Coping after a stroke

[JoeHindle]

Hi all, some of you will have seen in another thread, or I'll have spoken to you on Facebook, but 3 weeks on Saturday, my Dad collapsed at home after a stroke, initially this started as one of his "thunderclap headaches" a very severe migraine that feels like an electrical pulse from the top the spine to the front of your head.

Anyway, it took the doctors 4 days to diagnose he'd had a stroke and he was recovering really well.. until they told him he was moving hospital and made him wait around all day stressing out about it, they moved him at 10.30pm and the next morning he had another stroke, he didn't recover as well from this stroke and was completely bed bound for 3/4 days he started getting better again and then one morning he text my mum "think I had another do, I'll see you tonight x"

She rang the ward and was informed he'd had another and he was sleeping.. That day the doctors that came to speak to him and did the usual tests "can you feel this, can you feel that" and on the left hand side of his body, he can't feel pain, or temperature.

After this the doctors told him and my mum about a new trail being offered out to stroke patients... a computer picks at random, people who get a "stent" put into the artery in their neck, and others who get given medication to keep the blood thin. My dad got picked for the stent, he had the op two days later and he will have to keep a diary of day to day life and go for check ups every month for the first 3 months, and then once every 6 months..

During a chat after the operation the doctor told him that they got to him in time, to which my dad jokingly replied " haha, before it killed me", apparently the doctor kept a completely straight face and said "basically Mr. Hindle, yes.."

Anyway, he came home tonight, he's still a bit unsteady on his feet, he's got a slight squint in his left eye and sounds like he has lost his voice slightly, but he's basically my dad again.

I've rambled on enough now, basically has anyone else been through this and should we expect any changes in the way my dad acts with us, like snapping at the slightest thing etc and can anyone recommend anything to help him recover a bit better..

Thanks for reading,

Joe


Edit: shit me I didn't realise it was so long..

[mlawlan69]

feel for you mate, really do.

I actually do have first hand experience of this, not with someone close to me so the sentiment wont be the same, however a work colleague had a stroke around January time and was off work for about 5-6 weeks.

upon returning to work, we noticed that his portion control and gauge of size had grown considerably (he was dicing onions the size of 10p rather than a piece of rice for example) and that he wouldn't listen or take on board anything anybody said to him, he would never be violent but he would be quite brazen whereas before he wasn't, it effects everybody differently so im not sure how it will help, but never know !!

[JoeHindle]

Originally Posted by mlawlan69

feel for you mate, really do.

I actually do have first hand experience of this, not with someone close to me so the sentiment wont be the same, however a work colleague had a stroke around January time and was off work for about 5-6 weeks.

upon returning to work, we noticed that his portion control and gauge of size had grown considerably (he was dicing onions the size of 10p rather than a piece of rice for example) and that he wouldn't listen or take on board anything anybody said to him, he would never be violent but he would be quite brazen whereas before he wasn't, it effects everybody differently so im not sure how it will help, but never know !!

Yeah, my dad's been told not to drive for 4 weeks and to stay off work for 4-8 weeks, depending on how he feels.. But his commute is Preston- Ambergate so it might take him a while to want to drive that far in a way

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2, to piss Chr15 off.

[Bedford126]

Never had to experience any one who's had a stroke mate. Best of luck to your dad though.

[JoeHindle]

Originally Posted by Bedford126

Never had to experience any one who's had a stroke mate. Best of luck to your dad though.

Cheers Bedford, it was weird in a way, him being back at home especially seeing as he shuffles a bit more instead of walking and that's a massive pet hate of his..

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2, to piss Chr15 off.

[Bedford126]

Originally Posted by JoeHindle

Cheers Bedford, it was weird in a way, him being back at home especially seeing as he shuffles a bit more instead of walking and that's a massive pet hate of his..

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2, to piss Chr15 off.

I don't know what your relationship is like with your dad but I know if my dad was doing something he hated before I would have to take the piss out of him. Sounds harsh but it's just being Norman.

Suppose he will just want to be treated like he was before, anyways good luck and if you need to talk you know where to come (pm Ross).

[DAMSK11]

Originally Posted by Bedford126

I don't know what your relationship is like with your dad but I know if my dad was doing something he hated before I would have to take the piss out of him. Sounds harsh but it's just being Norman.

