here to massage their over inflated ego.

[Viper]

Wish their was a thanks button.:y:

I`m not getting into an argument on here,I don`t like people who like viper who come on here to massage their over inflated ego.

Surely you did want some sort of argument, at the very least a discussion, otherwise you wouldn't have made any comment at all.

Make the most of it while you have my curiosity. I'm still not sure why any of it is relevant to anything I've done recently.

[Giraffe]

I`m not getting into an argument on here,I don`t like people who like viper who come on here to massage their over inflated ego.

I know you're not getting in to an argument as you don't have one... Whatever you think of how he acts on here, it doesn't make him a billy bullshitter, which this thread is about...

[Viper]

I know you're not getting in to an argument as you don't have one... Whatever you think of how he acts on here, it doesn't make him a billy bullshitter, which this thread is about...

I'm pretty confused, I thought they were going to provide examples of me bullshitting :geek:

[stevo67]

I know you're not getting in to an argument as you don't have one... Whatever you think of how he acts on here, it doesn't make him a billy bullshitter, which this thread is about...

One day on here people will actually listen & learn,as for bullshitting I can cite the purchase of someone`s so called top of the range merc,that in reality was just posted to massage an ego.I don`t need to justify myself to anyone certainly not on here anyway.

[Viper]

as for bullshitting I can cite the purchase of someone`s so called top of the range merc,that in reality was just posted to massage an ego.I don`t need to justify myself to anyone certainly not on here anyway.

Please elaborate. How was I bullshitting about the Merc? I drive it every day so it must be a very real bullshit.

Also I haven't said anywhere that it is top of the range? You can't really call someone out for bullshitting when you've fabricated the supposed false claims yourself.

[MuZiZZle]

Please elaborate. How was I bullshitting about the Merc? I drive it every day so it must be a very real bullshit.

Also I haven't said anywhere that it is top of the range? You can't really call someone out for bullshitting when you've fabricated the supposed false claims yourself.

No way can you work, live at home and own merc, that's madness!

[stevo67]

Please elaborate. How was I bullshitting about the Merc? I drive it every day so it must be a very real bullshit.

Also I haven't said anywhere that it is top of the range? You can't really call someone out for bullshitting when you've fabricated the supposed false claims yourself.

Just do one sunshine,no point in talking to an arrogant little tory boy turd like you.

[Viper]

Just do one sunshine,no point in talking to an arrogant little tory boy turd like you.

So now you throw personal insults when you can't back up your claims? Very mature, well done.

I would say I have been more condescending than arrogant though.

[MuZiZZle]

I love you Viper, in a gay way!

[blackie_2k5]

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSG_LKN8TkOsqIEtHk9Dfu6BcRQponVq h5IZqopuRpAkS6M2_73

[Yates]

stevo67 states he lives in a universe far far away, i call bullshit. but he is right about viper. he doesnt even have a merc, thing is hes not even human, so he bullshits that too. he is a spam bot who sells kitchens.

[ed-bradley]

Fucking faggots.

[Brettles1986]

There is an obscene amount of bullshit on this site.

People saying they don't own Saxo's for one.

[Yates]

Fucking faggots.

bullshit

[ed-bradley]

http://i746.photobucket.com/albums/xx108/aprilia-ed/936564_553732611386099_585974580_n_zps33017a17.jpg

[MuZiZZle]

^^^^
dave?