Counselling
 

Righty then Sax-P.....

This isn't a "my life is shit" thread, it's just asking for some information, help and maybe a little support :y:

At the moment, I'm feeling really quite emotional about things. I feel like I've got a lot on my mind / a lot to handle and it's really starting to get to the point where I can't handle it.

I've grown up with a very troubled childhood, especially my mum passing away, things have really hit me hard.

I've grown up to deal with things with a "keep smiling and you'll be alright" attitude.

Like the dude in my avatar... One day, my fucked up smile (and weird nod) won't be there!

But I feel like I need to get some counselling to try and sort me out.

So then...

Has anyone on here ever had counselling or can someone point me in the right direction? I've had a look on Google, but I'd like to get your lots view on it.

So please... Discuss!

Thanks in advance!

Moke hard to say on this one as don't know if your taking the piss or not lol ?

Whats on your mind and what you got to handle if you can say on here?

Why cant you handle whats on your mind and on your shoulders etc?

For once, I'm not man.

I really do need some help and I know there's a lot of caring members on here!

I can vouch he ain't taking the piss :/ I've never had counselling mate so I can't really help you :/

But I would say I've hand to stand on my own two feet . :( I try not to let things bother me getting stressed out does sod all if need to chat we are here save your money m8

It's really hard to explain Danny.

Money, mates, family, past events, my future... My mind is like mush... I feel like I can't take things in anymore, because my mind is full up.

Nothing ever changes in my life and I feel like, especially past events, are always bringing me down.

So hard to explain :(

He's not taking the piss but the last place I would be asking is Sax-P. Everyone's a heartless cunt at the best of times, let alone when it can affect you.

If you feel the need for it, give it a try.

:hug:

I know there is caring members on here as I'm good mates with a bloody lot of you!

I really am looking into it, but I want views on it and what to do, etc...

I wanna help mate but im not in the frame of mind right now. Im probably in the frame of mind you are right now tbh lol

However, each person is different and they deal with things in different ways as we all know. You've probably heard it all before and this isnt another one of them "jus ignore it" type responses that are thoughtless and you know I hate.

You need to work out your way of dealing with things. For me its ALWAYS the future and setting myself goals and targets and also having dreams that keep me motivated and encouraged to do stuff! Think to yourself everything is possible, to be quite honest everything IS possible, you just have to find the way to make them happen..

Basically start with catching yourself up. Catch up with whatever it is on your shoulders, lets start with money, whats the deal with this? Have you got debts, or what?

You've got me on Facebook and my number Danny, so hit me up if you want to and we'll chat!

Yeah, that's a good view to have! My future is to be a superstar DJ tbh... That IS my goal... Just gonna have to try hard for that!

Well money, it's a pain in the ass, but I think I'll be able to get that sorted soon, so we'll leave that for now.

It's all about money control and I'm slowly learning how to do that!

Go to doctors as you can get advice on e NHS. Just be careful they don't do the usual take anti depressants, I've seen a few people just given these on a whim.

*are.

As I said, if you feel you need professional help now, then go get it.

All I know is, that right now, if I lost a parent or my sister that i'd go into complete meltdown and it would fuck me right up for years.

I'm caring, usually I'd say something like man the fuck up to a newbie memeber but I like you Moke. Things get on top of everyone at times, were not made of wood. But before it all gets to much get it all out in the open and talk about it all with a trained professional, even just sit and have a dam good cry the sort of cry when you was little you'd be gasping for air at the end of it. Works wonders. Pm me if you need to talk about stuff

I've had anti-depressants... They're shit!

How would I go about getting advise on the NHS? Online? Going to my doctor?

Probably best to go to local doctor, explain you are not depressed but that due to life's situations you feel you need to talk to someone...

Don't let the, try the use drugs route.

If you want advise NHS direct may be able to help too

That's what happened to me mate... My mum died almost 7 years ago and since I've lost a grandad, auntie and uncle... Oh and a best mate... It really fucks with your head.

I've not been right for years.

That's what I'm thinking of doing mate.. I tell everyone else never to bottle stuff up, but that's what I do... It's hard taking your own advice!

Cheers mate, appreciate that!

I told my doctor that last time and he said, "well, I think you have depression, so try these first.. blah, blah,blah"

I'll try the NHS, cheers!