Suppose he will just want to be treated like he was before, anyways good luck and if you need to talk you know where to come (pm Ross).

This made me smile...

Btw OP, best of luck to your dad mate.

[Bedford126]

Originally Posted by DAMSK11

This made me smile...

Btw OP, best of luck to your dad mate.

Hope he knows there are a few members on here that he could talk to if he needed to. I'm sure Ross would be one of them too.

[JoeHindle]

Originally Posted by Bedford126

I don't know what your relationship is like with your dad but I know if my dad was doing something he hated before I would have to take the piss out of him. Sounds harsh but it's just being Norman.

Suppose he will just want to be treated like he was before, anyways good luck and if you need to talk you know where to come (pm Ross).

It's crossed my mind, took the piss at tea time ( we had Chinese) and it's his first meal out of hospital, so I was like 'I know you'll be disappointed that it's not tomato soup, but deal with it, you're back St home now so you have to eat normal human food' it made him chuckle hahah

Originally Posted by DAMSK11

This made me smile...

Btw OP, best of luck to your dad mate.

Cheers man


Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2, to piss Chr15 off.

[JoeHindle]

Originally Posted by Bedford126

Hope he knows there are a few members on here that he could talk to if he needed to. I'm sure Ross would be one of them too.

There are plenty of members on here that have gained my respect/trust etc over the last two years, they've helped with some tough times

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2, to piss Chr15 off.

[stevie_m]

Good luck

[GolfJay]

I had a customer have a stroke while I was doing first aid on them. Its the strangest thing ever as it just seems as though they leave their body for a short while.

I hope your dad gets better dude!

[GolfJay]

Originally Posted by JoeHindle

There are plenty of members on here that have gained my respect/trust etc over the last two years, they've helped with some tough times

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2, to piss Chr15 off.

Me
Chris
Cliosxt

Oh wait, probably neither of us 3 thinking about it lol

[wadoryu]

Sorry to hear that man, iv seen alot of customers in the shop, one day they're fine. Next they're like a potatoe. Most of the ones who get away lightly seem to get there in the end, it is a slow process though. Anyway my thoughts dude, take care.

[Manu]

My dad had a couple of strokes. It was difficult times as each time he ended up with the memory of a goldfish for a few days. It was a scary experience to say the least, and some doctors actually suggested to lock him up in the nut house.

He's much better now though there still is that Damocles sword hanging over him if you see what I mean. From experience I know it takes time to recover from that, so best of luck to your dad.

[0rang3peel]

Good luck my friend,

My Nan had many strokes, however the circumstances were a lot different. She went against doctors advice and continued eating crap, she was horrendously overweight and once she lost the left side of her body there was no way of exercising to lose it.

Because she was immobile and living a terrible existence there was no way anyone could decline giving her the one thing she loved in life... food and so she essentially ate her way into the ground.

Back then though she was brought up on lardy gravy so it was in her mindset that cooking everything in 7 tonnes of lard was not bad for you!

[Psycho18]

How old is he ?

[Rossp]

Originally Posted by Bedford126

Hope he knows there are a few members on here that he could talk to if he needed to. I'm sure Ross would be one of them too.

This. Hit me up on facebook or even email if you need a chat - there's several members on here that can take your mind off stuff if you need to too. Being a little older unfortunately I've had a few family members leave us now, but I'm lucky that those I'm closest to are still with me - my dad and my mum for example are both quite well (although my mum is disabled and struggles a bit). A stroke can be really bad and it looks like you've "got off lightly" (I'm not being a cunt, obviously) so I'm pleased for you. All you can do is support him - he'll probably want treating like normal if he's anything like my dad, and will above ll want to keep his dignity so will want to do as much of everything that he used to as possible.

My father-in-law has parkinsons, as does my step-mother, so I've seen the shuffling along quite a bit - they're both conscious they do it and find it embarrassing so I hope he finds a way to cope with it or gets used to it. Rollerskates?

On a more serious note dude, I know it's only an internet forum but there are some "serious" members here with grown up attitudes and real responsibilities (I try not to be but alias, sometimes am forced into it!) - you know already who they are. I'm positive anyone would chat if you just needed a mate to talk to. I certainly would.

