True you have to look after number one in order to care for others, however at times you may feel when is it goling to end?, will it end?, how much more can I take and only at this point is where you are doing a good job at being a man because no matter how bad you feel you still do the right thing by your self and your family and evbentually you will look back of where you have come from to where you are now and that is high commendable and something to be proud of and no life is hard but at least you are trying you best and by what you have said im sure youre family are very proud of you and i can gaurantee as long as you keep trying your best you will be in a lot of a better position in your life say in a couple of years than you are now my friend.
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