I've had counselling Mikey, the one to one type wasn't really for me, dragging things up going on and on about it, at the time, I didn't want to do that, so the just talking to someone kind didn't work for me.....but I had this counselling called EMDR (I think I've got that right) and that worked, well for the main problem.....it would depend what is the root cause of what is getting to you hun tbh.....why don't you start by writing a list of what is bothering you, and write on a scale of 1-5 how badly they affect you and your dealing with everyday life....then tackle each problem one at a time, don't bombard yourself, when you're low and down everything does get on top of you, you just need to give yourself a break, a lil pep talk, and go from there......

Go to your doctors though by all means, one to one counselling may help you, and ask the doctor or counsellor about the EMDR treatment, as it may help you with some of your childhood memories, and dealings, help you to get closure and put a lid on things....I'm always here hun if you want to chat to me, inbox on fb, and I'll give you a hug on 4th Dec meet :D

I know we had the "issue" earlier, but I completely agree with everything you just said.

I'm up for one to one chats as I can talk about my problems, love getting stuff off my mind... but I'm gonna go my doctors soon!

I've got my list on the go :)

Thanks Auds, I appreciate that! :)

Not read all the thread hun, your doc give you anti depressants? Fuck that....well it's up to you of course.....but that's masking the problem and not dealing with it.

You know this week I went to the doctors to get some different tablets to help me sleep, I'm not on anything hardcore, not proper sleeping pills, just sedatives, and he gave me fucking anti depressants!!! Didn't even tell me.....good job I read the leaflet first, so had to go back the next day, not a chance am I taking those damn things lol....

For once I also agree with Lee. It wont help solve the situation/cause but it will relieve alot of inside pain and stress of it all.

Cool Mikey glad you're on it and no worries :hug: x

Mike, I know the way you are feeling, but its a struggle to find the right words to say about what is the best way to go about the situation. When you say your problems include;

"Money, mates, family, past events, my future..."

I take it money being with your job or lack of work coming your way? If so, there is always a way out of money troubles, believe me, I am in a stupid amount of debt for someone who ain't been to Uni.

Friends, most will stab you in the back the second you turn around, over the past few months, I can count my friends on 1 hand, and the rest are just acquaintances. Its not a bright outlook on the situation, but think about it deeply, its true.

Family and past events, I take it this is about your mum passing away, I really couldn't say anything about that, it must be hard, but its in the past, now look to your future, smash your goals, don't make 1 big goal, make many little ones that will one day lead you onto that big goal, or you may loose sight of it.

Its been a struggle to find just those words for you at the moment, I have nights like you're having, guess its just a part of being young, but head up :y: and show the fuckers in the world what you're made of!

This is so unbelievably true. The amount of times people have fucked me over that I thought I could trust.

Hey Moke,

Sounds like your in a tough place right now. I've been exactly where you are and I know what your going through.

I had a lot happen in such a small space of time that my head just couldnt deal with anything.

I know it's a cliche but these things really do make you stronger :) Take it from someone who's been there.

Life always throws crap at you, best thing to do is find a way to vent out anger/sadness/heart ache. Don't bottle it up for too long.

Dont be scared to goto your doctor and ask for help. I started having panic attacks and got sent to Congnitive Behaviour Therapy which is simmilar to counselling and really worked.

Let me know how you get on yeah? If you need a chat just hit me up on facebook PM me for my name ;)

st johns wort actually helps - believe it or not!

hope you can work it out!

What a cunt... It's an easy way out for them! :wall:

Like I said, I'll be OK with money, I think, as money means fuck all to me compared to other things.

Friends, they're awesome, but I don't feel like I'm a part of that group anymore... I don't feel that close to them and I always feel like one day they'll be gone, so trying hard to be "one of them"

Family, it's other things......

Right, well I'll copy what I wrote to Danny on Facebook:

Obviously the issue with losing my mum, but since that, my dad hasn't been the same.. he's always so down and i can tell he's not happy.

yeah, he's got a new wife, but she doesn't make things easy, her son is a cunt and she hates my brother (the one with special needs) and she's always making arguments with him, so he goes off on one and will walk about the village to calm down, yet i get scared that he's gonna get hurt out there because there's so many knobheads... and it frustrates me that i can't be out there with him and i'm always thinking about him and i get so angry and het up!

That's just one thing and I can't control it... He loses his temper so easily and if he does hurt himself, he has fits... What if that happens when he's out and there's no-one there? It sends chills through my body thinking about it and I get so angry because it could happen as it's happened before.

And that's just a couple of things...... So much more to speak about :(

Moke as the Pood put it I can't really do anything in regards to advice to help you at all as I don't have the knowledge all I can say is what others have said speak to a pro about it get it out in the open and work from there.