Finally, there are some other things for you to think about (depending on severity and your family circumstance of course). Look at local support groups for the family. His needs are often addressed through hospital etc but there's often little support for the family that now have to perform extra care activities (if there are any for you). Don't forget about DLA (Disability Living Allowance) also if he's struggling to move about or can't do everything himself as he used to. DLA can really help - my father in law is currently "ok" and managing, but saving the DLA they're getting means in a year or so they should be able to convert a downstairs room into a bedroom with an on-suite so he doesn't have to go upstairs to bed etc (which he struggles with). Think outside the box. You don't have to struggle, and you certainly don't have to be alone.

Be brave Joe

[JoeHindle]

Originally Posted by wadoryu

Sorry to hear that man, iv seen alot of customers in the shop, one day they're fine. Next they're like a potatoe. Most of the ones who get away lightly seem to get there in the end, it is a slow process though. Anyway my thoughts dude, take care.

Cheers John, Happy Birthday by the way

Originally Posted by Manu

My dad had a couple of strokes. It was difficult times as each time he ended up with the memory of a goldfish for a few days. It was a scary experience to say the least, and some doctors actually suggested to lock him up in the nut house.

He's much better now though there still is that Damocles sword hanging over him if you see what I mean. From experience I know it takes time to recover from that, so best of luck to your dad.

Yeah they told him after his first there was a 4 week window in which he may have another, and he had two, in the space of a week..

Originally Posted by 0rang3peel

Good luck my friend,

My Nan had many strokes, however the circumstances were a lot different. She went against doctors advice and continued eating crap, she was horrendously overweight and once she lost the left side of her body there was no way of exercising to lose it.

Because she was immobile and living a terrible existence there was no way anyone could decline giving her the one thing she loved in life... food and so she essentially ate her way into the ground.

Back then though she was brought up on lardy gravy so it was in her mindset that cooking everything in 7 tonnes of lard was not bad for you!

Unfortunately thats how quite a lot of the older generations were raised, quite sad in a way..

Originally Posted by Psycho18

How old is he ?

He's 43, 44 in December..

Originally Posted by Ross

This. Hit me up on facebook or even email if you need a chat - there's several members on here that can take your mind off stuff if you need to too. Being a little older unfortunately I've had a few family members leave us now, but I'm lucky that those I'm closest to are still with me - my dad and my mum for example are both quite well (although my mum is disabled and struggles a bit). A stroke can be really bad and it looks like you've "got off lightly" (I'm not being a cunt, obviously) so I'm pleased for you. All you can do is support him - he'll probably want treating like normal if he's anything like my dad, and will above ll want to keep his dignity so will want to do as much of everything that he used to as possible.

My father-in-law has parkinsons, as does my step-mother, so I've seen the shuffling along quite a bit - they're both conscious they do it and find it embarrassing so I hope he finds a way to cope with it or gets used to it. Rollerskates?

On a more serious note dude, I know it's only an internet forum but there are some "serious" members here with grown up attitudes and real responsibilities (I try not to be but alias, sometimes am forced into it!) - you know already who they are. I'm positive anyone would chat if you just needed a mate to talk to. I certainly would.

Finally, there are some other things for you to think about (depending on severity and your family circumstance of course). Look at local support groups for the family. His needs are often addressed through hospital etc but there's often little support for the family that now have to perform extra care activities (if there are any for you). Don't forget about DLA (Disability Living Allowance) also if he's struggling to move about or can't do everything himself as he used to. DLA can really help - my father in law is currently "ok" and managing, but saving the DLA they're getting means in a year or so they should be able to convert a downstairs room into a bedroom with an on-suite so he doesn't have to go upstairs to bed etc (which he struggles with). Think outside the box. You don't have to struggle, and you certainly don't have to be alone.

Be brave Joe

Cheers Ross I did think about offering him my youngest brothers 3 wheeled scooter

[Aly]

My gran has had 3 of these in the past 6 months, she's 75 and quite mobile but whenever she's had one she's become very unsteady on her feet.
She gets very frustrated when she becomes immobile I take her out in her wheelchair but she would much prefer to be able to walk.