A bear walks into a bar and says 'I'll have a vodka and...............tonic' Bartender replies, 'Whey the big pause?' bear says 'I dunno, was born with em!''
A fish walks into a bar. Barman asks, 'what can i get ya?' The fish croaks 'water'
A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop.
A grasshopper walks into a bar, barman looks at him n says, 'Do u know theres a drink names after u' 'Really! theres a drink called jeremy?'
A preist a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar, barman says 'is this some kinda joke?'
A group of fonts walk into a bar, barman shouts 'get out! we dont serve ur type in ere'
Horse walks into a bar, barman says 'Why the long face?'
A rabbit walks into a bar says 'got any lettuce?' 'this is a pub we only have beer, spirits and water!!'
'alright easy easy' says the rabbit' and walks out. Next day, rabbit walks in again,
'got any lettuce?'
'NO, i told u yesterday only beer, spirits and water!!'
'alright calm down calm down mate' and walks out again.
Next day he walks in again, asks same again, barman now very angry shouts 'No we dont sell bloody lettuce, come in ere again and i'll get my big knife and chop u up for stew! and the rabbit walks out again.
Next day rabbit comes in again and asks 'Alright mate, got a large knife? 'no' says the barman 'ok cool, got any lettuce?'
A sandwich walks into a bar, barman says 'sorry, we don't serve food in ere'
A little pig walks into a bar, orders a drink and asks where the toilets are, the barman tells him and the little pig hurries off. A second little pig walks in, orders a drink and asks where the toilets are, again the barman tells the pig and little pig hurries off. A third little pig then walks in, 'I suppose you will want directions to the toilet?'
'Nope' replies the pig, 'I'm the one that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home.
A penguin walks into a bar, ask thes barman 'Have you seen my brother?' barman replies 'Dunno, what does he look like?'
A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a glass of whisky. When the drink arrives, the string gulps it down and runs out without paying. Outside the string ruffles itself and ties itself up , goes back in and orders another whisky 'Oi, your the bit of string that just ran out without paying!' the string replies 'No, im a frayed knot'
A man walks into a bar with a lump of tarmac under his arm, 'I'll have a pint of beer, and one for the road'
A Frenchman walks into a bar with a toad on his head. 'What the hell is that!' asks the barman. The toad replies, 'I don't know, it started as a wart on my ass and grew'
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RX7 FD Single turbo & Gold VTR MK2
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