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19th January 2015, 17:55
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#1
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Infrequent Poster
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Wigan, Lancashire
Posts: 129
Car(s): Citroen Saxo Vtr
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Mental Health - condition's and coping
A subject very close to my heart but just wondering as to how many members suffer with mental health problems i.e. depression, anxiety, bi-polar, schizophrenia, ADHD, OCD etc.
I have suffered with depression on and off for many years as well as ADHD and OCD. Time's have been tough and periods of life have been a hell of a struggle to get through. I know life doesn't always favour everyone in a positive light and can be a grind but people differ in their strengths and weaknesses and abilities to cope.
If you do suffer, how do you find other peoples understanding of your condition? Do you find much support available? Do you find people are wary of you? And that others don't perceive you having a problem just because you aren't plastered up, bearing scars or limping around on crutches.
I find playing car games on my Xbox, watching car orientated films or working on my car a great escape from my problems and directs my focus. Anyone the same?
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19th January 2015, 18:20
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#2
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Newbie
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: stockton on tees
Posts: 16
Car(s): Subaru impreza,
Skoda octavia vrs,
Saxo vtr
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I have very little understanding of mental health issues but realise alot of people pay no attention to them because you can physically see the issue. If you have found something that helps you get through tough times then you should definitely keep doing it.
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19th January 2015, 18:30
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#3
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L-plater
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 57
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I currently have depression , family are useless , friends who know are much easier to be around, depression has stemmed from splitting with girlfriend 2 years ago and a shitload of bad luck in the mean time which has put me financially into a wreck , had a fair few accidents resulting in injuries and time off work , also other accidents or breakages which have just cost me such as my saxo going up in flames 3 days after owning it , nearly got killed by a glass bottle exploding in a freak accident , also loneliness after the break up has been a big one < all of this is only 10% of whats happened over these 2 years , manic depression (which is what I have ) is known for making you not care about your life and causes extreme recklessness , the result of which ended up with me in a 100+mph crash in the Subaru , the sense of unreality is incredible , as for coping..........well im not
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19th January 2015, 19:05
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#4
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Saxperience Post Whore
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: North-east - Washington
Posts: 7,311
Car(s): Clio 182,
Fireblade
GSX-R 750
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Me, I'm fucked up.
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19th January 2015, 19:21
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#5
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Saxperience Post Whore
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: United Kingdom (England)
Posts: 7,064
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__________________
Stu QIf in doubt, just repeat the answer to the question....
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19th January 2015, 19:41
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#6
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Infrequent Poster
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Wigan, Lancashire
Posts: 129
Car(s): Citroen Saxo Vtr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fireball
I currently have depression , family are useless , friends who know are much easier to be around, depression has stemmed from splitting with girlfriend 2 years ago and a shitload of bad luck in the mean time which has put me financially into a wreck , had a fair few accidents resulting in injuries and time off work , also other accidents or breakages which have just cost me such as my saxo going up in flames 3 days after owning it , nearly got killed by a glass bottle exploding in a freak accident , also loneliness after the break up has been a big one < all of this is only 10% of whats happened over these 2 years , manic depression (which is what I have ) is known for making you not care about your life and causes extreme recklessness , the result of which ended up with me in a 100+mph crash in the Subaru , the sense of unreality is incredible , as for coping..........well im not
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I certainly feel your pain buddy, not with the same experience's but how life can throw so much crap at you in such a small space of time. People state "what doesn't kill you make's you stronger" but it's not always the case. If I have learned anything over the years though is that you 'can counsel others but you can never counsel yourself'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quick
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Thank you for the link. Aside from a local charity in my home town I have struggled to find support for my conditions and the NHS are truly hopeless. It is greatly appreciated.
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19th January 2015, 21:22
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#7
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Saxperience Forum Bum
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Nottingham
Posts: 3,954
Car(s): Stage 1 Mitsubishi Evo 6
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I think everyone suffers with mental health, just in varying amounts and depending on circumstances.
