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28th May 2008, 13:37
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#1
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Saxperience Forum Bum
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Spalding-ish
Posts: 2,512
Car(s): Mk4 Anniversary golf. 106 Quiksallye
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Most embarrassing sexual experience? NSFW (back again!)
C'mon then, we all have them..
What's your worst?
Was at a house party about 6 years ago, met this girl, fugly but nice boobs. Got way to drunk. Ended up getting almost comatose on a bed. She comes up, jumps on top. I rise to occasion - as you do. 2 mins later she jumps off in tears, grabs her clothes and does a runner. I get up, take a sip of my beer, wonder out onto the landing with no kecks on to be greeted by about 10 people laughing at my blood soaked exposed crutch. Gave a smirk and wondered down stairs (still keck-less) to find a lift home. Drink is bad.
Apparently i was used to loose her virginity. Get in
Last edited by VtsTom; 9th July 2009 at 14:49.
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28th May 2008, 13:39
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#2
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Saxperience Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,423
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Sure she didnt just come on? 
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RIP Ian Tuplin
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28th May 2008, 13:40
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#3
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Frequent Poster
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chesterfield
Posts: 890
Car(s): Mk1 Vtr
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i got bladded once upon a time, and passed out and collapsed on the chick whilst on the job. Thats the last time iv drank straight vodka from the bottle.
I laughed. She had to put me to bed.
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28th May 2008, 13:42
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#4
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Saxperience Hardcore!
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 29,674
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Snapped Banjo string several times.
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28th May 2008, 13:43
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#5
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Saxperience Forum Bum
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: nottingham
Posts: 4,801
Car(s): saxo mark 2
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mine would not be so much myself but a girl who i nailed did a massive fanny fart and i laughed and walked out the room...
she has never got over it tbh!!!
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28th May 2008, 13:44
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#6
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Saxperience Forum Bum
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Stockton-on-tees
Posts: 3,484
Car(s): Tuna Can
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I was at a friend 18th and i was rather drunk by the end so me and my ex went back to mine started doing the business, and i then threw up on her... nothing turns a woman on more than vomit 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aly
Sam there's not a day goes by where I sniff the seat for after smell of your arse
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28th May 2008, 13:44
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#7
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Durham (England)
Posts: 37,932
Car(s): 1. AX
2. Mk2 Saxo VTR
3. MK4 R32 DBP
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whilst down on a lass, i was proper turned on hadnt had it for a few weeks and rubbing on the bed got me a bit too excited, when it came to shagging her she was like haway then whack it in and i said sorry ive already came lol 
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28th May 2008, 13:44
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#8
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Saxperience Forum Bum
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Spalding-ish
Posts: 2,512
Car(s): Mk4 Anniversary golf. 106 Quiksallye
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Lol varts make me giggle no matter the situation
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28th May 2008, 13:45
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#9
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Saxperience Hardcore!
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Newtowntowntowntowntown
Posts: 17,562
Car(s): Civic Type R EP3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leckie
Snapped Banjo string several times.
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Ditto...
Nothing like running downstairs to inspect a broken dick in mirror while she lays naked in bed......
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Star in the Hood
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28th May 2008, 13:46
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#10
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Saxperience Forum Bum
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Spalding-ish
Posts: 2,512
Car(s): Mk4 Anniversary golf. 106 Quiksallye
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Predator_VTR
whilst down on a lass, i was proper turned on hadnt had it for a few weeks and rubbing on the bed got me a bit too excited, when it came to shagging her she was like haway then whack it in and i said sorry ive already came lol |
I know a lad that spent 30 mins shagging the bed sheets because he thought he was in. The evil lass didnt tell him. Friction burns FTL
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28th May 2008, 13:46
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#11
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Saxperience Hardcore!
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 29,674
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AdamW
Ditto...
Nothing like running downstairs to inspect a broken dick in mirror while she lays naked in bed......
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All about putting it in the sink and squeeeeezing it. Blood just drops off it like a tap
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28th May 2008, 13:47
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#12
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Frequent Poster
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 996
Car(s): Mazda 3 MPS
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was talking to a mate of mine the other day, and he was telling me about his friends recent sexual experience, his mate went home with some reeli big fugly bird.... she turned the lights off and asked if he was into kinky stuff.... he replied "yes".... she got on top of him and he waited to see what she had in mind. All of a sudden he felt something land on his chest..... he shot up and put the light on 2 discover something rather disturbing slide off his chest and onto the floor........ hmmmm...... he the vacated the premises...
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28th May 2008, 13:47
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#13
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Infrequent Poster
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Weston Super Mare
Posts: 102
Car(s): posi blue Vts
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LOL at banjo,
finally a thread i can relate to.
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28th May 2008, 13:47
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#14
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Saxperience Forum Bum
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Spalding-ish
Posts: 2,512
Car(s): Mk4 Anniversary golf. 106 Quiksallye
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Never snapped mine...
Seen a lad doing his missus up a wall to hear "ARRRRRRGHHHHHH ive broke my willy!!!!" Apparently he slipped and grazed it up against the brick wall. Not cool
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28th May 2008, 13:49
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#15
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Durham (England)
Posts: 37,932
Car(s): 1. AX
2. Mk2 Saxo VTR
3. MK4 R32 DBP
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she shit on him then, niiiiiiice
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28th May 2008, 13:49
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#16
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Saxperience Hardcore!
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 29,674
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VtsTom
I know a lad that spent 30 mins shagging the bed sheets because he thought he was in. The evil lass didnt tell him. Friction burns FTL
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My mate did the same. Got on top and starting to pump away.
'Jesus your tight'
'Might want to take my shorts off Aaron'
Bird is a lass we all hang around with. seriously funny.
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28th May 2008, 13:50
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#17
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Frequent Poster
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 996
Car(s): Mazda 3 MPS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Predator_VTR
she shit on him then, niiiiiiice
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Yup ... she also used his sock 2 clean herself ......... quite funny though coz the guys a bit of a tube anyway haha. Disgusting though...
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28th May 2008, 13:54
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#18
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Frequent Poster
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: east kilbride
Posts: 648
Car(s): saxo vts phase 2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin2k8
Yup ... she also used his sock 2 clean herself ......... quite funny though coz the guys a bit of a tube anyway haha. Disgusting though...
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i would of shot her for that tbh
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saxo gone  scooby in 
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28th May 2008, 13:55
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#19
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Saxperience Forum Bum
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Co Durham/Hereford
Posts: 3,044
Car(s): 'Floz' Citroen saxo 1.1 [RIP], Escort XR3i, 306 Tu
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Hmm where do i start. Falling asleep most times and talking about the FA cup. Didnt go down well.
1 minute wonders. Doesnt bother me tbh.
Finding out she's really hairy and not being able to go through with it.
So glad i have a gf now
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Danhunt, ePerve.
Because being a pervert in real life isn't as fun.
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28th May 2008, 13:56
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#20
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Saxperience Hardcore!
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Newtowntowntowntowntown
Posts: 17,562
Car(s): Civic Type R EP3
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Seriously if a girl shit on me I would break her face
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Star in the Hood
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