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View Full Version : how not to port & polish your car! LMAO


spencer_cammedvts
5th October 2006, 20:15
iv just found this on SSC. have a read. i cant stop laughing. the guy is actually doing this to peoples cars for a price!


Hey guys, I've got a 98 1.8T. I've had a k04 and chip for a while and wanted to get more performance. I was recommended to port and polish the intake and exhaust. We found out they used abrasive material to do it like gritty sand. So I got with my friend that tunes Hondas and we decided to try it ourselves. We got a bag of sandblasting sand and hooked up into the intake and started the car. We had to hold the gas so it would run. He wanted to let the engine suck in the sand through the intake so it would port it out and then push it out the ehxaust so it would port the exhaust manifold.
I was worried that it might cause problems but he figured it'd be OK as long as we didn't make boost and it get sucked in the turbo. After running the car and letting it suck in sand we got about half way through a 25 lb bag. The check engine light was on and the engine was bucking and kicking and sounding really weird. We stopped and hooked the car back up normal and took off the sand supply. We tried to start it again and it was really hard. Once started it couldn't idle and kept making weird noises. We took it out and drove it and it started to make scraping and knocking noises.
Help! Can anyone tell me what to do! My buddy only does Hondas so he doesn't know much about Audis.

willsy
5th October 2006, 20:19
:shock: thats horrifying. Surely common sense says not to do that?

spencer_cammedvts
5th October 2006, 20:22
what common sense? he doesnt need common sense. he tunes hondas! obviously doesnt know how to flow sand through an audi engine! LMFBO! ha ha

s60tsy
5th October 2006, 20:25
theyve gotta be taking the piss!

landy
5th October 2006, 20:26
is this for real

spencer_cammedvts
5th October 2006, 20:27
yer for real! there is even a link on ssc to it!

s60tsy
5th October 2006, 20:33
i really cannot beleive that, you have got to be reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally thick to even think about doing that?

fredjudd
5th October 2006, 20:34
LMAO, you are responsible for my spilling coke all over my monitor! never heard anything as funny.

Yates
5th October 2006, 21:18
piss take? why would an audi owner post on a saxo forum? barrys?

l1ukeRS
5th October 2006, 21:45
yeah exactly matt, piss take, id say they'd get thorugh fuck all sand let alone 12lb of it b4 it was fucked if it was true

Richardson_VTS
5th October 2006, 22:02
lmao, why sand?? they should of used water surely! lol

Josh_Phipps
5th October 2006, 22:10
Haha that just spells Disaster!

newtomods
6th October 2006, 06:33
LMAO, you are responsible for my spilling coke all over my monitor! never heard anything as funny.


same here had just taken a mouth full of coffee and guess where it ended up , yup all over the monitor

but man what a bunch of tards , wonder what form of acid they use for paint prep have to PM em for us lol

Connor_scotland
6th October 2006, 06:46
OMG how and why would someone beleave doing something like that is a good idea

spencer_cammedvts
6th October 2006, 07:31
piss take? why would an audi owner post on a saxo forum? barrys?

someone on ssc had got it off another forum!

sy_VTR
6th October 2006, 11:53
what an absolute idiot!! if you no this guy tell him to stick some cement and water n he can make some mortar and do some rendering, he could turn his car into a cement mixer!! lol losers!!

saxo_vtr1234
6th October 2006, 16:03
like matt said its a piss take who in there right mind would do that to there car

Curran
6th October 2006, 16:44
like matt said its a piss take who in there right mind would do that to there car

fuck knows but some people seem to think they can just change their number plate to what ever they like and just get some new plates printed. surely thats just as stoooooooopid

Hannah
6th October 2006, 16:47
haha what a idiot!! i wouldnt even do that and thats saying something! lol

SaxOmniaC
6th October 2006, 19:49
OMG! what a dick! funnily enough i passed esso earlier and there sand is down to 79.9p a litre!!! :P

Barry123
6th October 2006, 19:59
hahahahahahahaa what an idiot!!!

hahahahaha

the fool clearly forgot to remap the ecu afterwards... what a divvy...

Jaytee
7th October 2006, 23:25
lol. dick. thats pretty much the stupidist thing i have ever heard.