I was depressed as fuark when i was doing my degree and working full time, I barely had time to see my friends and I was buried in paperwork at work and with degree dissertations etc. Looking back it seems pathetic really but on numerous occasions I wanted to drive my car full speed into a brick wall.
I think most people get that with stress etc. I think I had it minor and would quickly snap myself out of it by seeing a friend or a girl or something for a bit of enjoyment and i'd be fine again.
Never really get it now, busy at work and sometimes stressful but I leave that in the office now and regularly go to the gym which helps me destress and release any anger/stress I may have built up.
I think you need to find something to direct any anger/issues you have for half hour a day or something such as the gym, boxing etc. keep yourself occupied and just remember some people have it much worse.
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19th January 2015, 21:40
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#8
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Saxperience Addict
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A farm shed in Aylesbury
Posts: 14,916
Car(s): Corolla AE86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fireball
I currently have depression , family are useless , friends who know are much easier to be around, depression has stemmed from splitting with girlfriend 2 years ago and a shitload of bad luck in the mean time which has put me financially into a wreck , had a fair few accidents resulting in injuries and time off work , also other accidents or breakages which have just cost me such as my saxo going up in flames 3 days after owning it , nearly got killed by a glass bottle exploding in a freak accident , also loneliness after the break up has been a big one < all of this is only 10% of whats happened over these 2 years , manic depression (which is what I have ) is known for making you not care about your life and causes extreme recklessness , the result of which ended up with me in a 100+mph crash in the Subaru , the sense of unreality is incredible , as for coping..........well im not
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I really hope you have seen your doctor.
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19th January 2015, 21:43
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#9
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Saxperience Addict
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A farm shed in Aylesbury
Posts: 14,916
Car(s): Corolla AE86
Peugeot 205 B18C (in bits)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pedromakarachi
you can never counsel yourself'.
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in the end it will be you that will take control to realise what is the cause of your depression and to be able to take steps to take you away from it.
Some people can see what needs to be done, others need help in finding it.
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19th January 2015, 21:43
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#10
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Frequent Poster
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Doyncaster
Posts: 783
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Wife struggled with it, went undiagnosed for many months and her behaviour was massively out of character and pretty much wrecked our marriage.
Being on the other side of it wasn't great either, watching someone you care deeply for, self destruct (at the time, neither of us had any idea why it was happening) was soul destroying.
I agree with comments already posted, everyone has some form of mental health issue/ailment etc - whether they know it, understand it or can cope with it is a debate in itself.
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19th January 2015, 22:41
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#11
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Saxperience Post Whore
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Costa Del
Posts: 8,010
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Jeremy Vine covered this quite deeply on Radio 2 earlier, it hit home and was well worth listening to. Catch it on the iPlayer.
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20th January 2015, 08:36
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#12
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Saxperience Addict
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,712
Car(s): A6 Le Mans tuned/A3 TFSI tuned
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good news,
http://www.worldpublicunion.org/2013...s-disease.html
Quote:
the result of which ended up with me in a 100+mph crash in the Subaru
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Quite selfish when you take the risk of harming others as a result of poor decisions. find a new girlfriend and stop believing in bad luck, I think you carry your own black cloud above your head.
Last edited by Manu; 20th January 2015 at 08:42.
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20th January 2015, 10:45
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#13
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Saxperience Forum Bum
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Morpeth
Posts: 2,539
Car(s): BMW 116d Regional Toner Sales Edition
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Manu
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Standard Manu
you really are a fucking idiot lol
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20th January 2015, 11:07
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#14
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Saxperience Addict
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,712
Car(s): A6 Le Mans tuned/A3 TFSI tuned
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aw crap you've hurt my feelings now. I lied, I do have attention deficit disor
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20th January 2015, 17:11
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#15
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Saxperience Forum Bum
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Jarrow
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Car(s): 2003 Icelandic Grey 16v VTR
1991 Daihatsu GTti
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The Mrs has ADHD, but she copes with it. She's a special needs teacher so it gives her the energy and drive to do her job. She doesn't see it as a negative at all.
My only gripe is she can't sit still for five minutes.