Plenty of mates if you need cheering up at any point I'd even drag myself to prestonshire for original curry ;)

It's a shit place to be.. Being in a place where you can't manage anything or handle anymore...

There's been a couple of times where I have thought of ending my life, just because times have been so hard, but that's the pussies way out and imagine the knock on effect? Fuck that.

Plus, I need to be there for my family.

I just keep thinking, "I can do this. I'll look back and be glad I took action and got myself sorted out"

Cheers dude!

Yeah, I'm defo going to get advice and speak about it.. I actually need to!

Haha, yeah Gav, come to Preston already!

Thanks man :y:

I carn t even start to imagine what you re going through at this point in time that was very brave of you to come out with your thiughts and feeling it must of been verty hard for you! And thats something to be proud of even though you may not feel this way at the moment.

I feel proud of myself for handling what I have so far, but how much more do I have to take?

I have to think about myself and get myself sorted, then I can get back to helping those I care about.

I need to be there for my loved ones, especially my family!

It wouldn't be easy on any of you, with your Dad, I suppose he is missing your Mum, and his new wife cannot come close to what your Mum was like.

This new wife sounds like you need to sit her down at a table, and talk to her like she is a child, she needs to grow up, and her son, needs a word. May be easier said than done, but if they want to be a part of the family, its something they have to do.

Your brother sounds like he likes a bit of independence going for a walk, yes there is the worry something might go wrong, but its something that needs to be put at the back of your mind when these things happen. Go out for a walk yourself before your brother goes after an argument, he will probably follow you.

With the having Fits bit, that is a worry, my sister 'had' epilepsy, the worry was always there, it wasn't a good time, and I ain't going to lie, when your stood there having a conversation with someone and they fall out of nowhere and have a fit, its not something anyone would like to see. With most types of fits, Doctor's can normally get them under control.

Have you heard of Turning Point? My GP referred me to them for a couple of things

They will be able to point you in the right direction for somebody in your area who can help - I spoke to a therapist for 15 mins from 'Rightsteps' and she helped loads, now I know where I need to be looking for help

http://www.turning-point.co.uk/servi...talhealth.aspx

Don't be afraid of the term 'Mental Health' - it covers hundreds of issues

tbh, most counselling sessions are focused on changing the way you think about things, not changing the things themselves.
I had a few sessions of 'cognative based counselling' at my old college, the guy was a complete wanker and i ended up cancelling it.

Im sorry to hear things are shit for you mate, but there are some things you cant fix and some things you can, the best way i found was to write it all down, everything thats bothering you, then see which things you can realisticly fix, and focus on them. Always give yourself something to do so your not sat with your own thoughts, and try to keep giving yourself little 'ups' to keep your mood, Things like washing the car, or fixing something on it thats been bugging you for ages can help.

Unfortantely, things like your mum cant be fixed and are incredibly hard to address, after losing my grandad i flitted between anger, and just getting on with it, and to be honest i dont think there is much else you can do

I know im not the most popular of members on here, or well known in any sense, but if you do need any advice or just to talk it through, you can always pm me mate, as im sure many others on here would want you to too

We've had so many chats with her though... Like one time, she kicked off and i confronted her... She ended up grabbing me by the throat and my dad had to block my punch as he saw me clench my fist and raise it...

I don't hit women, but the things she's said and done, you'd be the same and wouldn't think twice about doing it.

We all had a go at my dad, proper upset him when he told us about his new lady and we kicked off - he got to the point of crying his eyes out and blaming himself for everything... I've never been so heartbroken in my life.

Thankfully, everyone left me with him, we had a chat and got him smiling again - It's not his fault and he deserves to be happy, so he's going with his heart and staying with her.

He's told us time and time again that she'll never replace my mum, but he needs to be happy too!

Also, she's not all that bad, she really is a nice and caring person, but when she goes on one, it really kicks off!

With my brother, it's clear to see that he won't harm a fly, but the amount of cunts out there that don't care astonishes me and I know they see him as an easy target... It's so hard to forget about and push to the back of my mind.

Moke mate, Sam8v will be along shortly and I know he will put a little smile on your face even if it's just for a few minutes. He makes me smile

Thank you Nick, I'll look into that!

Great words there mate and makes perfect sense!

It's just got to the point where I need the help now dude and then I can be myself again.

It doesn't matter about being a popular member... There's so many popular members on here that are actual cunts, but we won't go into that!

Cheers dude :y: