Counselling - Page 7 - Saxperience

stevie_m · 13th December 2011, 22:49

Well good luck to you both,

When my first son was born I was majorly depressed, kept it inside (prob a bad thing in the long run) I think it was basically down to the overwhelming weight of REAL responsiblity that you are responsible for this living soul. That's why when I ever see a post about a young guy saying his gf is preggers I will always admit the problem I had so they know that not just the women go through problems after childbirth.

We all have bad days but when I turns into bad weeks then bad months it's maybe better to seek some help (I don't mean medical help, but sometimes it's good to talk about all the problems and worries that you have in your life) problem is that most of the times you don't want to let the people who are closest to you know about your problems. The first step is admitting things are quite right within you body.

Moke · 13th December 2011, 22:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevie_m

Well good luck to you both,

When my first son was born I was majorly depressed, kept it inside (prob a bad thing in the long run) I think it was basically down to the overwhelming weight of REAL responsiblity that you are responsible for this living soul. That's why when I ever see a post about a young guy saying his gf is preggers I will always admit the problem I had so they know that not just the women go through problems after childbirth.

We all have bad days but when I turns into bad weeks then bad months it's maybe better to seek some help (I don't mean medical help, but sometimes it's good to talk about all the problems and worries that you have in your life) problem is that most of the times you don't want to let the people who are closest to you know about your problems. The first step is admitting things are quite right within you body.

Ah, not good to hear mate, but I bet it was a shock to the amount of responsibility you had when you had your kid!

I never really speak to mates about my problems, I think I'm better off seeking professional help, which I've done

stevie_m · 13th December 2011, 23:05

My problems were over 8 years ago,

I just hate the stigmatism that is banded with depression (suicides and self harming and such) at the end of the day we have problems but we can only cope with so much. I know that it's not "manly" to admit problems like that but if we don't it's just gonna be a never ending cycle. I'd hate for my sons to go through any of the problems I went through as a young adult (worked away from home for 2 years when I was 16 and lost all my supposed "real friends" who didnt notice that i was having problems) and into early parenthood.

I read this thread earlier last month and was wondering how you were doing but just didn't want to ask just incase you thought I was a nosey cunt.

Moke · 13th December 2011, 23:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevie_m

My problems were over 8 years ago,

I just hate the stigmatism that is banded with depression (suicides and self harming and such) at the end of the day we have problems but we can only cope with so much. I know that it's not "manly" to admit problems like that but if we don't it's just gonna be a never ending cycle. I'd hate for my sons to go through any of the problems I went through as a young adult (worked away from home for 2 years when I was 16 and lost all my supposed "real friends" who didnt notice that i was having problems) and into early parenthood.

I read this thread earlier last month and was wondering how you were doing but just didn't want to ask just incase you thought I was a nosey cunt.

No mate, you speak sense... I'm more of a man to admit your fears and problems than you are just pretending you're OK... At the end of the day, you're only fooling yourself.

I wouldn't have said that mate

Tbh, the support and comments from everyone in this thread are a great help!

shaneio · 13th December 2011, 23:44

as said buddy go to your doctors, they will try put you on anti depressants and will book you in for counselling.

i feel for ya buddy

LeeM · 14th December 2011, 00:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moke

Just for the fact I'm not depressed and when I was on them, they did fuck all

anti depressants arent for depression the mood, but depression the condition. how long did you take them? takes a few weeks for them to start taking effect. rom someone with experience of them theyre great

Moke · 14th December 2011, 09:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaneio

as said buddy go to your doctors, they will try put you on anti depressants and will book you in for counselling.

i feel for ya buddy

I have mate... Had my first session yesterday

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeeM

anti depressants arent for depression the mood, but depression the condition. how long did you take them? takes a few weeks for them to start taking effect. rom someone with experience of them theyre great

Mate, I'm not depressed lol...

But I know what you're saying

ha_x3 · 14th December 2011, 09:47

when my grandad passed away i really struggled to come to terms with it, especially cause I was with him when he passed so i was having nightmares for quite a while etc.. anyway I was refered from the doctors to a bereavement counciler & i couldnt reccomended them enough. Really helped me talking to someone that wasnt involved/didnt know the situation etc!!

Moke · 14th December 2011, 11:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by ha_x3

when my grandad passed away i really struggled to come to terms with it, especially cause I was with him when he passed so i was having nightmares for quite a while etc.. anyway I was refered from the doctors to a bereavement counciler & i couldnt reccomended them enough. Really helped me talking to someone that wasnt involved/didnt know the situation etc!!

I bet that was a horrible experience tbh.

I was at home when my Dad made the decision to turn off my Mum's life support - I guess he didn't want us to see that, which I respect him for as I'd probably be about 10 x worse!

I've only had one session and I'd recommend it too! Can't wait for next weeks session!

ha_x3 · 14th December 2011, 11:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moke

I bet that was a horrible experience tbh.

I was at home when my Dad made the decision to turn off my Mum's life support - I guess he didn't want us to see that, which I respect him for as I'd probably be about 10 x worse!

I've only had one session and I'd recommend it too! Can't wait for next weeks session!

Yes it was heartbreaking..but i wouldnt change being with him for the world, it ment alot to me knowing he wasnt alone.

I bet that was awful, for your dad having to make that desicion, worst desicion to ever have to make i am guessing?

How old were you when your mum passed?

Moke · 14th December 2011, 11:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by ha_x3

Yes it was heartbreaking..but i wouldnt change being with him for the world, it ment alot to me knowing he wasnt alone.

I bet that was awful, for your dad having to make that desicion, worst desicion to ever have to make i am guessing?

How old were you when your mum passed?

Bless. That's something you can be proud of!

I couldn't imagine how he felt... When he came home and told us, that was the first time I've seen him cry.

I was only 12, but remember everything what happened like it was yesterday.

ha_x3 · 14th December 2011, 11:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moke

Bless. That's something you can be proud of!

I couldn't imagine how he felt... When he came home and told us, that was the first time I've seen him cry.

I was only 12, but remember everything what happened like it was yesterday.

Definatly! That must of been awful, I mean it was hard enough loosing my grandad to cancer, but he had lived his life to the full etc & thats something I am pleased about, but to loose someone who hasnt lived to a good age must be awful (if that makes any sence?)
You were quite young then, that probably doesnt help?

Moke · 14th December 2011, 12:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by ha_x3

Definatly! That must of been awful, I mean it was hard enough loosing my grandad to cancer, but he had lived his life to the full etc & thats something I am pleased about, but to loose someone who hasnt lived to a good age must be awful (if that makes any sence?)
You were quite young then, that probably doesnt help?

Yeah, that does make sense.

It doesn't help the situation, but I guess it was better that I was young as I didn't quite understand fully what was going on - I obviously understand now like.

ha_x3 · 14th December 2011, 15:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moke

Yeah, that does make sense.

It doesn't help the situation, but I guess it was better that I was young as I didn't quite understand fully what was going on - I obviously understand now like.

Yeah I get what you mean.
I would definatly give the counciling a go though, I know it doesnt agree with everyone, some people find it useless, but you have nothing to loose by giving it a go, I would reccomend it to anyone

Moke · 14th December 2011, 15:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by ha_x3

Yeah I get what you mean.
I would definatly give the counciling a go though, I know it doesnt agree with everyone, some people find it useless, but you have nothing to loose by giving it a go, I would reccomend it to anyone

Haha, I've already said about 3 or 4 times... I've just had my first counselling session and got another 10 lined up!