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20th January 2015, 18:36
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#16
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L-plater
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Manu
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not when you can see theres nothing on the road and no passengers to hurt or houses to go through, because nobody else has ever driven like an idiot before......
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21st January 2015, 09:14
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#17
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Saxperience Addict
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,712
Car(s): A6 Le Mans tuned/A3 TFSI tuned
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Sounds childish to me. Not seeing anything potentially wrong is fine, until it goes wrong because you simply do not have a clue of what may or may not be round the corner. Then using other people's behaviour who may have done something similar isn't a valid excuse to justify your own behaviour. Then blaming the result on bad luck when it goes tits up. You push your luck, you may end up with a lack of it. Your choice, and choices have consequences, some of which will affect your life with a negative outcome.
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21st January 2015, 10:48
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#18
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Saxperience Post Whore
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 9,363
Car(s): Focus ST
& 206 GTI180
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Depression & anxiety, suffered from it for many years now, although the last few years have been the most difficult for reasons I won't obviously be putting in the public domain.
From my experience not many people are that understanding. Many are quite selfish and you soon find out who your true friends are. They're usually the ones who aren't just around when it's all lardy dar. The rest don't want you to bring them down and ignore you and then soon pop up when you appear to be okish for a while.
My way of combating it was to spend silly amounts on cars. That's got boring though. Currently doing a diploma in marketing to keep me out of mischief.
I think the problem with it is, is people don't necessarily want to understand it because unless it directly effects them most people don't really care because their lives are so wonderful they can't understand how it can exist other than in your head. In other words ignorance.
You just have to keep plugging away and try to be positive, and see the positive in things. Anti depressants didn't work for me, in fact all they made me feel was worse because they did my brain in, numbed me from caring so much so it ended up making other parts of my life erode.
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21st January 2015, 18:16
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#19
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Saxperience Post Whore
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Costa Del
Posts: 8,010
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The narrowminded opinion of the minority astounds me.
What I have noticed is the rising cases of people using depression as an attention seeking method. I know quite a few (mostly females) who use it as a tool to get sympathy and attention.
A lot of people do go undiagnosed with mental disorders. Sometimes it's an underlying problem that shows no signs until one day you snap, and then all hell breaks loose.
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21st January 2015, 18:25
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#20
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Infrequent Poster
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Wigan, Lancashire
Posts: 129
Car(s): Citroen Saxo Vtr
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Seems like a few have mixed opinions and rightly so. Mental health and it's symptons are often mistaken or misunderstood.
Rewinding to a comment in my earlier post of 'you can counsel other but you can't council yourself'. Seems due to being inside the circle(so to speak) is harder, where as those outside the circle(i.e. you and your problems)find it much easier to look in and advise.
Personally I find that my head(the rational aspect of my concious being) gives me good advice and a sense of following the right path(be it through morals, ethics or other defining factors) but my heart(which many people have told me I wear on my sleeve thus making me an easy target for some)takes me on some wild rides through an emotional roller coaster. I agree that different people have different strengths and different coping mechanisms but, looking at my mental health issues and how other people suffer with similar, it is hard to cope as you find yourself hurting in the most painful emotional way known only to yourself. You start to push those closest to you away so they don't get sucked into the black hole you feel you will inevitably descend into. But as you push them away it hurts more, then you want to have them close. But then the fear of them getting hurt in your problems arises and so on and so forth. It is a battle of conflict and a vicious circle that is very hard to find a way out of. Given enough time you can spiral into a world within yourself that is far worse than originally existed.
Despair, depending on how the individual feels, can be the final straw and I have recently lost a friend who took his own life. As selfish and sad as it may seem to some, being in a dark place where others may perceive you at your weakest, to make that decision to take your own life, you must find a new strength through irrational thinking to be able to follow such a distressful course of action. Not saying I admire people who do commit suicide but I have a weird respect in some way when they have the actual guts to do it.
Through being lost in my despair and emotions, my strength to keep going is my wife, my family and my friends. I couldn't put them through that pain imo
Last edited by pedromakarachi; 21st January 2015 at 18:29.
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