You're posts are so bang on!

:y:

In all fairness that is exactly how i feel in my life currently! I've been considering councelling but i wouldn't know where to go etc...I now feel like my life is passing me without me really taking an awful lot in!! I just assumed i'd work it out in good time but doesn't seem to have happened as of yet!

Sorry for the slight hijack

oh dont take any anti depressants if you can help it. i think those things r more dangerous than heroin. makes you feel dosey and cheerful but it clouds your judgement and you have a MASSIVE downer when it wares off. my mate was on them and imo it made him worse.

I'm glad for the people giving you the surport m8 end hope your taking it all in as you have loads of mate and for having the bollocks to talk about it makes you more of a 19 year old man than you think and stronger then you know you are . Everyone needs help now and then you know were we all are m8

Not a problem mate!

Just take the info off this thread and go for it, that's what I'm doing :y:

Same man, love it when the Sax-P lot shows their nice side!

Appreciate your words man, means a lot :)

Right, I'm off to bed you lot.

MASSIVE thanks to you all for the help, support and suggestions. Means a lot to Mokel!

Night x

Your welcome get some sleep and come back with the well loved MOKE :)

Mate, if you can admit all your problems right down to the gritty details to a bunch of cunts that you thought were gunna tear you a new ass-hole, I think that would be a Huge step.
You'd feel way better for it, sort of airing your dirty laundry. You'v come out with alot of your problems, but without seeming to be nosey, its the details that your hiding away which people need to know that you aren't saying, I guess this is were your need for a professional comes in? as someone you can confide in without loosing dignity?
Everyone's been very helpful, nobody will judge what you have to say and will try and help you in every way possible man. Ignore this if you want as I know it may not seem like the best idea, but it's another way of looking at it, and I hope everything picks up for you dude!

Tbh with you mate i dont think you need counselling.. I would try and find a girlfriend that makes you happy and then the rest of your worries will be fine, aslong as your happy

I tried this although didnt have as much problems as moke, she just fucked me over and threw it back in my face.

Yeah, thats the problem that could occur.. but you never know, life is a gamble!

Thats what i would do anyway, get the lads together, go on a night out, do the things that make you happy (cars,football?)

Your only young man, think of it like that. Lifes too short :)

Just checking in this morning, are you ok lad ?

i know how you feel mate i lost my dad when i was 15
not sure if counselling is the way forward because i just alway reverts back to memorys of my dad which can make it worse i find that thinking about the future and just putting a smile on is the only way also doing things where you can think my dad would have been proud is good and hopefully one day we can learn to live with it

Tried to reply to this at work last night but reception was shit!

I know where you're coming from pal.

Although I haven't lost my mum, I have an absolutley awful relationship with her. She's controlling, manipulitive, and no matter what I do, it's never enough. I've had counselling, and anger management, both of which didn't work. I'm a very proud person who doesn't share their feelings or let their walls down very often. Hardly at all - in fact. The only emotion I tend to allow people to see is anger, as it's such a defensive, concealing emotion. What people don't tend to see behind it is the hurt, the confusion, and the downright desperation to know where things went wrong.

I was a really bright ( and I mean super intellengent) young girl top of my class the whole way through primaray. Bullied to death for it. Onto highschool, same story. So I did the 'can't beat em join em' act and became a complete arse in school and a bully. left with very good grades, but not perfect. I didn't revise once. I once had a teacher cry out of desperation for me to just try harder.

And here's where my relationship with mum crumbled. at 14, I got a horse. A bit of a nutcase, but my very own beautiful horse who was all mine mine mine. I worked 7.30 - 3pm every Saturday and Sunday to pay for my horse, alongside working on making him sane, and seeing to him every day. I had a bad accident which saw me in hospital - where my mum left me for days and spent the time with her new boyfriend, who I only met for the first time whilst lying out my face on morphine on the ward. After I recovered, she decided that having a horse wasn't worth it for me, and got rid. Really it was just so she could spend more time with her boyfriend who turned out to be an alcholic wife beating fuckwit. I've never forgiven her.

I went through college, got my equine degree, left the highest scoring person ever to sit the course, with trophies coming out my ears etc, took a job with horses. worked my way up from the bottom to compete, and now am an accredited teacher. Bloody hard work and plenty 90 hours + weeks involved.

My mum hates this and refuses to accept that I never became a lawyer or a doctor. My brain is 'wasted' and I'm an embarressment. I see it as I love what I do and who else can say that? yes I work another 2 jobs, you always need a back up, and the extra money comes in handy for my lessons, which in turn allow me to progress in my teaching.

She,along with past boyfriends ground me down and made me feel like shit. Took me a long time to realise I could depend on noone else to pull me out of my little dark place but myself. I hit my lowest point I think after I showed her my teaching schedule once, proud of how it was filling up and she said -'how does that saying go? Only those who fail to succeed - teach'

Took me a while to realise that's not true, my teaching helps me in my own riding / competing.

Everythings working out ok now, I've got my new car, my students (who I love to bits), my old, good friends back, and the best boyfriend ever - who I truley think would never have went out with me if I hadn't been as happy / confident as I am. I have my days but he understands this, and is brilliant.

Honestly Moke, speak to your GP if you wish - but by the sounds of things, theres plenty people around you (on here) that have went through the same thing. I go on the basis that I can't teach what I have not learned myself - so maybe the best thing for you to do would be talk to people who have faced the same challenges.

You've got me on Facebook, and I'm always on it (as you know) hit me up with a Srs face or so if you wish ;) x

edit: I'm still a cocky arrogant n00b hating bitch who is going to rip into all the virgins on here so don't you lot fucking forget that. Right.

Morning moke its a new day :)

The past is in the past. Move on, It's the only way :)

easier said than done sometimes but you are right though

Looks like you need to re-learn how to deal with burdens of life. Mates and family often don't or won't help. Feeling sad is not somethings that's apparent to other people.

That was my first thought, lots of kids trying to act like they're hard stuff in here.

+1. I knew a guy once who had a brilliant future ahead of him as an engineer. He started taking meds to "help him" chin up after about 3 months worth of not finding a job. He progressively got worse while he became addicted. He's now a vegetable in a mental hospital somewhere.

So don't fall for meds, re-learn how to enjoy life. It's not that hard, except when you make it hard on yourself. Sounds like your friends are not so friendly if I may say so, more like in competition to find out who's the toughest guy (answer is none of them)

Thanks for the replies guys, I'll reply properly when I'm home :y:

Doctors on Monday for me :A:

the waiting list for the NHS is like 6 weeks+ for counselling
i'd go private if you can, but i definitely think its worth it talking to someone

I don't mind waiting...

Part of getting myself sorted is for me to be independant and get over things, so I'll just be doing that until then :)