What are Friends and True Friends - Saxperience

Tim_W · 28th December 2006, 21:00

Ok its that crazy guy again with another one of his pointless threads but please bare with me on this one. My main reason for posting this is to make you think and I wouldn't bother if i didnt think i had a genuine point to make.

The story is i have just had a discussion with a female friend through 'text messages' about friendship. I was asked how many friends i had at school. I replied by saying that there were lots, but not many that i would consider 'true' friends, infact there is only one that i consider a 'true' friend who i am still in touch with from school. My female friend, sensing that she had struck a blow

latched onto me like a Rottweiler on a Low Hill litter pickers leg and sensing that i had been shaken by her first question asked me to name all of my 'true' friends. This was the knock out blow

, because i wouldnt do it, i couldn't put them into a list, it seemed wrong. There are only a handfull after 28 years of my life and seeing their names on a screen would seem to belittle what they have each done for me in the past. Its not because there are so few that was the problem, because thats the whole point with true friend's. It was the fact that in some way i felt it was quite a personal a question, afterall their names would mean nothing to her, when they mean so much to me. I am not an overly sensitive guy

but this seemed to strike a cord with me in some way.

So my questions to you are: What do you consider a friend ? What do you consider a 'True' friend ? Would having to list them by name and then tell everyone what they have done for you make you stop and think ? would sharing your feelings for your true friends feel personal in some way ?

I never post unless i think i have a valid topic of conversation. Hopefully this will get you thinking about who your friends really are and what they do for you day in and day out. Value them while they are here, because you never know when you could loose them.

Tim

Leo · 28th December 2006, 21:08

I think its a silly thing to think about, a freinds a freind. you shouldnt rely on anyone so i wouldnt put that sort of pressure on a "true friend"

you cant know whos a true freind until they shine in a certain situation, its going to take a situation to see how much of a friend somebody is. you cant just say off the top of your head, unless there has been a situation

Tim_W · 28th December 2006, 21:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leo

you cant know whos a true freind until they shine in a certain situation, its going to take a situation to see how much of a friend somebody is. you cant just say off the top of your head, unless there has been a situation

What you have said is spot on, but the particular quote above makes a lot of sense to me and is something i was thinking but couldn't put it into words. You have done just that,

Thank you,

Tim

sshaxx · 28th December 2006, 22:07

I like how you think Tim, its quite interesting

IMO, friends are people who know your name, a little bit about your background and people who have have topics you can discuss with.

A true friend, as leo said, is someone i would consider has proven themselves to be so by doing something an ordinary 'friend' wouldnt have.

Just because you grew up with someone and know everything about them, doesnt make them a true friend, its only when you're down that you find out who your true friends are.

2klthor · 28th December 2006, 22:34

A true friend is someone you can trust, and relate to a suppose, take this for example,

scenario: i told a true friend i thought i loved a really ugly in his opinion girl, his reply as a true friend would be understanding and to keep it secret, between you and him/her.

A friend is someone that f you perhaps told a secret or an opinion on somethin would either laugh or sell you out a joke to others.

Its a bit of a toughy i suppose cause many people react in different ways as leo said, but everyone is different so it doesnt always mean they are not a true friend because they reacted in a different way to a given situation.

All and all its a mixture of things imo.

Luke

MikeCracknell · 28th December 2006, 22:44

Someone you can trust 100%
Someone who defends you in your absence
Someone who can always answer the phone to you
Someone who can predict your attitudes/mood swings
Someone who gives a dam!

Mike

LittleDude101 · 28th December 2006, 22:59

imo, a true friend is someone you know you trust.
I have a few 'true' friends, who i KNOW, if in a difficult/bad/hard etc siutation would be there for me, and in occasions one of them has.

A friend, i see, is someone who you can relate to, know abit about and isnt just someone you will recognise in the street.

I wouldnt like to be put into a position of saying whos in groups, but my true friends know who they are... not through me telling them, its something you just know...

spanair · 28th December 2006, 23:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleDude101

imo, a true friend is someone you know you trust.
I have a few 'true' friends, who i KNOW, if in a difficult/bad/hard etc siutation would be there for me, and in occasions one of them has.

A friend, i see, is someone who you can relate to, know abit about and isnt just someone you will recognise in the street.

I wouldnt like to be put into a position of saying whos in groups, but my true friends know who they are... not through me telling them, its something you just know...

My thoughts exactly, good one

saxx · 28th December 2006, 23:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeCracknell

Someone you can trust 100%
Someone who defends you in your absence
Someone who can always answer the phone to you
Someone who can predict your attitudes/mood swings
Someone who gives a dam!

Mike

someone who knows what your thinkin before you do

spanair · 28th December 2006, 23:13

For some reason with my luck "True friends" happen to only be girls, weird..

Barry123 · 28th December 2006, 23:37

I'm fortunate to have both a lot of female friends and male friends.

that's all.

R4T · 28th December 2006, 23:50

thing is if i saw a car broken down at the side of a road i would stop to help even if i didnt know them,day in day out i spray parts for mates cars etc,my question to you m8,does it mean i have helped some1 out broken down that iam there true friend because i have done more for them than some they have known all there life hasnt?

i dont think so

SNewham · 28th December 2006, 23:53

I only have one or two true friends but.

I think that your most true friends are your close family.

Connor_scotland · 29th December 2006, 08:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leo

I think its a silly thing to think about, a freinds a freind. you shouldnt rely on anyone so i wouldnt put that sort of pressure on a "true friend"

you cant know whos a true freind until they shine in a certain situation, its going to take a situation to see how much of a friend somebody is. you cant just say off the top of your head, unless there has been a situation

couldnt of said it any better

Tim_W · 29th December 2006, 17:24

Thank you all very much for your input. You have come up with some very good thoughts on this subject and i agree with a lot of what is being said. I also understand more clearly some of the reasons for my reaction when faced with the question 'name your true friends'.

Tim

lozi_murias · 29th December 2006, 20:16

Tim.....your threads rock. End of!

It's very true you should value your friends. But everyone you meet in the world, every person has something to offer, something you can learn from them (even if it is simply how NOT to act or how not to live...) and so no-one should be dismissed.

Friends are people who you not only value, trust, respect, but those who feel the same about you. Friends are honest - you cannot really call dishonest people friends as you never know how they're really feeling. Friends are those who like Leo said, would help you out and those who you would feel compelled to help out too. Friends listen and have time for you. Friends are not ashamed to be seen with you.

True friends can tell each other anything, although like Alicia said, they don't really need to: they usually know anyway! True friends help to make you who you are.

Leo: if someone who you previously considered a true friend lets you down in a situation, are they no longer a true friend, or were they misjudged in the first place?

Apologies for the essay....i loooooove psychology!

Leo · 29th December 2006, 21:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by lozi_murias

Leo: if someone who you previously considered a true friend lets you down in a situation, are they no longer a true friend, or were they misjudged in the first place?

Situation permitting, yes I would still consider them a true friend. A true friend doesnt have to be a superhero and be there for anything and everything. I think it just takes that one time, maybe even in a split second.. where they shine and surprise you. 10 years down the line they might not shine the same way in the same situation for whatever reasons, but the fact is they did that first time and thats where it counts i think. Also the sort of situations im talking about dont happen often, im talking real not petty things.

Anywho this "true friend" crap is bollocks in my opinion, differernt people have differernt qualitys. While one mate might have your back against the local ganster, knowing hes going to have to watch his back for the next few years, another mate might not have this courage and run, But that one who runs might concer his fear of flying to come bail you out of a foriegn jail, while the first mate with the big balls couldnt.

Silly examples, but you get the point.

Barry123 · 29th December 2006, 21:06

a true friend is someone who will kiss your balls...